Feeling completely down in the dumps

[crazy]

I think I've got a bit of depression setting in  .

Background:  I have been off since the Friday before the Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving) - so 1.5 weeks now.  I was sick as a dog last week and am feeling better but not 100% - still totally exhausted and wiped out... and I just can't kick the cough.  Apparently we may have had H1N1 - no way to know for sure as they are only testing clinically significant cases now.  My daughter has been home with me the entire time as well.

Tomorrow, I was supposed to have my stress test - the test I have been waiting for since August when I had an "angina-like" episode.  I had to cancel it today and it has been postponed until Decemeber 7th.  There was no way I could go tomorrow... and I find it so darn depressing!  I wanted this test soooo badly - I really just wanted to rule out cardiac problems.. now I have to play the waiting game again - they have me on a cancellation list now so I hope they will call me in early, but I'm just SOOOO frustrated.

And to top that off, I find it really hard to know if I'm actually better and now the anxiety is returning, or do I really need to be resting for 2 WHOLE WEEKS like the doctor said...  Does that ever happen to anyone?  It's almost hard to tell the difference between anxiety and a general flu... last week I KNEW it was the flu... this week I can't tell whether the exhaustion and aches are the remainder of it, or if it's just back to the same old anxiety game.

It wouldn't matter one way or the other for my stress test.  My daughter is still not fully recovered which is complicated by some asthma - tomorrow wouldn't be possible for the test due to that anyway.  The hospital that is doing it is a good 45 minute drive.

I'm just depressed and wanted to vent  .  Thanks for listening.

[hypo]

I can totally relate, I am also getting over the flu.  Cough is still here and I'm obsessing about it, also obsessing about whether it was actually the flu-keep checking my temp to be sure that the fever isn't coming back, anxiety is getting worse again and I wake up every morning nauseated and afraid, can't tell what's the flu and what's anxiety.  Hang in there!

[gridder]

You guys, I always get that way when I have a flu or bad cold. I tend to get depressed coming out of it, and then can't tell if I am well, or what! Your bodies are repairing themselves -- they are miraculous things in that way. But, they need a lot of energy to do it, and that means a lot of sitting around, which is depressing! And you feel tired when you've done nothing all day! I know it is bad when i see people on TV and think "they are healthy -- will I ever feel like that again?"

I always plan on enjoying it when I get sick (staying in bed, watching TV, etc.) , but I hate it. My anxiety usually goes up too. So, hang in there. Try to watch a movie or do something cheerful. I do find that self-help books cheer me up a little. Call a friend.

This too, shall pass.

[crazy]

Thanks guys  .  Hypo - I was compulsively taking my daughters temperature to make sure it didn't return - I can totally relate.  And the lingering cough is driving me nuts too!

Thanks for the pep talk gridder.  I guess the one positive thing that has come out of this is that I discovered 30Rock!!!!  I had never watched it before... I'm now finished Season 1 on dvd and I'm half way through Season 2.  It's hilarious!

[gridder]

oooh - LOVE 30 Rock!!
I also like the new sitcom "Modern Family. . " and I am not much of a TV watcher.