a real help for agoraphobia..

[bondavage]

so ever since this panic began i've had really intense agoraphobia. i had to quit my job, couldnt leave the house, could hardly even make it in the car to get to my parents, et cetera..
it's let up a bit since the beginning but still has been pretty bad. if i dont HAVE to leave the house.. i would do everything in my power to NOT.
but this past week i forced myself to go out of town.
i know it seems like a huuuuuge step.. but it did me SO MUCH GOOD in the long run.
my family happens to have a farm in east texas. in a small town. very relaxing. lots of land. it's been in the family for about 4 generations. we always go there for thanksgiving. so this year i was afraid i wouldnt be able to make it b/c of my panic issues.
so i decided no matter what i was going to make myself.
here's what i did, and i suggest you try to do it yourself:

pick a place that is not too far away.. but far enough away (mine was about 3 hrs) that you are familiar with.
make sure the night before the trip you sleep very little. that way you always have the comfort of sleeping in the car if the anxiety gets too extreme. i packed my ativan with me as well. it's something i only take when my anxiety is through the roof but it works as a great security blanket, just in case.
take books in the car to keep your mind off the drive. i know cars have scared the piss out of me since my anxiety started.. so i was really apprehensive about spending 3 hours in one..
but i read and i slept and the trip went by relatively quick. there were moments that i got scared and felt like i was going to freak out but i just pulled the blanket i brought over my head and did some breathing exercises. it really calmed me.

being at the farm was strange even as familiar with it as i am. switching environments just really throws people with panic for a loop, i know.
but i had no choice but to stick it out for 3 days. so i kept myself as busy as possible. i did end having to take quite a few ativans.. but no problem. i knew i would have to..
by the time we had to leave i was not apprehensive about the car ride AT ALL. it was a breeze.
now i dont even flip out in cars even here in dallas. i was in a car 4 times yesterday and it was a so easy and anxiety free.


my therapist has told me keep pushing and pushing yourself b/c what you are doing is training your mind to think like it used to. to think w/o fear. and you can only do that by showing it over and over and over again through baby steps that nothing is going to happen to you and you can live life normally again. i know at the time it seems like you're not improving at all b/c the change is so slight.. but suddenly.. a couple months down the road you'll realize things are getting a lot easier..

next week im going to start trying to drive the car!
ha! :)


best of luck everyone.
keep trying and pushing and you'll achieve everything you need to..

[itsmeesindee]

Yep just take small steps and the progress you make will inspire you to take a little bigger step.  Always remember anxiety cant hurt you it is just a feeling.  Dont be afraid of it.

Congrats on your trip!

Cin