Being OPEN about GAD

[JJP]

Hey everyone,

Today I had a thought occur to me, and I wanted to get some opinions on it. I thought that I would try being open about my GAD, and tell people about it when I need to. I'm tired of making excuses about why I can't do this or that - blaming it on stomach aches, or fatigue, or headaches. I think it would be a relief to just let the truth out.

Obviously, there is a huge stigma attached to mental illness, and I've even been TOLD that I shouldn't be open about my disorder, but in my mind it seems as if this just perpetuates the problem. I mean, if I remain afraid to reveal it to people, and stay afraid of what they think of me and how they will judge me how will I ever get over the fear that plagues me with everything else?

In the past 3 years that I've suffered with GAD, I've had to miss out on a lot of events with friends and family that I would have loved to have attended if it weren't for the GAD. I know for a fact that some of my friends either think I don't like them, I'm a snob, or I don't want to put in the effort to uphold the friendship. Basically, I'm sick of this. I have nothing but love for my friends and my family and I love to be social and see people. I think I would rather take a risk in them thinking I'm crazy, then have them think I hate them or am avoiding them...

I've seen a LOT of people on this board talk about loneliness and feeling alone... and I feel the same way. A big reason why is because I feel like I fight this problem by myself and feel like no one understands. A lot of people have had a hard time being open about who they are in history (the examples are obvious) and I really feel like mental disorders deserve more serious attention and sympathy. I know it would be hard, but I figure I would really figure out who my true friends are in the end anyway.

And so that's my idea. :) I'm really at the point where I'd just rather take the risk... In the past when I've mentioned it to a very few people, occasionally they would reveal experiences with emotional problems themselves. Maybe there's more of us then we think, but no ones saying anything about it? Any thoughts guys? And thanks for reading. :)

[baileys]

I think you are defiantly doing the right thing in telling people how you feel.
Yea you are going to get some people that wont understand but they are not expected to if they don't suffer themselves, but i bet you will also find a lot of them are sympathetic to your problems and will help you to have more of a life.
You might even find that some of your friends feel the same as you but maybe to a lesser extent.
But always remember that some people are just ignorant and will not even try to understand, so sod them they don't matter.
I wish i had the guts to tell people how i feel. Its not because I'm worried about what people will say its that i have a huge problem saying how i feel about anything.

[dbirm77]

As you share your experiences with people, you will find that everyone has either gone through anxiety and/or depression or knows someone who has. So many people deal with these issues but are hesitant to open up about it because of the stigma associated with these types of things. The truth is....a lot can be gained by simply expressing openly what you are dealing with.
That alone can aid in recovery. I think being open about it can only help the situation.
If certain people can't handle this new information....then they may not be the kind of people we need around us.
Well done.

Good luck,

Drew

[gm5582]

JJP -

I think its great that you are open about your GAD.  I'm a very private person myself, but I've been open about it with my close friends. I found that when I told them, they usually had similar situations or knew people who did.  The people I have confided in with my GAD are the people that help me the most when I'm going through a rough spot.  There are other people that I haven't told, and I figure they don't need to know. If something that I do or don't do offends them, then I can live without them.

Good luck.

[mom12735]

JJP,

Speaking from experience I strongly recommend you open up about your GAD, but only to people you feel appropriate.

I talked to a few trusted friends/colleagues during difficult moments, and it provided relief.

I wouldn't do the same to less trusted friends and co-workers.



And as dbirm77 wrote,

"As you share your experiences with people, you will find that everyone has either gone through anxiety and/or depression or knows someone who has."


This happened to me, twice.

Good luck.

[lilgina]

I'm all for being open and honest but as someone said only to people you know and you trust.  I often make the mistake of wearing my heart on my sleeve and get met with no sympathy or misunderstanding---even with family or in-laws.

I think it's hard for some people to understand the level of suffering anxiety or depression can bring, and how supportive or welcoming caring and kindness can be.

I have unfortunately had to rely only on myself to stay strong and get myself through some pretty tough times----but I've so wished there were someone who really did care.

[JJP]

Thanks everyone! Very good advice. I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve lilgina. Although I want to be more open about it, and I WILL be, I should be selective about who I talk to. It took me a long time to even talk to my family and best friends about it!

[term]

well i probably dont have gad but i do have a very nasty anxiety disorder and i am kinda open about it, its very tough to keep it secret atlist in my case because people wont understand you and judge you harshly because of it. in my limited experience most of the people i confided in were very supportive in the long run and i am not at all regret telling them this.

[genix]

From a supporters point of view:
I would say  pick the people you feel closest to and confide in them, I'm sure they will only want to help and support you through your difficult times.

If my BF ever talked to me about his fears I listened and tried not to be judgemental, and offered rational thoughts & solutions to his whirring mind. Sometimes though I just listened and let him get it out... and offered nothing but my ears. I dont know wether this helped him at all but my thoughts were 'better out than in' and I'm strong enough for both of us if need be.

It is hard to hear some of the thoughts, but hey... I'm sure its 100 times worst for you guys to be actually living it!

If they run away or refuse to accept it then you should question wether you want this type of person in your circle of friends, and lets face it its their loss not yours.

Genix

[Love2Sk8]

I always think that people should be true to themselves and do what feels best for them. So if it feels right to you to be open about GAD, go for it!

For me, I've had anxiety all of my life. I didn't get the "diagnosis" or aha about it until I was 25 years old. Now 15 years later, I've lived so long without telling other people about it, that it would be strange feeling for me to start now. I worry too much about being seen as having a weakness, and since most of the people I interract with are in my competitive work environment, I don't feel like I can talk about this in that environment.

All of that being said, I've seriously contemplated starting a blog to share my personal experiences because I feel I have some things to share and maybe people will read it and get a better understanding of what GAD is like - and maybe they will realize that fully functioning, every day "normal" people live with this every single day and they wouldn't even know it.

Best wishes to you!
Anna
 

[ironmary]

I have shared with a few people over the last year or so that I sometimes suffer from anxiety and when I did I was surprised to learn that people I know also have anxiety or suffered with it in the past!  It felt rather liberating to know that I wasn't the only one.  Of course I knew I wasn't, but it was comforting knowing that some friends also were going through something similar!

[JJP]

I dont know wether this helped him at all but my thoughts were 'better out than in' and I'm strong enough for both of us if need be.

I'm sure it most definitely helped him. My girlfriend has been a saviour to me while going through this. Talking with her for a while always makes me feel better no matter how bad it gets.

All of that being said, I've seriously contemplated starting a blog to share my personal experiences because I feel I have some things to share and maybe people will read it and get a better understanding of what GAD is like - and maybe they will realize that fully functioning, every day "normal" people live with this every single day and they wouldn't even know it. 

That's funny that you mention that, because I had the exact same thought of creating a blog after writing this topic. I really want more people to understand that having anxiety doesn't mean you're "crazy," even though the symptoms are severe sometimes. But, I guess we could also try to do that on a one to one basis too right. :)

I have shared with a few people over the last year or so that I sometimes suffer from anxiety and when I did I was surprised to learn that people I know also have anxiety or suffered with it in the past!

This has happened to me a couple of times too with the very few people I've talked to about it already. It's such a good feeling to know there are others. :)