Hi

[AD87]

Hey

Well, it’s 6:50 am and I still cant fall asleep, I have become nocturnal. I am 18 years old and have been feeling like dung for a long time now. I am not sure if I have an anxiety disorder since I never went to the doctor. I don’t think I can remember the last time I have been happy at home. I have headaches, trouble concentrating, cant fall asleep, muscle twitches ( leg), and I worry about my life and future non stop. Last year I was very stressed because of university applications and marks. After getting into all the universities I applied to, I picked the one that was furthest away, only a 3 hour drive. My parents wouldn’t let me go to the one I wanted and made me go to the local one. I was extremely angry at them. I was also angry at myself for not going to the university I wanted, so I could get away from them and be happy. I cant function with my parents. I love them and everything, but I just cant live at home anymore. I just finished my first semester at university. I dropped two courses, failed one , barley passed one and did okay in one. I have re applied to the university I wanted to go to, but am not sure if I will get in ( due to marks) and that’s when the anxiety started again.  When my leg started to twitch i thought it was something serious, like a tumor and part of me wished it was terminal. 

[apple]

I totally get you...yet how easy is it to start your own life away from home?  First there is finances and you truely do depend on your parents for that and direction and approval and you love them to death.

I broke away when I was 16 and my parents only made my leaving about them and how selfish I was and how I just wanted my own way.  I'm 31 now with a husband and 2 children of my own. I've suffered alot from the decisions I've made because anxiety plagued me and my ability to make good judjement calls kinda sucked.

Guess what..thru lots of heated troubles with my parents, they finally get that I truely do suffer from a known disorder called generalized anxiety disorder, that causes panic attacks etc..Not that it was easy to tell them over and over through the years as I learned more about it.  Most of my anxiety stems from my childhood, how my Mom raised me( she suffers too but doesn't think she does, after all I finally turned out ok and it must be because she was such a good Mom.) She was a terrible Mom, and I understand why. I love her and work hard to keep my relationship intackt even thou she causes most of my stress.  She taught me how to live a life filled with anxiety because she suffered from this too.
I do not have all the answers for your particular problems, however know that if you work hard at it you can start to believe that your own decisions for your life will be good ones...even when you screw up big you must go thru it to learn something
important that will help you later.

Some of the best things in my life happened because I made the "wrong Choice" and it worked out.

TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR TROUBLES, ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO SEND YOU TO AN ANXIETY SPECIALIST (MAY BE A PSYCOLOGIST OR PSYIATRIST)

MAKE SURE THAT WHATEVER TREATMENT YOU DO THAT YOU ALSO DO "BEHAVIOUR THERAPY" (this will teach you how to get rid of useless anxiety so you can consentrate on the major stuff)

I PROMISE YOU, the sooner you do this the better your life will be.

I no longer have panic attacks(and I use to have them 5 times a day), I don't do gymnastics in my sleep any more and the leg jolts only happen now when I truely have something stressful going on in my life, and even then it's not as bad.

You may or may not have to work at this for the rest of your life...but you are young enough to get a tight grip on it now and save yourself more horrifying problems throughout your life

Best wishes to you...may you suffer less because you've learned more.