Can't stop thinking something is wrong with me and I want the thoughts to stop

[coralation]

I know I've developed hypochondria because I literally make myself sick thinking something is terribly wrong with me. This past year, it's gotten really bad, and every little thing that happens with me I link it to a possible serious illness or just blow it out of proportion in my mind. Either that or something is wrong with me and I'm ignoring it. I really don't know. I'm seriously so completely terrified of seeing a doctor and I just wish I could stop thinking this way because people keep telling me that, in terms of having an illness other than anxiety, hypochondria or depression, I'm fine. So do I even need to see a doctor for anything physical? Or do I really just need to see a therapist? I'm honestly just really scared of it altogether. I just want to be normal.

Every little thing I notice on my body that feels different, or hurts, or just ANYTHING makes me panic. I went through an episode where I thought I had MS, when I'm pretty sure the symptoms I was feeling were all because of anxiety. My uncle who is a doctor laughed at me and told me it was all definitely anxiety, that MS doesn't run in our family, and that I definitely didn't have it. Then one day I realized that one of my breasts felt different from the other one, and kept thinking I had breast cancer. I looked up what a breast lump feels like and to be honest it didn't even feel anything like that in my breasts, but it was like the thoughts were stuck. It took a while before I could finally stop thinking about that, but my mom finally told me to stop panicking because nobody's breasts are symmetrical and that hers are completely different in shape and size, and she finally reassured me I was okay and didn't have breast cancer. If people give me convincing reassurance that I'm fine then I can shake it off, but when people just say, "go to the doctor, go to the doctor" it just makes me feel so much worse and more afraid.

Lately I've been noticing that when I cross my legs when I'm sitting or when I lay down or even just sitting in certain positions, I get this feeling in my toes where it feels like a string is tied around them. They don't feel numb or anything, but they just feel weird. I looked it up (I have a problem with googling things like I think many people on here do) and at least read that it seems to be common and hasn't killed anyone, but I still don't like it. I've also been panicking when getting a bruise. I got one on my leg last week and couldn't remember banging my leg or how I got it, so of course I thought it was cancer and panicked. My mom said I probably hit it in my sleep or maybe just hit it somewhere and didn't realize how hard I did so therefore that's why I didn't remember hitting it. Today, as I was in the shower, I raised my arm and realized I have this pain in my armpit like it's bruised too, and now I'm really, really, really panicking to the point where I feel sick to my stomach. That is just NOT a good place to feel pain. I'm so scared right now, thinking I have lymphoma or something. I feel like there's always SOMETHING. I keep thinking that if these stupid little things would just stop happening on my body, then I could stop thinking this way, but it's like something always comes along! But then, am I always just looking for something to panic about, is that it? Oh my god I seriously don't know.

I also find myself getting so lost in my thoughts that I almost start to believe them and then I panic thinking I'm developing schizophrenia. I even sometimes think the hypochondria is the start of schizophrenia. Everything that happens with me, I think it's because of being ill with something. I'm so sick of this! I'm so sick of thinking this way! But the "what if" way of thinking is so hard to reverse. I just hate it. Like, when I try my best to think logically, it's not possible to have cancer, MS, AND schizophrenia at the same time, and the odds of that are slim to none. So the odds are probably that I don't have any of them. But that doesn't mean I can just stop being afraid of the possibilities.

The only reasons I can think of to why I might be getting these new symptoms are because for the past few months I haven't really been out of the house much. I think this has really made the anxiety worse too, because it's given me more time to overthink things like what could be wrong with my body. I've been depressed, I fell out with my best friend this year, I've drifted away from other friends, and haven't had a job because I'm moving this summer and figured it was pointless to find one I'd have to quit. I don't see much of anyone lately. Being alone so much isn't something I'm so used to and it's making me have depression and anxiety that just gets worse and worse. I feel like I don't have anything happy to take my mind away from this right now. I feel like I'm literally going crazy being alone sometimes. From what I know, spending too much time alone can make people go a little bit out of their mind. So maybe that's where the schizophrenia fears come from...because when I'm with other people or when I think about the way things were in the past, it wasn't like this and I wasn't this bad with my thinking and overthinking. Also, from sitting around so much because I haven't been going anywhere lately, is it possible that I'm not doing any favours for my circulation and that is why I'm getting the weird toe feeling? My legs kind of do feel weird lately. Of course at first I think it could be MS, but bad circulation is probably a more likely and common cause isn't it? I'm so damn sick of having to think about this stuff, but I'm going to sign back up for the gym and exercise and hope this feeling goes away. When I'm walking, I don't feel it at all.

