Somthing that used to relax me is making me anxious

[Snowfox]

 Hi there everyone, I'm new to this forum, it's nice to find a place where people understand me and my thought processes!
I guess I should start with a bit of history - I've had GAD pretty much all of my life  (I'm 19) and am currently undergoing CBT, as well as various other therapies that target specific areas of anxiety (i.e psychosexual therapy) I've also recently been diagnosed with the obsessive part of obsessive-compulsive disorder (pure O I believe it's called?) and Social anxiety. I don't take any meds as the thought of the side effects makes me anxious
Anyway.. two points to make really, the first is in referance to one of my favourite passtimes - watching the birds on the feeder in my garden. It has always made me feel at least somwhat peaceful, and I specifically moved to a new house just so I could have a garden to enjoy (I live in the city and gardens aren't generally available) it used to bring me so much joy. I just went outside to fill my feeder, and noticed my neighbour staring at me out of the window. As the birds came down, she slammed her window really loudly to scare them away, and now I'm sitting/pacing here with a pounding heart and tight chest, worrying that my actions are causing her unhappiness. One of my only releases has turned into a source of anxiety. - Does this sound crazy/am I overreacting?


The second point: I  have always been plagued by nightmares about death and dying. (just last night I dreampt my dad was trying to kill my mum and I) and I wake up crying and sometimes screaming most nights. But recently, this thought of dying has plagued my everyday life. I am literally terified of it.It's like a horrific image being replayed over and over again in my head, and I've been reduced to a sobbing mess quite a few times. Has anyone else experinced this intense fear of death? is there any way to feel better? I've had to walk out of university lectures recently in which death is being discussed... I'm losing sleep. it's really getting me down.
Thank you for reading. iIt helps just to type it all out.

[sixpack]

Hi Snowfox

well me thinks you are worrying over something that you shouldn't.  Birds are around whether you feed them or not.  You are not responsible for how your neighbor feels.  So I want you to not worry about her/him one way or the other.  Enjoy the birds.  It gives you pleasure.  I like birds too---well except the yellow finches--   While beautiful birds, they have started eating my screens on the windows.  WHAT????
 
Regarding death and dying--lots of people worry about this.  And it is an unpleasant thought mostly because it isn't a 'what if' but an eventual 'when'.  For me I have to accept death for something that will happen at some point but live a happy life instead of looking for when it will end.