Help, I'm completely out of my depth!

[chasingsun]

I don't know what to do or where to go for help and would really like some good advice. I suffer from general anxiety disorder. I am having really bad relationship problems. I am smoking far to much trying to blank out the pain of my relationship. Generally, I am pretty much together, but as soon as my partner drinks or takes cocaine I feel like my whole world is caving in on me. He becomes aggressive and he is verbally and emotionally abusive. I know it is his problem and not mine and maybe I should leave him. I will not be able to survive financially on my own and I do love him. When he doesn't do it everything is fine between us. Our sex life is dire and now I suspect him of having an affair. I am a very attractive and very nice person. I know I make myself a victim by my inability to leave. I just wish he could see what he is doing but he is in complete denial. He keeps blaming me and saying I'm driving him to it, but I just don't know how     

[tigerpaw]

Personally I would leave, and find alternate living arrangements.