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Author Topic: question after question  (Read 2266 times)

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Offline tanya

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question after question
« on: January 10, 2006, 04:47:59 AM »
i am new and was just wondering if others feel as though others are thinking ill of them. i found myself in a situation recently where i felt my child was getting a raw deal at school. i went to the school and complained. the other parents were notified Because i was seen there it was assumed that i caused the problem. this went on for the whole year and after numerous trips i thought i had it all sorted. then the parents of the other children stopped talking to me and i became worried that something had happened. spent allot of time thinking everyone must hate me. one day it got the better of me and i rang these parents and they told me that i was a meddling mum who should let the kids sort things for themselves . and that my child was nothing but a lying kid with problems. both believed that neither of their kids would of done what the teachers had told them and that they believed there children.i also believe my child but i also accept that he had done wrong also. now i find myself questioning me. did i over react?  so i apologized for anything i may of done to offend now i ask myself? why couldn't i stick up for my child when he was called a liar? why do i care so much what others think of me?  is this my anxiety or am i right to protect my child? when can i stick up for them and when should i let it go? my child is only 8 .shouldn't i be teaching him that i am here for him. i believe my anxiety stemmed from no one being there for me. it is times like this that i question my ability to deal with anxiety ,as i am always wondering what is normal and what is anxiety/
please can someone help me just when i think i am getting there i seem to blow it
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Offline apple

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Re: question after question
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2006, 03:16:12 AM »
It is hard to feel like you do when someone else is judging you...Practice not caring..
The fact is you should practice listening to those who care about YOU...those people don't have anything invested in you or your son, only you do and the people who care about you....

It comes down to this...

Do you want to be respected by people that don't give a secong thought to you or your son?   :laugh:

Or do you want to be respected by caring, unjudgemental, giving, kind, thoughtful people like yourself?

different perspective?  These people are not stressing about you, yet you are giving them too much power, too much of your quality time you could be enjoying. Little steps, its not easy to reprogram thoughts that a engrained in you which is why you have to really practice hard at it.

Trust me...it won't fix fast or all at once, and this alone may not help you out completely..but it will start to make sence when someone says something to you(or doesn't say anything) one day, and you brush it off easy or not you will be proud of yourself.
I'm still working on this myself, good luck!!!
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I hope everyone could suffer less by knowing more

Offline tanya

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Re: question after question
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2006, 04:30:10 AM »
thankyou so much i wish i could give you a big hug
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Offline bodhee

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Re: question after question
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2006, 12:21:40 AM »
sorry to be contrary hear but why in the world do you care what the othe rparents thought about you??? if you stuck up for your child, then really you should care less about the fact that the other parents thought about you.. it just makes me think that your concern lies more in what they are thinking about you, vs, your child.
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