I just want this to stop. I'm only 20 years old and I feel like this is starting to get debilitating. I know I need to see a therapist about a lot of my issues, probably this too, though I strongly refuse to take any anti-depressants or medication. I just want to reverse this way of thinking and be happy and normal. Please, for anyone reading this...please don't just tell me to go see the doctor. Please tell me any methods or things that you might have done to help you stop thinking this way. I'm sure a lot of people on here will know more than me because I'm younger and maybe less experienced with dealing with this. Please help!

[christina10778]

I'm the exact same way. I've had Health Anxiety ever since I was a kid and it blew up like crazy about 6 years ago. I'm always paying attention to every single sensation of my body, and I have tons like every 5 minutes. And even after numerous ER visits, doctors appointments, xrays, scans and bloodwork I swear I'm dying of something. Right now, I'm feeling like my lungs are giving out, I can't catch my breath, I feel as if I'm in a dream, I'm getting throbbing in my chest and throat, I'm sitting on the very edge of my seat with my feet in tip toe position so they won't go numb, and I'm silently freaking out, but I know that its all in my head. Just calm down, your fine. I found this list of anxiety symptoms on the web a couple of years ago and it really, really helped me. I'm posting it here for you. I hope this helps 

Body (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the body in general): Allergy problems, increase in allergies (number, sensitivity, reactions, lengthier reactions)
Back pain, stiffness, tension, pressure, soreness, spasms, immobility in the back or back muscles
Blanching (looking pale, loss of color in the face or skin)
Blushing, turning red, flushed face, flushed skin, blushing, red face or skin
Body jolts, body zaps, electric jolt feeling in body, intense body tremor or “body shake”
Body temperature increase or decrease, change in body temperature
Burning skin, itchy, “crawly,” prickly or other skin sensations, skin sensitivity, numbness on the skin
Burning skin sensation on the face, neck, ears, scalp, or shoulders
Chest pain, chest tightness
Choking
Chronic Fatigue, exhaustion, super tired, worn out
Clumsiness, feeling clumsy, co-ordination problems with the limbs or body
Cold chills, feeling cold
Craving sugar, sweets, chocolate, usual craving for sugar and sweets
Difficulty speaking, moving mouth, talking, co-ordination problems with the mouth or tongue
Dizziness, feeling lightheaded
Dizzy, feeling dizzy
Electric shock feeling, body zaps
Excess of energy, you feel you can’t relax
Falling sensation, feel like your are falling or dropping even though you aren't
Feel like you are going to pass out or faint
Feeling cold or chilled
Feel wrong, different, foreign, odd, or strange
Flu-like symptoms, general malaise, feel ill, like you are coming down with a flu
Flushed face, red face, flushed skin
Head Zaps
Heart palpitations, racing heart
Hyperactivity, excess energy, nervous energy
Increased or decreased sex drive
Infection - increased infections, persistent infection
Mouth or throat clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
Muscles that vibrate, jitter, tremor, or shake when used
Muscle twitching
Nausea
Nausea vomiting
Neck, back, shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
Night sweats, waking up in a sweat, profusely sweating at night
No energy, feeling lethargic, tired
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Numbness and tingling, and other skin sensations on hands, feet, face, head, or any other places on the body
Persistent muscle tension, stiffness
Pounding heart, heart feels like it is beating too hard
Pulsing or throbbing muscles. Pulsing or throbbing sensation.
Rib or rib cage tightness, pressure, or feeling like a tight band around the rib cage
Sexual Dysfunction, sexual uninterest
Shooting pains, stabbing pains, and odd pressures in the neck, head, or face
Shooting pains in the face
Shooting pains in the scalp or head
Skipped heart beats
Sore or tight scalp or back of the neck
Startle easily
Sweating, uncontrollable profuse sweating
The floor feels like it is moving either down or up for no reason
Tightness in the ribs or rib cage area, may also feel like a tight band around the ribs or rib cage area.
Tingling sensations, anywhere on the body, including the hands, feet, legs, arms, head, mouth, chest, groin area
Throat or mouth clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
TMJ
Trembling or shaking
Twitching
Unsteadiness, dizziness, feeling dizzy or lightheaded
Urgency to urinate, frequent urination, sudden urge to go to the washroom (similar to urinary tract or prostate infection symptoms)
Warm spells
Weak - feel weak, weakness, low energy, light, soft, like you may faint
Weak legs, arms, or muscles
Weight loss, weight gain

