I see a pattern. Morning anxiety plus anticipatory anxiety.. Advice or opinions?

[Warbirdwf]

They say anxiety is excessive stress and bad or negative thoughts. I've been keeping a journal for 4 months now. My pattern shows me that anytime I have things out of the ordinary from my normal routine, it can cause additional stress and I get increased anxiety. If I do my usual routine of work, go home and relax, I'm fine. I'm single and live alone after a divorce 2 years ago and haven't dated in months due to this anxiety episode. Needless to say, other than the occasional round of golf, or when I have my two kids, I spend a lot of time alone. I have my kids every other weekend. I love them to death and know that guilt of putting them through the divorce is continuing to fuel some of my anxiety. I always worry about what I'm going to do to entertain them for the weekend. This in itself, causes me stress/anxiety.

I'm just curious as to what works for others in regards to anticipatory anxiety? It's one of my biggest issues that continues my high anxiety. I worry too much about an upcoming event (negative thoughts or worries) and thus, I get increased anxiety. I know I tend to have a skeptical/cynical view on things. Example, recently, I was talking with a co-worker about flying in a helicopter. He was totally excited while I commented on what would happen if the only pilot had a heart attack? He called me out on my negative thinking and I appreciated it.

I've had about 7 really good days until this past Saturday. Then, I started to have morning anxiety after being up for an hour. It would calm down as the morning went on but then yesterday, I had a panic attack (luckily, I don't have a racing heart). I just could feel the addreniline running, yuky, gloomy thoughts, etc. It cleared up after an hour but it's tough on my confidence when I've had the past week where I almost felt normal again.
Thanks for reading this and I love to hear any advice or thoughts. :)

[dbirm77]

Anticipatory anxiety is a tough one.
It is typically far worse than the actual anxiety you get once at the party, meeting, get together etc.
Anxiety lives in the future.
It cannot live in the here and now.
If we are able to concentrate and stay focused on right here, right now....anxiety cannot bother us.

I try and not think about upcoming events too far in advance because I know I tend to over analyze them.
I work very hard at being present in whatever I am doing at this moment.
If you can practice staying in the "now", anxiety has no choice but to leave you be.

Good Luck,

Drew

[Warbirdwf]

You make some great points Drew, thanks! As much as I've read about anxiety, I've never thought about how much worse the anticipatory anxiety is verses our anxiety at the event. Depending on my anxiety level, I usually feel better at the event vs. the time before it. There are some times though that my anxiety stays elevated and I just don't relax.
I've never thought of anxiety as in living in the future although it makes perfect sense to me. I think my anxiety is continuing due to my worry about my future, the guilt I feel about my kids going thru the divorce and not seeing them everyday and not looking forward to dating again, if and when my anxiety calms down. Again, re-reading this statement tells me where my negative thinking is. I'm also still somewhat anxious this morning too.

[fatcharlie]

This is exactly the type of thing that always exacerbates my GAD. I found that trying to use CBT on the anticipatory helps in the short run, but the only thing that got rid of it was my body settling down from the normal anxiety I was having at the time. For example, when I was in my anxiety state, I had to go to my moms every other day after work to walk her dog because she had broken her foot. Now there was no reason on earth to fear doing this, but the anticipatory anxiety just fueled the anxiety I was already having. I would use CBT and breathing exercises to help me in the moment but the anticipatory anxiety didn't go away until my anxiety state got better. That's probably not a reassuring story, but for me, that was my experience.

[Warbirdwf]

Charlie-

No, you reply was honest and correct. It good to hear that your anxiety state returned to normal. The anticipatory anxiety is worse due to already being in a high anxiety state. Even non-anxious folks have anticipatory anxiety but it's at a much, much lower level.

Hopefully soon, I will also return full time to my pre-anxiety state!

[Pipster80]

I feel my anxiety is the same - anticipation.... at a high level prior to something.
It used to be large events or social dos, now it has spread to something as simple as going into a shop.
Its frustrating as I am fine once I am there doing something, but the lead up rattles me.
My body feels like its constantly on edge, adrenalin pumping, heart racing and tight stomach etc.
Not much fun. Have started on Lovan/fluxoteine as of 2 weeks ago. Have not noticed any improvements yet.
Fingers crossed it works....   

[Jlo1019]

Mark my words, I hate anticipatory anxiety.  It’s by far the worst.  I don’t know if you do this, but I always worry my thoughts are premonitions!  I get nervous/anxious and then start to think its because I know something bad is going to happen.  Even if it’s a passing thought.  My morning anxiety is the worst.  I always wake up with racing thoughts and then that starts my anxiety in overdrive. 

My only advice is to talk logically (CBT) through it.  Just remind yourself its feelings, not actual events happening.  I try to remind myself that I have anxiety, not ESP.  It helps to read these types of posts though because it reminds me other people suffer and not everyone has ESP.  Okay, actually I do think everyone has ESP, but I digress…  ;)  For the most part, I believe people have anxiety and not ESP and by means of deduction, these posts help me find sense in the senseless. 

I hope yours gets better. Divorce can be hard on everyone involved. I hope your situational anxiety calms down after the effects of the family change calm down.

[ferdricko1]

Congrats to you on identifying some of the patterns in your anxiety!  Use it to your advantage!  I haven't read through the other posts, so I might be saying this again, but for what my 2 cents is worth, I try to think about anything else than the upcoming event.  That works about 30% of the time, but at least it is better than 0%.  Good luck!