Really Struggling

[JunoX]

Im trying to keep it together but its very difficult. I seem to be going on an up and down roller coaster right now with my GAD. Im in a therapy and its been helping but I still feel the symptoms of course.

Im again worried about my relocation and house sale. The real estate agent has been so kind and always looking out of me. The thing is that we have an offer on the house already and we just signed a contract. This makes the "moving" real to me now. Its not some elusive idea, this is the real McCoy.


Ive been very irratable and Im having second thoughts about the whole thing. Me and my husband have been bickering constantly and even have had some loud arguments. I feel like Ive made him my enemy in my own mind and Im not sure why because at one time I wanted this move so I dont know why I feel like Im backing away from it now and Im actually blaming him for having been so passionate about this move. Sometimes Ive been thinking like I might even tell him I want a divorce because I feel like if he left me alone, I could just stay here without these problems.

Im depressed.

[daisyjukes]

Its normal to be anxious about moving house.  I would write a list of why you wanted to do it in the first place and maybe you can focus on that we you feel anxious.

Your feelings towards your husband are just being clouded by your anxiety.  I wouldn't make any decisions when you feel so bad.  Have you discussed this issue in your therapy?  Could they help you gain a new perspective on it? suggest ways for you and your hubby to communicate without arguing?

Daisy

[JunoX]

Thank you for the reply.

Basically we want a larger home, that was the reason for wanting the move in the first place but to have a larger home, we have to buy one away from the big city. Right now Im in Miami and I dont know how I feel about living in a smaller city. I really love this area but at the same time, I really love the idea of a larger home. Its like Im riding the fence because I dont want to give up either, the location or the larger home, even though I cant have both. As the move draws nearer, Im scared that I will regret this move more than anything. Im scared I wont adapt to the new location and I feel saddened that Ill be away from my family and friends.

I have talked about in therapy but not about this particular feeling Im having now since we went into contract this week and thats when I started feeling this way.

My anxiety always causes these types of feelings in me, everytime I venture something, I go through the same thing. I hate GAD.

[Thejapster]

Hey 0115,

Ive read a few of your post about selling your house etc

You really seam like you have alot of doubt and when you have that much doubt are you sure this is the right thing for you to do?
sure your not being pressured into it?
anytime your moving away from your family and friends i have learn if you have any doubts deep down you usually dont wanna move


Just my 2 sense

wish you the best!

[Chunky]

We moved a few years ago because we needed a bigger house, in a better neighborhood, and it is SO stressful!!  I think what you're going through is completely normal.  The whole loan process, selling your home, it's a lot of pressure even for someone who doesn't have a problem w/ anxiety.  If you have a contract on your house, you're halfway there.  You've made it this far.  Just take it one step at a time.  Remember when you made the decision to move you were probably thinking more clearly than you are now.  I think you should trust that decision and trust that you're doing the right thing.  I'm so much happier now that we've moved.  Good luck, I've read a few of your posts too and I really sympathize; I hate moving and my husband is already getting restless again!  It's hardly been three years! 

[JunoX]

I wasnt pressured into this move though I would like to think that in order to justify by anxiety. The fact of the matter is that Ive been just has excited about this move as my husband has been until now. I knew that the move and relocation would work a number on my anxiety but I never thought it would be this bad.

I think the worse is over though. I just realized something. This isnt about the move, this is about me. Im making myself anxious. Im making myself depressed. If you continue thinking that the worse catastrophies on earth are about to happen to you, wouldnt you also be depressed? Its all in my head, its all about my thinking. My husband is happy about this move, my friends are happy about this move, everyone is enouraging and excited. Ive been to the new city before and I loved it. I totally fell in love with it. All of the fears that I keep drilling into my head are all created by my head.

I know because Ive had these same fears about where Im at right now. I just went to a forum of people that are relocating into that same city Im going to and everyone is excited, happy, and elated at their new life. Not one of them mentioned the fears that I have. Not a single soul. This was an eye opening experience for me. Im the problem. Im the one that has to change.

[Rixx]

I moved over 1,000 miles each time (8 times ) in 11 years and we remodeled many of the homes. Family illness kept bringing us back.

That stopped in 2005 but I believe that is what put me into a 3 year breakdown I am still in.