I've been completely out of control

[sandorclegane]

The past week and a half I have been so bad to the point where I can barely function.  Everything I feel in my mind is some kind of symptom of there being something wrong with my heart.  I tried working out a bit and I strained my left shoulder/pec a bit and that was probably about the worst thing that could have happened to me because I felt like I was having a heart attack 24/7, not to mention I've had a lot of stomach acid issues and indigestion lately and it just adds to my anxiety so much more.  It all came to a boiling point on Wednesday, I felt like I couldn't breathe (I induced this myself) and then I got completely flushed and my hands went numb and my face and groin went numb too and I got like pins and needles everywhere and this was a relatively new manifestation of panic for me so I immediately got in the car and drove to the hospital and sat there, I was able to calm down enough to wait to go to the doctor the following day and he examined me and then put me on some new medication and I'm supposed to go back in a week now to report on how it's working.  So right now I'm on Zoloft, and klonopin, and now I'm on Zyprexa which is the new medication.  I'm so afraid of having that same kind of attack I had the other day though because it was new and scary and I feel like it means there's something wrong with my heart, and I'm so afraid and obsessed over it I think I initiate it myself at times.

Has anyone here been on Zyprexa before and found it helpful?  If you have a horror story, or had bad side effects, please do not share this with me, I am trying my best to take this medication and so far it seems like it is kind of working, but I still am obsessed with my heart and I still sometimes feel sensations and I still am very worried there is something wrong with me, but I've been more relaxed.  My parents took away the little pamphlet with the side effects before I got to read it (I live at home now, I'm 22 and was living in an apartment, but this got so out of control I can hardly function) and I talked to the pharmacist and he told me that there are people with heart conditions and cancer that are taking the exact same medications I'm on now and that even if I did have a heart condition they would not hurt me and I'm not on the largest doses of them.  So that gave me some piece of mind.  I don't know what I'm going to do when I go back to the doctor, I want to get more tests done on my heart, but asides from a stress test and an mri I have had everything else.  I've avoided the stress test because physical activity triggers me so badly and I'm afraid that the test is going to be too much for me to take. 

I don't know what my point is, I was just wondering if anyone has some advice for something who is struggling this badly and has reached the point I have where to get up and shower, or go to the store, and just do basic things is a hassle.  And I was wondering if anyone has any commentary on the Zyprexa which is very new to me.  It just sucks, Christmas is soon and this is definitely my favorite time of year and I haven't been able to enjoy it and have very little excitement, or anticipation for the holidays.  It sucks because I was able to keep this to myself for a very long time and now I've got my whole family and girlfriend and my girlfriend's family knows a bit about it and my friends and it's like everyone probably thinks that I am insane and if I looked at myself from an outsiders perspective I'd probably think I was crazy too, I think I'm dying always, I am always at the doctor, or hospital, was just at the emergency room, and I sit outside the emergency room parking lot all the time when I get bad attacks just incase it is my heart and I need to go in and get help. 

[emma09]

 i have issues with my heart too! Like getting up to do anything im thinking what if! Its so annoying. All i can say is try and carry on as normal im going through the same thing so cant really give good advice but i hope you feel better