Chest (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the chest area): Chest tremors, trembling in the chest, chest feels like it is vibrating
Chest pain or discomfort
Concern about the heart
Feel like you have to force yourself to breath
Find it hard to breath, feeling smothered, shortness of breath
Frequent yawning to try and catch your breath
Heart Palpitations – beating hard or too fast, rapid heartbeat
Heart - Irregular heart rhythms, flutters or ‘skipped’ beats, tickle in the chest that makes you cough
Pounding heart, heart feels like it is beating too hard
Rib or rib cage tightness, pressure, or feeling like a tight band around the rib cage

Emotions (see mood) (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with emotions, mood, and feelings)
Fears (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with fear):
A heightened fear of what people think of you
Afraid of being trapped in a place with no exits
Constant feeling of being overwhelmed.
Fear of being in public
Fear of dying
Fear of losing control
Fear of impending doom
Fear of making mistakes or making a fool of yourself to others
Fear of passing out
Fear that you are losing your mind
Fears about irrational things, objects, circumstances, or situations
Fears of going crazy, of dying, of impending doom, of normal things, unusual feelings and emotions, unusually frightening thoughts or feelings
Heightened self awareness, or self-consciousness
Need to find nearest washrooms before you can feel comfortable
Need to seat near exits

Head (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the head):
Burning, itchy, tight scalp
Dizziness
Dizzy
Dizziness or light-headedness
Frequent headaches, migraine headaches
Feeling like there is a tight band around your head, pressure, tightness
Head, neck or shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
Head zaps, head tremors
Giddiness
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Shooting pains, stabbing pains, and odd pressures in the neck, head, or face
Shooting pains in the face
Shooting pains in the scalp or head
When you close your eyes you feel like are beginning to, or will, float upwards
Sore jaw that feels like a tooth ache
TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint) - clenching of the jaw or grinding of the teeth
 
Hearing/Ear(s) (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with hearing):
Feel like there is something stuck in your ear, that your ear canal it plugged or blocked, that there is a pebble in your ear that you can't get out
Low rumbling sounds
Reduced hearing, frequent or intermittent reduced hearing or deafness in one or both ears
Ringing in the ears, noises in the ears, noises in the head
Pulsing in the ears, throbbing sound in the ear(s)
Tickle or itch in your ear that you can't seem to get at

Mind (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the mind and thinking):
Afraid of everything
Altered state of reality, consciousness, or universe feeling
Deja Vu, a feeling like you've done or experienced something before
Depersonalization
Derealization
Desensitization
Difficulty concentrating, short-term memory loss
Difficulty thinking, speaking, forming thoughts, following conversations
Disorientation
Fear of going crazy
Fear of losing control
Fear of impending doom
Feelings of unreality
Frequent feeling of being overwhelmed, or that there is just too much to handle or do
Having difficulty concentrating
Nightmares, bad dreams
Obsession about sensations or getting better
Repetitive thinking or incessant ‘mind chatter’
Short-term learning impairment, have a hard time learning new information
Short-term memory impairment, can't remember what I did a few days, hours, or moments ago
Spaced out feelings, feeling spaced out
"Stuck" thoughts; thoughts, mental images, concepts, songs, or melodies that "stick" in your mind and replay over and over again.
Trapped in your mind feeling
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
You often feel you are carrying the world on your shoulders
 
