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Author Topic: attraction  (Read 1476 times)

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Offline soundofaghost

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attraction
« on: March 24, 2010, 04:56:05 PM »
so, how's everyone's love life going? or even life in general? but, i would really just want to know how everyone here responds to others you're attracted to. i just always want to punch myself in the face when i become too afraid to talk to someone, especially when it comes to guys. i feel like i've missed some opportunities where i could have gotten to know some nice guys and get into a relationship. but then my fear always seems to get in the way. like today, there's this guy who lives near me. i had the feeling he's liked me for a while and he's come up to talk to me before but i can never go up to talk to him. i just don't know why i can't, i mean he's had the courage to talk to me but i just can't seem to talk to him. have you guys ever had that happen?
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Offline sixpack

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Re: attraction
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2010, 05:03:08 PM »
sure.  it is tough sometimes approaching the opposit sex. 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline RobertWiggins

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Re: attraction
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2010, 08:52:48 PM »
It happens to everyone. Just go for it.

Even if you don't know what to say... Eventually you'll get it right!

I personally love it if/when girls come up and initiate conversation with me.
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Offline freedish

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Re: attraction
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2010, 02:55:41 AM »
have I ever had that happen? are you kidding me??? :action-smiley-065: i've spent half my life afraid to talk to girls i find attractive. I have no idea why. And it's not that i'm afraid of them rejecting me.

I'm decent looking and there was a time where i could but it's almost not worth it for me because of how nervous it makes me. When I'm talking to them I always get the feeling like I'm making a huge idiot out of myself- go figure.   ;D

If you are able to muster up the courage, go for it. What's the worst that could happen? (easy for me to say :laugh3:)
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Offline thinker247

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Re: attraction
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2010, 06:39:11 PM »
Hey Sound, I totally understand what you are going through. I used to think that I had issues with intimacy, but recently I found out from my psychiatrist that I may have social anxiety. That would definitely affect your confidence with the opposite sex. I haven't dated since I started having symptoms of anxiety (since high school). It has really sucked. I tried just toughing it out and exposing myself and just asking but that just ended up making me even more...confused and frustrated. To be honest, in my situation, I think that I will not get over this until I can control my symptoms. I have just started taking lexapro today, because, quite honestly, I am sick of watching my friends get all the girls they want while I cower in fear at every opportunity. I have decided to level the playing field for myself. Hope this helps. 
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Offline Born Again

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Re: attraction
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2010, 02:21:25 PM »
This is one of the area's where I have been most effected...relationships in general, and public speaking too. I'm 23, I think Im somewhat good looking, but have never really had a serious relationship and have never been in a relationship for more then a month. I seemed to do better when I was younger, like 14 and 15 then I do now...possibly because my anxiety is progressively getting worse.

I feel your pain ghost, but I think the best thing for people like us to do is be patient, don't put pressure on ourselves, and continue to get to the root of our problems whether it be through therapy, taking meds, or whatever.
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Offline msaurabh

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Re: attraction
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2014, 11:08:41 AM »
its a very common phase in everybodys life. just gather courage and go for it. things will become fine for sure
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Offline anxiousartist

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Re: attraction
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2014, 08:10:23 PM »
I think most guys like it when they're approached by the opposite sex. I do.

 If I guy does act weird though, he's probably worried about coming off like a creep.
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Offline Lolita Cruz

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Re: attraction
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2014, 12:34:51 PM »
I get particularly anxious around guys and even more anxious around guys I find attractive. A good-looking guy can literally render me speechless. This has happened quite a few times. He'll ask "hi, how are you?" I'll just go blank and stare at him with a stupid smile on my face. Then I'll force myself to stop looking at him (I have a problem with staring a bit too long too) and chastise myself in my head for acting like such an idiot. I find a lot of guys attractive and it's like torture. Why? Because none of them are attracted to me. Then again, I'm not attractive so...can't really blame 'em haha
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Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase. -Martin Luther King Jr.

Offline Petioptrv

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Re: attraction
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2014, 11:59:53 PM »
Yeah, same problem here when approaching girls. I am able to be aloof with girls I am not attracted to, but I become extra shy when I see someone that I really like. It is widely believed that facing your fear is helpful, and most of the time it is true, but I find that it sometimes can do more harm than good. I started meditating recently and I find that it really helps me understand the mechanics of the anxiety a lot better. Prior to this I was not even able to notice what exactly is happening. Having seriously started meditation only recently, this is not to say that I have totally fixed the problem, but I am hoping it is a step in the right direction.
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Offline Audreyisblue

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Re: attraction
« Reply #10 on: June 18, 2014, 12:15:33 AM »


The difficult part for me in a relationship is to open up to the guy. Like im so insecure and shy and that i can't take a guy seriously if he's interested in me. Like i think he's crazy to be attracted to me or wanting to know more about me and my interests.

im just so lonely at the end
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Offline AfternoonRose

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Re: attraction
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2014, 10:27:23 PM »
i just don't know why i can't, i mean he's had the courage to talk to me but i just can't seem to talk to him.

You're scared of rejection, even in the case where it is the other person approaching you. You doubt your communication skills and ability to socialize efficiently with someone so much that you are convinced that you will end up doing/saying something stupid that will cause the other person to lose interest. So you shell up and refuse to talk to people to avoid such an embarassment. Defense mechanism.

Some day soon though someone will approach you and see you for the cool person that you truly are. In the meantime, do practice your social skills ;)
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