not sure if this is the right place to put this

[sparkling]

I'm 16, and just entering into my second semester of my junior year in high school. I'm currently on the medication prozac and have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression since age 12.

In mid November I took the driving portion of my driver's test and failed. My driver's ed teacher and parents were all impressed with how well I parallel parked, but once I got on the course it was a whole different story. The parallel parking was first, and to make a long story short I freaked out and ran out of time. I was so out of it I can't even remember what happened. In Maryland, if you fail, the test giver asks you to get out of the car and get into the passenger seat and he drives out of the course. I already have my learner's permit, so they have deemed me responsible to drive on the roads with my parents in the passenger side, but I'm too dangerous to drive around a closed course with no cars. The whole day after I failed I couldn't stop crying. I felt humiliated, and like a failure. Everyone waiting in line to take theirs knew I failed, and saw how poorly I did. I had to come home to my exited friends and family saying "Did you get it?! Did you pass?!" and let them down.

Ever since then my life has gone down hill. I'm so scared of driving a car, I can't even get into the driver's seat without bawling. I feel like everyones out to get me at the DMV. No matter how much I hate thinking about it I just can't stop. The littlest things can set off my thoughts. I just start thinking about how if I can't pass this, I can never be able to get a good score on the SAT, get a job, get into a good college, and succeed in life. I know its really irrational, but it's what I believe sometimes. I think its partially a being scared of the future kind of thing.

I just wish that someone could understand that its more than just nerves. Everyone's had the completely wrong thing to say. Even in anxiety chat rooms I've been blown off as an over-exaggerating teenager. "Oh well I failed 5 times it can't be that bad." "How could you fail the space is so big?" Everyone wants to know when I'll take the test again, and I truly believe that I'll never be able to pass in my condition.

I really have no where to go at this point. I have no solution. Even if you guys can't solve my problem, just a few words of support could really help me right now.

Thank you.

[Kathie]

Hi Sparkling

Well I'm impressed that you're worried about you future!  You are going to run into people all the time with bad attitudes, they're not worth it.  Don't let anyone make you feel bad like that.  It must have been very humiliating.  It's very normal to be  in life.  I'm an adult, have been for a long time and even I sometimes question myself in the face of a situation like that.  Don't worry so much about taking the test again but tell yourself you can do anything, the rest will follow.  Drivers tests are darn scary! 
Anyway not sure if any of that helped but you'll be ok.  Like they say "Pick yourself up, dust your self off and walk off the stage with your head high, a great lady". 

Take care, Kathie

[itsmeesindee]

Please try not to be so hard on yourself.  I driving test is very stressful.  Don't feel rushed to take the test again.  Take some time to build up your confidence again driving with your parents. Don't listen to those negative people, you will do just fine when you are ready. 

Do you know any breathing relaxation techniques.  Basically you breath with your belly instead of your chest.  Take a deep break expanding your belly for 5 sec hold it for 5 sec and release fully for 5 sec.  You can try this to help you calm down before driving or taking the test.  Breathing like this actually helps the body release some chemicals in the brain that help relax you.

Best of luck, let us know how you are doing.

Cin

[apple]

Sparkling

Have you ever talked with your doctor about an anti-anxiety med, that you can take when you are having a bad anxiety med?  (eg. xanax, ativan, clonazepam)  I take clonazepam only when I need it, or when I'm heading into a situation that I know I'll have an attack.

I totally understand your feelings about your divers test.  I failed my first time and I caied and cried.  I felt so incompetant.  Remember that when you drive any other time, you are more realxed.  However having a stranger marking looking for all your faults is very nerve racking.  Had you been alone, I bet you would have done just fine...after all the parrallel parking is the most difficult part, and you aced that.  Confidence grows the more often you do something. 

I dont know the right thing to say to you to make you feel better.  all I know is that when I was younger, and I failed a test of any kind it made me feel like you feel right now.  I left grade 9 with 98% in math and science, and in Grade 10 I dropped into the 50's and 60's. I was soo upset and dissapointed in myself I started taking easier courses.  The harder courses were the ones that got people into university and I didnt take them.  I sold myself short because I didnt keep trying, I gave up on myself because of feeling inadequate over 2 marks.  I sure wish I had the strength back then to get thru.  I wish I cuold have seen that mistakes didnt mean I was not good enough, but rather that I was just inexperienced.  Practice makes perfect right. too bad for me.

Please dont sell yourself short.  You were nervous not inadequate.

please take care.

[sparkling]

It's helped me to hear what you've all had to say. I've had some time to clear my head and put things in perspective and I feel better about the situation, even though I know it's going to be hard for me. I've been thinking about an herbal supplement for my nerves before the test. My worries with prescription medications is that it would affect my driving. Thank you all for your input and I look forward to becoming more familiar with the forum.

[comeasyouare]

when I  opened this post I got really excited that someone my age felt the same way about driving as I do( embarasing, I know), I'm 16 and have had anxiety and depression since I was a kid. When I first got my permit I was so excited until I realized how anxious I got driving. Most of the time I would start cry or have a panic attack or both. It was so bad I hated driving and constantly avoided it. What worked for me is, I started driving in a parking lot, then eventually started driving on really small side streets that I drove on all the time, till eventually I could drive on main streets and feel comforatble. I wouldnt recomend driving when you are axious or upset or dont feel you can concentrate, and dont drive with people that stress you out, thats the mistake I made. the one thing I have to remember is its JUST driving, adults tell me constantly "driving is a serious matter!" which it is and ofcourse we have to be cousous blah blah blah, but in reality, it just takes some getting use to, and practice makes perfect, right? And dont worry that you didnt pass the test,the way i see it, we have the rest of our lives to drive, a couple moths wont make that much of a diffrence. P.S.= sorry this message is so long