Mood / Emotions (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with mood, emotions, and feelings):
Always feeling angry and lack of patience
Depersonalization
Depression
Dramatic mood swings (emotional flipping)
Emotionally blunted, flat, or numb
Emotional "flipping" (dramatic mood swings)
Emotions feel wrong
Everything is scary, frightening
Feeling down in the dumps
Feeling like things are unreal or dreamlike
Frequently being on edge or 'grouchy'
Feel like crying for no apparent reason
Have no feelings about things you used to
Not feeling like yourself, detached from loved ones, emotionally numb
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
You feel like you are under pressure all the time
 
Mouth/Stomach (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the mouth and stomach):

A ‘tinny’, ‘metallic’ or ‘ammonia’, or unusual smell or taste
Aerophagia (swallowing too much air, stomach distention, belching)
Burning mouth, feeling like the inside of your mouth is burning, or tingling, or like pins and needles, or all of these together or at different times
Burning tongue, feeling like your tongue is burning, or tingling, or like pins and needles, or all of these, or all of these together or at different times
Choking
Constant craving for sugar or sweets
Constipation
Diarrhea
Difficulty swallowing
Difficulty talking, pronouncing certain letters or sounds, mouth feels like it isn't moving right, slurred speech
Dry mouth
Feeling like you can’t swallow properly or that something will get caught in your throat
Feeling like your tongue is swollen
IBS
Lack of appetite or taste
Lump in the throat, tight throat, something stuck in your throat
Mouth muscles twitching/jumping
Mouth or throat clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
Nausea
Nausea vomiting
Nausea or abdominal stress
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Stomach upset, gas, belching, bloating
Teeth grinding
The thought of eating makes you nauseous
Tight throat, lump in throat
Throat or mouth clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
TMJ
Tongue symptoms - Tingly, “stretched,” numb, frozen, itchy, “crawly,” burning, twitching, “jumpy,” aching, sore, or swollen tongue (when it isn’t).
Urgency to urinate, frequent urination, sudden urge to go to the washroom
Vomiting
 
Skin (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the skin):
Burning skin sensations, skin sensitivity
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Skin problems, infections, rashes
Sleep (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with sleep):
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Frequent bad, bizarre, or crazy dreams
Hearing sounds in your head that jolt you awake
Insomnia, or waking up ill in the middle of the night
Jolting awake
Waking up in a panic attack
You feel worse in the mornings
 
Sight (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with sight):
Distorted, foggy, or blurred vision
Dry, watery or itchy eyes
Eye tricks, seeing things our of the corner of your eye that isn’t there, stars, flashes
Eyes sensitive to light
Spots in the vision
Flashing lights when eyes are closed
Your depth perception feels wrong
Touch (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with touch):
Burning skin sensations, skin sensitivity
Feeling cold or chilled
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Pain
Tingling, pins and needles feelings

Other anxiety symptoms are described as:
Being like a hypochondriac, muscle twinges, worry all the time, tingles, gagging, tightness in the chest, tongue twitches, shaky, breath lump, heart beat problems, head tingles, itchy tingling in arms and legs, and so many more.

In addition to these anxiety symptoms, you may also find yourself worrying compulsively about:
• Having a heart attack
• Having a serious undetected illness
• Dying prematurely
• Going insane or losing your mind
• Suddenly snapping
• Losing it
• Uncontrollably harming yourself or someone you love
• Losing control of your thoughts and actions
• Being embarrassed or making a fool out of yourself
• Losing control
• Fainting in public
• Not breathing properly
• Losing control of reality
• Choking or suffocating
• Being alone

These are some of the more common anxiety symptoms. This list isn't exhaustive.

