My story and questions about PTSD

[dugonics]

Hello all, let's get down to business,

My name is Cody and I'm 21 years old. Whenever I was 10, I was involved in a car accident with my grandmother and my sister, 13 at the time, and my sister was fatally injured. I obviously had a hard time dealing with this, but I didn't have any severe symptoms of any disorder. I slept in my parent's room for about six months afterwards, but then I seemed to deal with it pretty well. Now looking back, I realized that my anxiety started way before it got out of control. I was always scared to stay at home by myself when I was young, I got scared/startled easily, and I simply over-thought things to where I thought I was always apprehensive. I graduated from high school in 2007 and for the next two years I smoked marijuana daily and in large amounts. Until, July of last year, I started having anxiety attacks daily. It hampered my school and work performance. I basically stayed at home for five months, besides going to school and work. My social life disappeared completely, although my friends were still there for me. The anxiety attacks just stopped one day, which was awesome, but I still have some lingering symptoms. I haven't been diagnosed with anything because I've yet to visit a psychiatrist. After my own research, I think PTSD is what is going on with me. I'm constantly worried about dying. I can just be sitting in my room watching t.v and I'll start thinking about dying and I can't get my mind off of it. My thoughts are constantly racing. I think that the car accident in addition with the marijuana may have caused this. I also suffer from derealization but it doesn't worry me as much now because it has been going on for a while and I've gotten used to it, well sort of. I don't like riding in cars with other people; I prefer to drive more often than not. I would appreciate if someone with a PTSD or someone with a good amount of experience with this disorder could access my situation and give me some sort of idea of what is going on with me. Thanks.

[reimers2244]

Hey Cody! I really wish I would have joined this group a long time ago so I could have posted to you. Let me begin with expressing my condolences for you loss.

I definately believe that you have some sort of PTSD from the accident. You may have had some underlying anxiety issues as well, since you had issues when you were young.
I myself was in a car wreck when I was 16. I was sitting in the back seat with my best friend, my two other friends were up front. We ended up rolling the car on a gravel road on the deserted side of the lake. When I came to, I tried to revive my best friend, but her injuries were fatal. The other two girls in the front were fine. It took us almost four hours to finally get help. By this time I was in complete shock. That was 10 years ago, and I still have issues with that car wreck. Anytime you are in a life threatening event, and you witness such trauma, you will never be the same. I highly suggest that you talk with a professional to overcome your suppressed thoughts that are begining to haunt you. You should definately get this in check before it begins spiraling out of control.
I have issues riding with people I dont know to this day. It took my a long time to let anyone but myself drive a vehicle. I did not trust anyone, and I felt like the only way I was safe was if I was behind the wheel because then I was in control.
You will overcome this with the right help. If you ever have any questions please ask. I get on this site every day now. I just hope its not too late with the post. Sorry again, I wish I could have seen this sooner!