A Strange Story.....

[X Fire]

I developed some kind of social anxiety at about age 12-13, it screwed me up big time, and led to depression. Plus most kids at that age only make things worse, my life has pretty much sucked, until recently, (now 19), and the only reason im happy now is because I have found inner peace to a degree, But it was close as I easily could be dead right now I'm pretty lucky in a few ways. Anyway while I still feel the presence of anxiety, I don't let it bother me (very much), to TRY TO IGNORE IT will only make it worse, you have to accept it. At least thats the only way I could overcome it.  I also have a touch of OCD, but not enough to really bother me...but if I had tried to ignore I feel like it would have been.

The way I overcame anxiety was to not take any medications (as I didnt like the way any made me feel, but im not telling anyone to stop any if they are as that can be bad) and just basically keep to myself (other than a few regular things), and by sheer force of will over a number of years feel that I have permantly overcome the majority of it, now if anyone thinking (assuming someone reads this lol)  I many relapse, I can say with true confidence thats not going to happen, simply because I have slowly..slowly gotten better and not once have gone back enough to matter only forward, and it has been so slow that if I wnet back at all it would not be enough to make a difference, while it sometimes is still a struggle, I know over time it will become less and less of one. Unforuntaly it has had a toll on my life, and im pretty lonely right now.....you could say im in a dark place, peaceful but verk dark........this is because of well not social anxiety forsay but the situation I have been put it because of it. I'm working on rebuliding....more like buliding a life for myself now, because I never really had one before.

I have no regrets, only sorrow, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I don't know where I will end up, but I will never forget things that have happend I don't often make the same mistake twice, the main reason  I have no regrets lays in the fact I like the person I am right now, and know I probably would not be the same person if this had not happened to me, I don't really know who I would be but it doesn't matter, as I have no control over that anyway. but I would not go so far as to say that I would do it again, I would wish that on no one, even someone who deserved it. I still have a deal of problems but I can now feel free, and peaceful.

I don't know why I'm posting this but if it helps anyone in any way I feel it was worth it. If anyone wants to ask me anything feel free, but I dont know how long I will be here....may be long may be short haven't decided, anyway don't think I dont have issues or I am not ****ed up...because I am...but I have found a sort of peace I will not soon lose...its something you have to experience for yourself. 

[X Fire]

and why is there a goose like animal at the top of the page? Kind of a nice touch though........also I wonder are the large amount of views and not posts in topics because of the nature of this site (think about it), or because of low traffic....or is it beacause of both? or does no one know? 

[lt33]

Hi,

Good to know about your inner peace. I didn't get the part in which you say you're unsure you'll be here for long. Is everything ok? Hope so, do tell us how you are.

[jay1234]

Hey,

Thanks for posting I am going through some sort of social anxiety right now and i am the same age as you and I found your story inspiring, so it was well worth posting.  Id love to hear more detail on your belief that it is best not to ignore it or any other advice you got.  I can relate to you not having any regrets, as even though I have a fair amount of anxiety and can struggle in certain social situations I am happy with who I am as a person inside, i just struggle with caring too much how people see me.  I also feel that going through this has made me more compassionate towards people with problems.  Take it easy.

Jay

[jay1234]

one more thing, with regards to you saying your lonely, if you ever need someone to talk to I am here for ya, its always good to have someone to talk to and were all in this together.