could use some advice

[anxious_life]

I'm 21, 22 in June. Currently I am not in school any longer, nor am I working. "Why?" you may ask...I wish I could answer you. My whole life I've had such anxious thoughts flowing through my mind, never got help for it never really made a big deal to anyone about it, other than when I had bad panic attacks, which thankfully hasn't happened in a while now. I feel scared, and even more so unmotivated to even do anything. The basis of living my life feeling anxious about people judging me from appearance to personality, I hate big groups. I hate being in a big group and being hot, I hate being at a party where I don't know many people. I force myself to go anyway as often as I can handle, but I just don't feel it healthy to continue living my life like this.

It's almost as if I know EXACTLY what I'm not doing, and what I SHOULD be doing...but something up in my crazy storm of a noggin doesn't click. I hate it..having people close to me know I'm so unmotivated to work or too scared to do that or go back to school. My HS didn't give me my diploma because I had 1 out of 2 years of foreign language, the only HS on the northeast that required more than one year of language to graduate, though I had sufficient credits to do so. I hate that people know this about me, but even more so that I am not doing anything to change it.

I wish that I could just wake up and feel happy, and ready to face whatever the world throws at me, and I'm sure a million other people do too. The difference is that they can do it, and I can too. I just choose not to subconsciously almost. I guess maybe I am just looking for some advice..I NEED to start moving forward in my life, and making some money.

[abeja_reina_1989]

Honestly, the fact that you're discussing this with us and that you've come to this site proves a lot. You should really be proud of yourself for that part!! I know anxiety is tough, I deal with it every day of my life, but in time you can learn to work with it. I know that sounds like no fun ... but sometimes you must force yourself to do things (like you mentioned you have). The more exposure you have to the things that scare you, the better. By letting the anxiety take control, you're letting it win.. letting it feed off your fear and "grow" stronger.

You may want to start by talking to your doctor. That's what I did. They'll be able to point u in the right direction :)

For me, I needed therapy, which sounds scary, I'm sure but it helped a lot. Therapy taught me to open up and talk with those who love me. Before, I was trying to hold everything in. I've also been put on Citalopram 10mg a day.. which has been wonderful. I feel normal again.. I feel free.. I can live my life. Sure, I have those slip ups from time to time but it has saved my life.

Also, reading books on anxiety to learn why my brain was acting the way it was helped me a lot. I would recommend the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook if you're into that kind of thing.

I hope that helps!

If you ever need to talk, message me anytime. I try to read my messages often.

Best of luck to you

[sixpack]

I'm locking this because it is a double post.  If you would like to reply, you can do so on the post in the Intro folder.