i need help

[WhyAmIHere?]

the past few years of my life have been hard , 4 years ago i found out my wife and my brother had an affair , my wife and I have 3 beautiful children so i forgave her and we worked threw it .
then 2 years ago i found out that her and my (so i thought) best freind had been having an affair for the last 2 years, now that one hurt alot the hole time we where working threw and going to counseling for her and my brother they where screwing behind my back...
so at that point i had already lost my brother and my best freind i didnt really want to lose my wife to, she seamed to be sorry and i beleived that she got it out of her system so mayby our relationship is salvagable .
so it was hard but we got threw it . last year i got very lucky and landed an amazing job with a good company so we went and bought a nice house renewed our vows and started saving for our kids education a few days ago i stumbled across a message archive in our computer , it was full of messages from her to i couldnt even count how many differant guys setting up sex dates..
i , of course confronted her about it and she denided it after she realized I had seen some of the messages she said that she was drunk and couldnt remember writing them but she said that she knowes that she didnt sleep with any of them so then i showed her one of the messages that she said she had a good time with the person so she confessed to that one and said she didnt follow through with any of the rest.
I told her that i wanted a devorce, than she reminded me that i am a truck driver and because im on the road from time to time that the judge will give her custody of our kids and that she will get the house and push for allamony and child support.
so now i have nothing, the great job that i got is on the verge of firing me because my head is so messed up that its affecting my work..
my wife has slept with everyone i know and pretty much i have to accept it because if i dont she will take my kids from me.
i dont know what to do, i have no one to turn to for any thing . i dont see any way to get past this one .
my life is ruind i have no freinds , no family and im about to lose my job, all i can think about is a way to end the pain, the only thing i could come up with is 0119.
what els could i do?
why is god putting me through all this?
i never cheated on her in our 12 years togather
please some one help me

 

[sixpack]

What a truly awful thing you've been through.  I don't know how you are still standing frankly.  You have my sympathies.

Now having said that---it seems she is simply a liar.  It seems unlikely she is going to change and really be a wife to you.   I understand she is threatening you about your kids but it seems a judge would definitely look at fidelity issues regarding custody.  If it were me, I would divorce her.

I'm sorry I don't have anything better than a shoulder for you right now. 



BTW--this is more a relationship question so I'm going to move it to that folder.  You may also get some more responses there. 

[emma_lou]

oh my goodness you poor thing, my heart really goes out to you

First things first, can you take a holiday from work? next thing, sound like you are probably depressed, esp if you think of 0119? Can you contact a doctor for some help?

This sounds like an utterly awful experience.  I would print off all the things you saw on her email asap.  I would go through with the divorce and have these things to hand, so the judge can see she was indeed unfaithful.

I hope you can work things out for you, not for her, you sound a lovely forgiving man who wanted to get help to keep the marriage together, you kept your end of the bargain, your wife didnt keep hers

hugs x

[Sabatical]

My goodness, She just keeps walking all over you
Then threatening that because if your job she would have full custody of your children and your house?
There are 2 sides to every story and the judge will know why you chose divorce.
This is just unfair and you are being bullied!
You deserve to be treated like a human being!
I hope things work out for you, my heart goes out to you I can't even imagine the pain.
*huge hugs*

[OnTheEdge]

These boots are made for walking...and thats just what they'll do
and one fo these days these boots will walk all over you


anyone else remember that song, it comes to midn while reading this...

honestly, for the sake of your job, get to a doc and explain your troubles,worries,issues and stress...maybe consider medication that will help you get through this severly emotional time for you
i've been through something similar my friend,i know all to well the type of pain you are feeling and the 0103 your going through
you need to vent...do it here....talk about it, get advice...listen to others...but get it all out...dont hold it in because it brought me close to 0119.
seriously, xanax and wellbutrin probably saved my life....but everyone is different man.

you have children to consider though....i cant offer any advice in that area man, i wish i could..i dont have kids and dont know what i would do in your case, i know losing my kids would be hard, but so is knowing your wife is screwing 5 guys a week on craigslist when your gone.


theres a lot you need to get off your chest though man, ive been there...i found a website like this one and found good people to talk to...they listened, and the opinion i got helped me a lot to stay sane,

most of all....just talking about it helped....you know the saying about pipes and pressure right ? you have to let off some steam....

hey man, i hope this helps...

if you need someone to talk to that knows what your going through regarding the cheating gf issue...im here.


take care man















 


sometimes its "worst first and greater later" as they say. 
 

[silent]

OMG! Divorce her pls...she is emotionally blackmailing U...n work on ur self image...this is completely unacceptable

[WhyAmIHere?]

Thank you all for your feedback. I greatly appreciate it
Things are still pretty messed up, Ive been trying to stay working while she finds another place to live. Now I might not be able to do that anymore I have to meet with my boss tomarro, i got stressed out at work and i couldnt bite my tongue any more and I kind of took it out on my superviser so I dont know how thats going to work. Also I been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately the past week Ive probably got a total of 10 hrs sleep. Ive tried everything over the counter sleep aid and prescription as a matter of fact I took 4 over the counter sleeping pills earlier and it did nothing I have to be up for work at 1 am it 1030 pm now so I cant imagin im going to get to much sleep tonight . when all this started i weighed 215lbs Im down to 170 now i dont have an appetite at all so even when I do eat i have to force myself. I dont know what to do anymore .
Our daughter over heard her talking about everything thats been going on so now shes confused , she had our oldest son help her try to delete all the rest of the messages befor I found them so now hes confused to, this is all getting out of controll , I almost wish that I never said anything about the messages I found . If I would have just acted like I never seen them atleast our kids wouldnt have gotten hurt..oh well I guess its to late now. I still dont understand how anyone could do this to someone els , I wouldnt wish this pain on my worst enemy.