I am terrified of worms.

[badlydrawngirl]

I just want to start by asking that if you read this, please don't post pictures. I highly doubt anyone would.. But I've been dreading actually coming to these sites for that reason.

Okay, so my phobia started when I was around the age of 6. I think it was the first time I ever discovered that they existed. There was never a specific incident involving them to trigger it.. I guess it's just in my DNA  For awhile it wasn't so extreme, but it has gotten to the point where I think of worms literally every 5 seconds. I lay down at night, close my eyes, and all I can see are worms. Once I start imagining them it's almost like I can feel them crawling all over my body. Typing this will probably give me a panic attack, but I just need some help.. and I need to talk to someone with a similar fear.
A few years ago I got paranoid thinking I had a tapeworm or something living inside my body. I couldn't and wouldn't use the bathroom. I went 2 weeks without going for fear that if I did I would see it in the toilet. All I could think about was if I actually had one inside me the only thing I could do was 0473.
Walking out to my car when it's raining is a life or death situation to me. When I'm lucky I'll have someone come out and walk in front of me, but when I'm on my own it will take me about 20 minutes to get from my door to my car. (it's probably 15 feet) I have to come up with a strategy.. I have to look down the entire time to make sure I don't step on one, and by the time I get to my car I am in tears from the terror I have been in. I'm afraid to drink tap water thinking they could have contaminated it somehow.  I'm afraid to walk into a dark room, in case one is on the floor and I step on it. I'm afraid to open picture messages sent to my phone thinking someone would send me pictures of them. If someone so much as says the word "worm" it'll send me across the room.  I truly believe if one ever touched me, I would die. The word phobia is an understatement of how I feel. I would rather be chased by a gang of zombies carrying torches and chainsaws then even been within 20 feet of one single worm. Not kidding.

It bothers me that other people don't understand. People will think it's funny or tell me things like "they can't hurt you." Well I KNOW they can't hurt me, and I know they wont hurt me. I know there is probably a 1 in 100,000,000% that there will ever be a worm in a dark room I enter. But I can't convince the other half of my brain of it.

This is ruining my life. It's controlling things that have NOTHING to do with worms. I just somehow get it in my head that they are apart of everything.

If anyone has the same phobia, something similar, or even a different phobia but to this extent.. I would love to talk with you. 

[sixpack]

HI

I'm sorry this phobia has taken over your life.  I'm sure it is terrifying.  I saw your post in someone else's intro thread and was going to post there but noticed your post here. If you want to find a forum that is specific only to phobias, you may want to try a google search.

HOWEVER 

a phobia is a phobia.  What I mean by that is it doesn't matter what an individual person fears, per se, as they all stem from irrational thinking--however that begins is up to debate  (I mean my son and one daughter are very afraid of heights and nothing happened to them to trigger that fear).  I hope that makes some sense.  So I don't think you really need to speak to someone specifically who fears worms.  And I don't know if it would be all the helpful, IMO.  Reading your post, it seems you are trying to work through this by avoidance.  But you can easily see now that that isn't working.  Usually avoidance of any fear will lead to the fear getting worse and escalating.  So, IMO, you need to dig through the ole tool box and find something else to help you heal from this.  Often Cognitive Behavior Therapy is helpful with phobias.  Have you tried that?

I hope I've been at least a little helpful...   

[badlydrawngirl]

I know a phobia is a phobia.. I just would like to talk to someone with a specific phobia. It's kinda hard for me to understand social phobias.. that's why..

[sixpack]

I understand that.  Social phobia doesn't seem the same and probably is a bit different.  We actually have a separate folder for Social Anxiety for that reason.  

This folder  ---specific phobias---is for folks who fear a things like fear of bees or worms or you know... And there are people here who have extreme phobias (maybe not worms specifically).  So, maybe my post wasn't quite as clear as I meant it to be.  I meant that you could talk to anyone with a phobia---heights for example---and it would be roughly the same thing.  You may have a different fear BUT the way to work through it would be the same way.  Another example of what I mean is about Health Anxiety.  I tend to fixate on that.  And we have a very active folder here for that.  But it is full of people who fear different illnesses.  But the root of it all is irrational thinking and catastrophizing symptoms.  While we may fear different diseases, working through it is done the same ways--therapy, meds, exercise, hobbies, changing the thinking, self-help books.... And the fact that one may fear a neuro disease and another fears a heart ailment is actually quite helpful.  Because the neuro person can objectively see that a person with a heart issue is thinking 'badly' or irrationally and can advise and support better and vice versa.

So hopefully I explained myself better and not made it muddier.  

[badlydrawngirl]

Oh yes I understand what you're saying.. it's just easier for me to understand how another person deals with it if it's also something tangible.. that's all I was saying