Am I an alcoholic?

[bethie]

Just reading through a few of the recent posts and am so glad I cam to this site. I am a terribly anxious person - it runs in the family! - and discovered that drinking helped ease all sorts of troubles. Especially social anxiety, which is my big thing. But it started it's own huge anxiety all of its own and a decade down the line I am left wondering if I am an alcoholic or just someone who has fallen into a vicious cycle. I've been searching around the Internet looking for advice and just a story like mine and came to many AA sites. They recommend meetings and 12-step programs, which I have tried and it just seems to make things worse. I can have a glass or two when I am feeling sane and in control but the same two glasses of wine at the wrong time in my cycle and/or with stresses building up can trigger a week-long binge where I have to keep going or I feel like I will die. Not kidding. I don't feel like myself during this time and I just watch as I hurt my husband so. He is confused and angry and worst of all, sad and scared. I am too. I get gaps in my memory that terrify me to such an extent that the only solution I can think of is to fill it with yet more gaps - drinking. When I expressed my concerns about AA in one chat room, they banned me, which was so terribly unhelpful it nearly kicked me into a bottle of red wine. Luckily I came here instead. I did not post anything offensive, so don't think I am like that, please. I just looked at the banned message with tears welling up in my eyes thinking "If AA won't help me, who will?" I'll help myself. So, is there any way I can know for sure that I am an alcoholic (and therefore not allowed to drink ever again) or is there a way to remain normal without resorting to alcohol to calm my washing-machine head when it is in spin cycle?

[AnxiouSteve]

Can you stop drinking entirely for an extended period if you are not anxious?  If the answer is 'yes' then you are not physically addicted, so not an alcoholic in the classic sense.

I don't know much about addiction, but I would say you have at least found a very bad coping mechanism.

[jasonibs9]

my wife is a semi-alcoholic. every night she has to have at least one drink and everytime we go to a restaurant she orders something strong. I get sick of it. I'd probably have a drink here and there but I don't want to promote it around her. 

[tigerpaw]

Bethy I feel as though you have already answered your own question.  I am not a Dr, but if you can't stop drinking for a period of time then it sounds like an addiction.  Especially, your extended black outs thats NOT good.  Go to a one on one therapist and either quit drinking all together or find out how to drink responsibly. I wish you the best.

[Cooler]

Just reading through a few of the recent posts and am so glad I cam to this site. I am a terribly anxious person - it runs in the family! - and discovered that drinking helped ease all sorts of troubles. Especially social anxiety, which is my big thing. But it started it's own huge anxiety all of its own and a decade down the line I am left wondering if I am an alcoholic or just someone who has fallen into a vicious cycle. I've been searching around the Internet looking for advice and just a story like mine and came to many AA sites. They recommend meetings and 12-step programs, which I have tried and it just seems to make things worse. I can have a glass or two when I am feeling sane and in control but the same two glasses of wine at the wrong time in my cycle and/or with stresses building up can trigger a week-long binge where I have to keep going or I feel like I will die. Not kidding. I don't feel like myself during this time and I just watch as I hurt my husband so. He is confused and angry and worst of all, sad and scared. I am too. I get gaps in my memory that terrify me to such an extent that the only solution I can think of is to fill it with yet more gaps - drinking. When I expressed my concerns about AA in one chat room, they banned me, which was so terribly unhelpful it nearly kicked me into a bottle of red wine. Luckily I came here instead. I did not post anything offensive, so don't think I am like that, please. I just looked at the banned message with tears welling up in my eyes thinking "If AA won't help me, who will?" I'll help myself. So, is there any way I can know for sure that I am an alcoholic (and therefore not allowed to drink ever again) or is there a way to remain normal without resorting to alcohol to calm my washing-machine head when it is in spin cycle?

Bethie,

I am 61 yrs old. I have had an anxiety disorder since 17 and I have been drinking moderately (on and off) for the same length of time.

Like you, if my anxiety cycle is benign I can have a few glasses with the best of them, and feel fine, no hangover next day etc. However, if my anxiety cycle is bad a drink of alcohol can make me very ill next day.

After careful thought, my view is that the anxiety disorder is the problem for me, not so much the alcohol. People with anxiety are obviously drawn to alcohol (although we often shun meds for some reason) and alcohol can give an anxiety sufferer a little relief or a rough ride.

When our daughter was growing up I was tee total for 10 years and in those years I suffered some of the worst panic episodes of my life, so abstinence was no answer for me. I would recommend a period of abstinence, maybe with some counselling help, and see how the anxiety comes out. If you feel much better, then there is the answer.

C.