Meaning

[seoreh]

I am wondering, How many people here who have serious HA and /or ocd feel fulfilled and as though they have lots of deep meaning in their life. I know  it sounds stupid, but I think sometimes we use HA as a means of distracting us from the fact that we feel unfulfilled, scared, anxious nervous about other things in their life. I know I sure do!
 
Lisa

[Stardust2]

I think that's my whole problem. I didn't have anxiety until I got divorced. I'm trying to find my way back in the church after back sliding for 3 years. Thats really when all my problems started.

[seoreh]

I have had HA for 8 years. I feel scared about sooo many things. And unfulfilled by staying home with kids, having a difficult child who also has OCD,  a million things and instead of expressing the feelingI will get all sorts of symptoms. tinnitus, stomach aches, I have had bad obsessions over these years.bad HA.
When I first had a severe panic attack 8 years ago and didn't knowit I was a really spiritual person , and then I felt like POOF, surprise and I lost a lot of faith.
Lisa
 

[elly2978]

Mine started when I got really disillusioned with my career as an engineer. I was also having a lot of problems with my now-ex boyfriend, and some problems with my religious life. Things are better now, and I thought the HA would disappear as I fixed these problems, but it hasn't yet...

[seoreh]

yes, we become soo habitualized to it. Wondering if it's a serotonin imbalance? Anyone here on anti depressants that helps HA? I couldn't tolerate prozac. It made everything worse.
Lisa

[charlie1]

I am wondering, How many people here who have serious HA and /or ocd feel fulfilled and as though they have lots of deep meaning in their life. I know  it sounds stupid, but I think sometimes we use HA as a means of distracting us from the fact that we feel unfulfilled, scared, anxious nervous about other things in their life. I know I sure do!
 
Lisa

All my anxiety issues came to the fore when I started to realise I'd achieved nothing that I hoped I would in life, and have got more prominent over time due to knowing I'd be a loser and a loner all my life. If I could somehow stop fighting it and just accept things as they are without feeling hard done to or regretting that things aren't different for me, then I'm sure my difficulties would fade and recede

[Conspiracy Bird]

I'm afraid I can't concur. My anxieties started at a very young age, before I started thinking very much about that kind of stuff. Also, prozac helped me greatly. On the other hand, my anxiety disorder doesn't seem to be the typical kind.

[lbrickme]

I don't feel unfulfilled as much as I feel out of control.  I tend to think of anxiety and especially HA as something that arises from the need for control or the fear about not being in control.  If you read each of the entries so far it appears that anxiety often reared its head when people had something happen that they were unhappy with but felt like they couldn't control.  And health, and anxiety symptoms are things that really aren't in our control but we like to think it is - so we try to control it. 

My anxiety didn't start until my early 30s when I started to have children.  I know I'm a control freak - always have been.  Before kids I'd always been able to control much of my life - by working hard I got into every college and grad school I applied to, I've gotten every job I wanted, I've always been healthy, I've been happy with my friends, I've never really had big traumas in my life.  But as soon as I had kids I realized: (1) I have massive responsibility thus I need to truly be in control (2) with kids you sort of don't have control over things, especially when they are babies (they don't sleep well, they don't always eat well, when they're sick they can't tell you what's wrong, etc) (3) the possibility of screwing up is unbearable because I love these little beings so intensely that I want their lives to be perfect! (impossible, obviously!) 

In the course of my anxiety and raising children (mine are now 4 & 7) I think I've actually found more meaning in my life.  But my anxiety is not gone.  I think any trauma, including facing anxiety, forces you to do some soul searching and, obviously, change your life.  The whole ordeal hasn't made me lose my religious faith.  On the contrary I think there is a purpose to my anxiety in that I think it's helping me to grow, to understand myself much better than I ever have before and deepen my faith.  I've never had anything happen in my life where I had to sit back and think about how I was living, handling stressors, treating my body, etc.  So my body decided to send out warning signals (anxiety symptoms) to let me know, in no uncertain terms, that it was time to change.  So here I am. 

One note that might pertain here, my mom has suffered from health anxiety for over 30 years.  It's much, much better for her now than it was in her younger years.  One of her little "sayings" when I call and talk to her about how my anxiety is pretty bad that hour/day/week she'll say: when you can't help yourself, force yourself to go out and help someone else.  You'll all benefit.  If you look at her life you'll see how that's filled her life with meaning.  It's hard to do, but good advice.  I think often having HA we're all too inwardly focused and it's to our detriment.

Finally, I don't know if serotonin imbalance causes HA but I do know that SSRIs can help.  I took Celexa for 9 months and felt great.  Went off it to get pregnant and the anxiety crept back several months later.  Now 2 years later I started back on Celexa 7 weeks ago and I think it's beginning to work.  There is clinical evidence that this may work.  I know of one current study going on being run by a former psychiatrist of mine, Dr Arthur Barsky, director of psychiatric research at Brigham & Women's hospital.  There is at least one person on this board that is participating in the study - run out of Boston & NY.  The study is an NIH funded study investigating the impact of SSRIs on HA.  Half the group gets cognitive behavioral therapy and prozac.  The other half gets just the therapy and a placebo.  You can see the info about it here:  http://www.thehealthstudy.com  and the first video at http://www.thehealthstudy.com/hypo-participate.html shows the psychiatrists talking about what helps hypochondria (including SSRIs)  It will be interesting to see the outcome of the study.

[charlie1]

I agree with a lot of what Ibrickme says in her post above, apart from the meds stuff as I haven't ever taken any, but maybe should consider them

[gridder]

This is a really big question -- a good one. I find when I am really caught up in life (in a good way --) lots of social outlets, work is busy and good, not too much time to ruminate, my HA is a lot better. There is that concept of "flow" where our attention is focused wholly outward on something that gives us a sense of satisfaction. I find it hard to worry about my aches and pains when I am in that state.

In times of transition in my life, when I am not sure whether I am doing what I am supposed to be doing -- when I am questioning my career choices (or lack thereof) or when my son is going through a milestone, I find my HA flares up. I think it is a control thing, and just a boredom of mind thing for me. I can push through some pretty stressful situations, but sometimes have HA waiting for me on the other side, unfortunately.

I would consider a SSRI if they didn't make me gain so much weight. I gained 30# on Zoloft, and I am already 30# overwieght-- not a good scenario. Anyone have luck with one that didn't cause weight gain?

[seoreh]

yes, I do agree, a lot is about control. I also  believe  that if we are fulfilled on an inner spiritual and creative level that we wouldn't give a hoot about what life throws at us and can totally give up control. Those spiritual and creative callings, yearnings and expressions fill a deep need that our soul has, and  when we aren't fulfilling our soul's calling it springs up as neurotic compulsions and obsessions. When I was a more creative person  (and a more spiritual person) before my first panic attack, I felt total faith in the universe. I didn't think about "WHAT IF"... ever.  That being said, I was also a really obsessive person when I was creative, but I had a positive outlet for my nitpicking, detail oriented  need to be perfect. NOw I use my need to zoom in on tiny things and analyze to look at every sensation in my body.

 I am participating in the study you mentioned. I could tell it was not a placebo, I am super sensitive. Gave it up- bad for me.

Lisa
 

[gridder]

There's a good book for anyone interested in this called "Get out of your mind and into your life." While people who write great novels or symphonies or head up non-profits that save the world many have some neuroses, they don't have as much time to think about them as we do!