breakdown :(

[emma09]

im really going to have a breakdown soon i dont thnk i can hold it together any more, i cant get this "dodgy ecg" reading out my head i am so convinced there gna tell me bad news. im gna have my reading monday (thats if i make till then) and when they give me the results its gona be bad and im gna need an op or im gna have irregular hb, or somethings damaged  i hate this i just keep crying to my bf = / i havent had any of the flutters since that morning so its making me worse thinking something must be wrong and it cant be anxiety!!! (weird thing tho i have stopped drinking my decaf tea and stopped using canderal sweetner) oh dear i just need some kind words

[emma_lou]

hiya hon.  Lots of hugs from me. I HAVE had a breakdown, and its not a fun place to be.  Please go to your doctor and get some help from the mental health professionals, it sounds like the meds you are on are not really helping in the way you might need right now. Also consider this may be related to the birth of your child, all those chemicals up there can go outta whack and need some help getting back to normal

Please do get some help, i can see you are escalating every day, and you deserve better

Lots of understanding from me/

are you eating and sleeping ok? xx hug hug hug

[emma09]

hi emma, im sleeping and eating good i am gna start meds after all this is over cos i cant take no more just got wait a couple of weeks. i dont kno why we get stuck with this, ive never done ne thing bad in life and always get stuck with bad luck someone hates me up there ^^

[forestbythesealady]

You need to try to reel yourself in. You have to remember that the doctor would not have sent you home if he even had the slightest concern about your heart. There are many benign things that can cause your EKG to be abnormal. And, didn't you say you had a hard time keeping still for it? I would imagine your were in a state of extreme anxiety at the time as well.

Why do you have to wait a couple of weeks to get any type of meds to help calm your anxiety? Isn't there a regular doctor that you see about your anxiety issues who can give you a prescription for xanax or ativan or klonopin???? If you could take something that would take the edge off, you would not feel as if you were going to have a breakdown. Please call your doctor about this.

You said you haven't had the flutters since you went to the hospital...and that worries you even more? Now, Emma...listen to what you are saying. Remember, the flutters aren't always there with anxiety. They sort of come willy nilly. You need to try to get control of your thoughts. I know it is very hard...but you have to try.

I know a lot about heart disease because of my dad. I also know a lot about heart weirdness from anxiety. All of the things you have described over the last few weeks are nothing like heart disease. They ARE very much like anxiety though. You are so focused on your heart that of course you are going to feel every strange little sensation...and, your anxiety will cause those sensations.

Please try to get some meds to help calm your anxiety. I really think that might help you at this point.

[emma09]

i want  to wait to take meds cos i want to take them wen i get all my bloods back and my heart monitir thingy results cum bk just so i know i am healthy taking something now would make me worse! my propranolol helps so i also want to know what i can take with these i am feeling calmer just got worked up = /

[Jlbd5g]

Hi Emma, This HA thing really sucks! I have been plagued with this torture for over 20 yrs. now and still counting. The "still counting" is the key phrase, I'm still here. I suffer from the same EXACT symptoms you and many, if not all, on this site suffer from. I have been coming here and reading everyday since August and it has been a God send to me to say the least. You and others tell my story to the Tee! It just amazes me,but most of all it helps me get through the day w/o an ER visit!

I have the heart fear thing. Have had ALL the cardio test, been to every Dr. in a 3 state radius from where I live. Lost relationships, jobs, homes and have spent a fortune. I have researched and read practically every self help book there is on the subject. Seen the shrinks, counselors, been hospitalized, took all the meds and even managed to get horribly addicted to them (but that's a story of it own) just tring to survive and live "normal" and not in fear of having a heart attack 99% of each day.... Sorry didn't mean to get off the subject.

I have learned a little something about this obsession though. When I think I have the answer to the symptom that I am having, and want to do things in the way my head tells me, I'm doing exactlly what this beast wants. My hardest obstical is believing/accepting that this HA thing is the cause. I thought  "no way this is HA, I'm normal everywhere in my life except all these chest pains and other symptoms that are classic heart disease related!!!  "I am educated and I know when something is wrong with me, it's my own God given self preservation thats kicking in to do something to save my life!! No way is this a panic attack!!!! I am not like that!!! I am strong and no way something like anexity/ panic disorder could evey bring me to my knees like this"!!....Well it did.

I can't give you any better advise that has not already been given. The people here are absolutely remarkable, they know and hve been through what I have been and going through. Taking suggestions from someone who's been through it, no matter how it feels to do it does help me. I am learning slowly to get out of my own way and its hard as hell some days.

I hope you feel better soon, Im pretty sure we are all in one of the right places we need to be to walk through this.

 
Jerry