Worrying about worrying things will go wrong?!

[vikirich]

Hey, i'm quite new here, and have found some of the stuff on this website very reassuring - my boyfriend found it for me, knowing how i suffer horribly from anxiety and yeah, it's helped.

so about a month ago, i started worrying to the point where i made myself nearly ill, about how i felt about my boyfriend - whether there was any point in us being together because we say we're in love (And i definitely feel that way about him), but i'm 17 and sometimes the prospect of long-term scares me a bit. But when I think about making things more 'casual', i get upset, as though it's acknowledging i have a problem.
So we had an awful time where we were constantly talking about it, and we both got quite emotional. thankfully, after this time things felt fine, and have been for 4 weeks now, i think.

But now i feel similar fears coming back. I'm constantly clockwatching because i know when i have to sleep all these fears will come back to me, and i will think overtime and attempt to reassure myself. i do eventually fall asleep, but it leaves me feeling drained and unhappy the next day. i also wake up nervous to see my boyfriend the next day, as though i have this fear that my feelings will have literally changed overnight as a result of my worrying.

I have always admired my parents, who will have been married for 20 years this year, filed for divorce back in January, so this year has been very stressful, my boyfriend and i started dating back in April - but i wonder if my parents split has had a more profound effect on me than i'd like to think?

When i'm in the presence of my boyfriend, everything feels fine, and i'm at ease and very happy with him.

I think i'm just worrying about worrying....

....can anyone shed any light on this? Has anyone been through similar? Any reassurance out there? I've dealt with anxiety in differing bouts over the years since I was about 7, so it's not that new, but with sensitive situations it can be really intense, so any responses would be mose welcome and appreciated.

sorry this post is so long! Just felt i ought to give a decent background...

many thanks, xxx

[Cooler]

Vikirich,

I have read your post carefully.

IMO worrying is never a useful mindset. It is a form of anxiety, and it can certainly upset our lives badly, even when there is nothing wrong. You have said that you are happy to be with your boyfriend, and that is a really good sign.

Instead of focussing your worrying mind onto things in your life, I would suggest dealing with the tendency to worry, maybe by seeking some counselling. I speak from experience, as I have gradually overcome the 'worrying about worrying' mindset and know it for what it is.

Good thoughts,

C. 

[tigerpaw]

Welcome to the ZONE.