Sexual Fears and Thoughts

[AnxiousTeenager17]

Hello.

I am a 17 year old female. For about 6 months I have been having these awful thoughts about being a homosexual. I have always been straight and have had plenty of boyfriends. But right out of the blue one day I started worrying that I might be gay. The feelings I had for a guy went and all these thoughts about kissing a girl popped into my head. These ideas are disgusting. I can't even look at a girl without worrying "what if i am attracted to her?" I try not to think about them but they always keep popping into my head. I constantly look up online the difference between being gay and having what they call "h ocd" to reassure myself that i am not gay. Any advice would be helpful because these thoughts are driving me crazy.

I have a boyfriend and I do get aroused by him but these thoughts just keep popping up in my mind

[Butterscotch]

It may just be OCD have you considered talking to someone?

[AnxiousTeenager17]

ive thought about it...i jsut need to get the nerve to call up a counselor

[eduk8or]

Fearing that you are gay is actually a very common OCD thought.  Every book I've read on OCD has this fear in it.  You might want to check out some books from the public library and read about it...

[AnxiousTeenager17]

Thank you for the advice. its much needed

[Daisy131]

i agree with the above post about the books- there is a great one for those who have pure o- which is where thoughts are super disturbing, but the compulsions are more reassurance seeking. very much what you do- you have a random thought that really really upsets you, so you google it or look it up online to make sure you are not tied to that thought, or that thought makes you "you."

the book is called "imp of the mind". it is FANTASTIC. it might be hard for you to read though, because some of the thoughts in there are very disturbing.

and please remember- EVERYONE has thoughts that are totally out of their character. a lot of it is how you react to them. people with anxiety/pure o/OCD just pay more attention to them, so it freaks them out. the intrusive thoughts usually go away when the anxiety and/or depression decreases.

another thing to remember, and it explains it in this book. the people who have thoughts like these (homosexual thoughts, religious blasphemous thoughts, violent thoughts) and get scared by them and start obsessing over them are the ones who are LEAST LIKELY to act on them.