Help Please

[pinky]

Hi Im vicki
at the moment im going throught a bad time i have conviced myself im dieing and i cant snap out of it. I have always been a worryer i spose. I cant seem to relax i have to constantly keep moving even when sitting moving my leg . I get very scared all the time . Im a mother of four children and i dont want to die how do you tell your children you are dieing, i dont have any friends and all i seem to do is sit and think i cant stop myself then i get a lump in my throut and it feels like my tongue as swollen up then i get really scared. I would just like some one to tell me im ok. i have alot of panick attackes and twitching every thing that goes wrong with me i feel its not going to be long now. i worry alot of the time and get myself into a state i just want to feel normel, like the people i see walking on the street the moms on the play ground i just want to be like them. sorry for rabbit on but i feel if i dont talk to some one im going to loose the plot. I cant see a futore you no people say i'll do this in the summer and this next year i dont see me being here i cant see the future.
vicki

[apple]

I get this as well, I have 2 children.  I was doing very well on a medication and behaviour therapy. then the side effects of this medication caused another big problem with my health so I had to go off.  My psyciatrist put me on a similar drug and it screwed me up so bad I couldn't walk I was so weak...he lowered the dose and it didn't help. I called his office on thursday and told his secretary how bad I was still doing,.. now here I am tuesday feeling like my husband can handle things without me, my kids are taking care of themselves, even though I am here for the important things, I hate how I feel, I know the meds threw me for a loup and I'm just having an episode...but I am tired of this.

I feel like I'm useless......

[pinky]

Hi again
Its vicki just wanted to ask do you get syptoms of illnesses or is it just me i dont want to die and leave my kids im all they have and i dont no what i would do. People keep trying to tell me to snap out of it but i cant i have it in my head that im dieing. The thought of not seeing my kids again scares me really really bad i look at them and i think i wont see you grow up and see um get married and see your children. im just so terrified.
vicki

[apple]

YES definately... it is hard to know if its symptoms of my anxiety or it there really is a health issue. The only way to know for sure is seeing a doctor YOU CAN TRUST but who also TRUSTS YOU.

 I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!!

I don't want to live like this, I too don't want to be away from my kids, ...I just want to be the mom I know I am...the energetic happy one...I do have these days, I just wish they happened more often.

I'm no doctor and there may be anouther health issue affecting you...however even people who do have major health issues don't fear when it will happen and enjoy each day they get.

Sounds more like the anxiety is so bad that because of it, depression  is likely, thats how I feel..
I know This will pass eventually I just want it to happen right now.

I'm seeing my doctor today and telling him everything..Hopefully he can help me get back on track.

You are posting here...and that says you CAN get through this, keep fighting and keep looking for help

[tanya]

vicki
what was it that triggered these thoughts. maybe the answer lies there. i to convinced myself of the same thing and when i look back there was a day that i did alot of thinking. i came up with the what if question then i thoought omg i might die, then i thought 0534 do i think im going to,  then i thought i am going to cause i wouldnt of thought this if there wasnt some truth to it. i got caught in a real circl. now i realize its irrational thoughts . i get them back when i here certain things like next year or stuff like that. i think i have become hypervigilant to everyword everyone says and i take out the words that i can turn into something. for example  dropping my son at kindy we were told that they have special books that they work on and will get them as akeepsake ,i think i hope im here then i think omg i am still thinking im going to dye  this goes on and on
i want it to stop to but feeding it is the worst thing to do. its hard to do but the negative cycle needs to be stopped i am trying i hope you can to
tanya

[andy]

I'm new on this forum  and I reading all of you posts.....I just want you to know that there is hope. I am only 19 but I have been where you guys have been...hopeless and wondering where my life is going and if i will ever "snap out of it." My mom has anxiety and so does my brother so from the time I was about 14 my mom knew I was showing symptons. But it took until earlier this school year when I had an attack and it really freaked me out and I couldnt deal with it on my own anymore. I went to a phsyciatrist and he explained to me how anxiety is a chemical embalance that I can help, so I started trying all kinds of medications and I was sick for about two months straight. My doctor was really helpful though and finally Im on the right stuff. It was totally worth it. I am such a happy, productive person now and I only get as anxious as I can handle. So dont give up you guys. Im sure you have wonderful children that are counting on you and you guys can pull through it. Its just a bump in the road. And any irrational thoughts you, just remember that its not you, its not reality, its the anxiety.

-Andrea