PTSD I feel so lost.

[jennifersmiles]

I have been diagnosed with PTSD several times from different events. childhood emotional and physical abuse, adult emotional abuse, and from watching a man who I grew up with die in my arms after a horrible wreck. What sticks with me today, is being sick. I had a bad reaction to an antibiotic that almost killed me. I had to be on prednisone for three weeks. During this time I had a reaction to the prednisone which resulted drug induced psychosis. After stopping the medication it went away but now I have a real fear of taking any medication. It stinks. Then on top of that two months later I got strep throat and now six months later I still have it. My doctors have referred me to infectious disease. During this time I have been researching on the net as much as I can. My boyfriend told me today I need to take more medication for my anxiety as I am very worried all the time that I will never get better. He has told me that all I talk about is being sick. Now I remind you this is not in my head I have had numerous cultures of my throat and they all come back pos for strep. I have been really sick. I just have a hard time thinking of anything else as I have been sick for so long. I do not know what to do any more. I only have a few friends and my BF is my best friend. I tell him everything. I am beginning  to wonder if I should just not talk to him about my health issues any more. Should I just keep it to my self. I feel so lost. I do not know what to do any more. Any advise?

J

[winduptoy]

I'm sorry you've been going through such a hard time. My advice would be not to bottle it all in. I would be open and honest with your BF about how you are feeling. Are you seeing a therapist or a counselor? Maybe you need to air some of your fears and worries with a psychologist who can guide you with the issues you are facing. My partner gets sick of hearing about my illness' all the time so I have to try and take a step back at times and just sit with my thoughts and emotions to give her a break.