Hello everybody.
My name is Whitney. I'm a 19 year old female university student in Kentucky. I just found this place, and I really hope it can help me out.
I've been a worrier since I was about 9 years old. Back then, I lived in a big city, and I would always be scared that someone was going to break into our house--although they never did. That's a worry which is still with me, ten years later and living in a completely different place. But that's not even the beginning of it. Sure, some of my worrying has to do with college--did I do alright on that paper? Why did I forget such basic stuff on that test? Did I sound like an idiot when I answered that out loud?--and I do dwell on things like that for days and days... but that's not even everything! I worry constantly! If I'm not worrying about whether or not I'll be able to find a good part-time job next semester, I'm worrying about things back home in Tennessee. One of my biggest problems is my boyfriend. Although he is very special and important to me, and we've been together for years, he's a big source of my worry. He lives in Rhode Island, and every holiday when he flies back home, I find myself coming up with the worst case scenario of what could happen to him on the airplane. Of course this drives him crazy, because I can't just say "Have a good trip!" and let him go... I wish so much that I could do that, but I just can't. It's impossible for me to let go of anything.
I also check locked doors and unplugged cords over and over again, which leads me to believe I'm not only dealing with anxiety, but also with OCD... but that isn't the biggest part of my problem. This anxiety has been going on for about ten years now, but in the past five months, it's been increasing really, really rapidly. There is a history of depression in my family, and I do not want my anxiety problem to lead me to that.
So that's why I really need help, in the form of a support group... there aren't any in "real life" near here, so the Internet is the next best thing. Being in college, I can't afford a therapist, and the university therapists are only allowed to meet with students up to eight times, which is not very helpful for me. So I really hope this place can do something for me... help me out, and make me feel better. I hope someday I will be able to say to my boyfriend, "Go and have a great trip. I'll see you in a couple of weeks." I also hope someday I can say things like, "I'm not going to worry about this right now."
So... that is why I'm here, and I'm sorry that was so long. I really needed to get all that out.
