relapse... help.

[elvisgump]

well, it's been about 6 weeks since confronting my HA.  i was making good progress as i've noted here many times.  until today.  as some of you know, i've had issues with twitching and tingling in feet and legs (among other things).  more so the right than the left.  sometimes my right calf aches.  very mildly.  but noticeable.  so this morning, i was massaging my achey calf, only to find a lump in my calf.  a lump that is not on my other calf.  that's taken me to places i've not been in quite awhile.  including a couple of google searches.  stupid, i know.  i've stopped.  but i'm back to fearing the worst.  i've gone a full month without seeing my doctor and don't want to go back again...  damn it.

scott

[lisad27]

Congrats on doing well for 6 weeks, that is great!  First of all, I would not let your calf symptoms negate all the good progress you've made thus far.  I am speaking from experience too because I also have been doing well, maybe not for 6 weeks, but for at least a few and I know how much willpower it takes NOT to google symptoms.  It is very hard, but I am sure that what you are feeling is nothing to worry about; it could most likely be a fatty deposit or even just something that feels like a lump because you have been pressing on it.  If it is really, really bothering you, you could definitely go have it checked out and even if you do, don't look at it as a negative thing.  You know what they say, one step forward, two steps back.

[Jorden_M]

first and foremost i agree with lisad. if its bothering u that badly i would definately get it checked out by your doctor.
other than that it could be a couple thigns, for example like Lisad mentioned it could be a fatty deposite which obviously isn't too bad. then there is what i have in different parts of my body...Knots...these lovlies as everyone knows are caused from all your muscles tensing up when your anxious. That and just working everyone gets them, i actually have a couple in both of  my calves...painful lil buggers. but i dont think its anythign to worry about

[elvisgump]

thanks for your replies.  they certainly help.  the more i poke at it, it seems less like a lump and more like a "stitch", "knot" (like you pointed out jorden) or maybe even scar tissue - i did i have a very bad high ankle sprain years ago.  it seems harder than a lump - if that makes any sense.  maybe calcification?  who knows.  anyway, just went for a long walk with my son and am feeling a little better.  have resolved that i'll get my massage therapist to take a look next week and go from there.  settling from high anxiety to something considerably less...

thanks, again.

[gridder]

This is going to sound worse than it is, but I had a high ankle sprain in my 20s. When I was putting lotion on my calf one day when I was 39 I noticed my left lower leg down above my ankle was noticably larger than my right. Mine looks more like swelling than a lump. Anyway, I have a tendon that has herniated up through the muscle due to that old sprain. It doesn't hurt, but it looked scary when I first saw it. I don't know if this maybe happened to you too. It is no biggie - nothing worth fixing.

I also have an unindentified lump on the back of my other thigh. It feels sort of like a knotted muscle, but it is permanent, and also painless. (Got an MRI -- not my choice. It doesn't even show up, but you can clearly feel it.)

So, as you get older, stuff just gets weird. I am athletic which may cause some of these problems. Anyway -- it is most likely nothing.

[elvisgump]

thanks, gridder.  funny you mention your ankle sprain - my right ankle is similarly much larger than the left one for the same reason.  doesn't hurt and i've forgotten about it.  that's an accomplishment!  i have been reasonably active through the years too and have always avoided serious injury, but i guess time can catch up.  someone once said "getting old ain't for wimps".  that's what makes it so problematic...