 

[crazy_jane]

hi christina, i really feel for you. im exactly the same at the moment. im out of work and living away from my old friends and suffering with severe health anxiety and possible depression. my symptoms have been really bad and ive been convinced of MS so much so that ive spent days in tears worrying about everything thats happening in my body. ive also thought ive got a brain tumour and even lyme disease! i have been to the doctor and found it quite reassuring but if you dont want to go i would also suggest having a massage or even seeing a chiropractor. this is a great way to release some of the tension you have in your body caused by anxiety and can encourage relaxation. look into therapy too. it is possible to find counsellors that are experienced with anxiety disorders that can help you.
I do hope you can find some peace, good luck with it and all the best. xx

[xenos89]

I could have written your post word for word  This all sucks so bad doesn't it?

I currently have chest pains which are radiating into my back and am worrying about a heart attack (even though i'm 21, am not overweight, and had a Full blood count done a few weeks back where my results were all perfect including cholesterol and blood pressure and I get similar pains almost every day)

It's riduculous what we do to ourselves but it's so hard to snap out of it and think rationally

[Drewdude]

Hey, i too have all these feelings and symptoms.  i have been through and am still going through the whole ms thing.  its crazy how our minds tend to fascinate on something, but i find that we know its irrational and we know how silly it is deep down.  the things that have helped me are relaxing things on my ipod that help me switch off, meditate and relax, i think that the very fact that you ar on these pages is a massive step to getting better!  you now know it is anxiety!  i've had loads of symtoms but when i relax they go and i feel better but when i feel a little down, even if the weather is bad it comes back again.  i have also googled onlin about anxiety and there are very good things about. 
i think we can beat this!  i dont think any of us have ms here, i know how confusing the whole ms thing is, its a terrible thing to have or even to think you have.  i'd like to know how many irrational thoughts we';ve all had about ms and see how similar they are.  for instance i have buzzing feet, litle tingles in my toes and fingers, i feel lethargic and dizzy at times, like i;ve had too much sugar and i feel shaky...but if i relax or get occupied they disapear.  i've also been paranoid about my eyes and kept comparing them both, i see 'snowy vision' and recently i;ve got myself tinnitus which i seem to be obsessing about. 
i think that we can suport each other here and i wish you and everyone all the best...

[cutebaby506]

Hey i read your post and the same exact thing is happening to me. I am crying right now because I am so tired of all of it, I just want to be normal. My upper back hurts right now and the pain is also in my arm and I am afraid that I will have a heart attack. Also I get all these muscle spasms throughout my body and it is quite irritating. Last night I was washing my hands and all of a sudden it started turning pink. I started freaking out and crying because I thought all the body vessels was bursting in my body and I was going to die. Then after that my heart started racing and I SERIOUSLY thought that I was going to overwork my heart and die. Ugh i feel so stressed out and depressed. I dont want to go anywhere because Im scared that I will die without people being able to save me. But i hope this helps yu feel better because you post did help me feel alot better because now I know that Im not the only person going through this. 

[constantpanic]

Hello
I can honestly say it could of been me writing the same words, A few minutes ago I was panicking about dying as usual and as I read your post I was smilling and nodding along! Now I feel so reassured, so thank you 
I am 31 and for about the last 10 years I have been a hypochondriac I suppose and I hate it, there is ALWAYS something for me to worry about and I'm always thinking I'm going to die young from something or other, the list of things I've been convinced I had run from A-Z at the moment I'm convinced I have stomach cancer. I went to my Dr Explained my symptoms and to be fair to myself I did actually have a bout of gastritis! Treatment has worked brilliantly, and I'm much better, BUT...I read up on the medication I'm taking for it and found that it actually masks the symptoms of stomach cancer, causing me to panic badly again so even though I don't feel physically ill anymore I still think I'm dying.
This happens to me over and over and each time I tell my self 'nothings wrong I felt like this before and I was fine' I end up saying the same thing and that's, that this time it is real, i AM dying this time!
I've had depression in the past but really I'm feeling quite happy, I'm a little stressed because I'm training to be a Psychiatric Nurse, Im happy with the way things are in my life but I just cannot get out of this awful health anxiety and it really upsets me a times because I feel so stupid and think I must seem crazy to people when I talk about it. I do try to think rationally about my 'illneses' sometimes I can give a reason why I ache or whatever, but then I get a niggling doubt that because I ignored the symptoms then I really have got something wrong and I left it too late!!!!
I understand where you and others on this site are coming from.
I'm trying to help myself manage this anxiety and what I've found Ive needed to do is accept that this panic disorder is part of me, as much as I hate it I'm coming to terms with thought that this could go on for the rest of my life, coping with it so it doesn't take over my life is the hard part!
Take care xxx

[1Peter5:7]

These books helped me, try them.


