Fear of getting fat

[Sunset]

Never been a big eater. But vacation is coming; that is a trigger. I just fear of being in a swimsuit. I ordered one. Very cute but it was too big. That should tell me something. oh how depressing. I don't know I was raised to be the BEST. It really wore on me. I usually won what I set my sights on. But it was never ever enough.

I escaped my family. Best thing I could have done. Sounds mean. NOT. It was survival.

My weight is ok now. I just want the "fat" thoughts to go away. I can't lose weight. I finally learned to look in the mirror and see what everyone saw. It was scary and a wake up call. And pictures. They don't lie. Unless someone messed w/them.

[tmicrowave]

i see how you feel
i wonder have you done this yet? or.......


i hope you do do it
i used to always hold myself to such a high standard and think i had to look really good or people would be disgusted by me
but really
no matter what other people look like
they usually all have some part that they just hate
that nobody else would even notice judge them for
cuz we're all just people