Freedom from Fear
By: Neil T Anderson & Rich Miller

The Bondage Breaker
By: Neil T Anderson

[mbenso]

I'm in the same boat as all of you.......It's horrible how anxiety plays with our minds and actually convinces us we have a neurological disorder or other disease......I've come to accept it's all due to anxiety but every now and then a new odd symptom appears and I'm back to worrying about MS......

I'm currently worried about my eye that kinda feels funny.....Argh!!!

[tofutti83]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has these feelings. I've been having a lot of "new" symptoms lately and was starting to scare myself. Reading that list has helped a bit because a lot of what I'm feeling is on there and things I hadn't heard associated with anxiety before. I'm at the exhaustion point in all this too and just trying not to care anymore but that's so hard. The methods I always use to calm myself aren't working as well as they used to.

[Peace-n-Love]

I was about to make this exact same thread.... I totally feel you. My anxiety has been going like this for a year now. It's every day and hardly a break between. Some of the things I thought I had or  I would die from were rabies (after an animal bite) tetanus (after a minor cut) melanoma (from mole on my back) oral cancer, kidney infection, e coli infection, blood infection (my latest phobia) HIV (a fear I've had off and on since I was young) Although I have been tested, have no risk of or was vaccinated against these different things I still couldn't stop thinking about them and googling. For awhile I had a child block on my browser and had my boyfriend make it to where I could only visit approved websites.

I recommend CBT. It helped me a lot right before I gave birth to my son. But after I had my son (who is 5 months) it got severe again. I am a stay at home mom and we share a vehicle so I don't get out of the house much either. Also I don't have a lot of friends. And my best friend just moved out of town. All the people who I know and consider friends I have worries that they don't like me or they think I'm weird.   It's nice to see someone else knows where I'm coming from and in turn.... someone else out there knows where YOU are coming from! :) I won't take meds either and I don't blame you! I do take klonopin but it's not like antidepressants which stay in your system and can really mess you up. I have heard they help a lot of people but they didn't help me at all, they made me worse.

[Frank24100]

I have the same problems as you and i'm only 16. I wish they could stop.. Ive thought ive had at least 10 different types of cancer and so many more other things. I can't stop thinking about bad things even when i try not to. If i get chest pain i think i'm gonna die. I always thinks something is wrong with me and i know this is not nothing good for a 16 year old... So i hide it from my friends so they don't think i'm insane.

[mollyfin]

Someone should copy and sticky that list of anxiety symptoms!

[starboy17]

Yeah i know what you all mean im 14 and i always think im going to die, because i always feel like its hard to breathe, it used to be my heart but now its my lungs.

I know im fine, because i feel like i have hypochindria,  but i wrote a song for this and it helps me from time to time so here it is

I am fine
Music plays for ten second, and then the singer begins singing

First verse:
“I am dreaming of dream to let all my fears
Go away… somehow I got to love me in my own way”
  Second verse/ chorus:
“Breathing very softly… the pain in my chest starts
To bleed I stare at my own self in the mirror”
Third verse:
“I am ready to start over… I am fine…
The fire clears in my own way”
Chorus:
“Breathing very softly… the pain in my chest starts
To bleed I stare at my own self in the mirror”
Fourth verse:
I am drowning in my own fear… but I am
Fine… fine
Chorus:
“Breathing very softly… the pain in my chest starts
To bleed I stare at my own self in the mirror”
Fifth verse:
Turning waters… standing still… hitting me…
  And knock me on myself on my feet”
Back ground people:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, a, oh…
Six verse:
I am fine… now life is good…. And the smoke clears
In my way… now

Music pays for about five seconds and stops

i hope this helps you all... i so happy i can finally share this with someone...