Am I just lazy?

[waterbill]

I find since retiring a few months ago that I can't seem to find a purpose or direction for my days. I have anxiety/depression which flared up as I was planning my retirement and since then. I have read about this possibly happening.....losing self worth with no place you need to be every day. I find that all I seem to enjoy doing is reading and I can't figure out if I'm just hiding out.
I go walking and plan to join a gym but haven't the motivation YET. Have no other hobbies that I can lose myself in. Do you think it's part of my depression or could it be normal to just enjoy relaxing and reading so much?  I guess part of the problem is..... I feel guilty not doing something more "productive" Wish I could just learn to enjoy life and not be so critical of myself..any help would be appreciated.

P.S.  I've noticed that a major percentage of you on the posts are younger. Any senior citizens out there??

[Pan]

I read this yesterday and thought you might find it interesting:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8307750.stm

[waterbill]

Very interesting Pan.....I have seen a few articles on this issue and knew of the possibility of this happening. I hadn't planned on working after retirement unless just the right situation arose. Having anxiety issues, going into a whole new environment would not be pleasant for me. I just want to learn how to enjoy the days and not feel that strange guilty feeling of "doing nothing" I felt this problem brewing during my last weeks in my job, but didn't get the full blown attack until about 6 months after.
I guess it will just be a work in progress. Although my severe anxiety is much better thanks to meds, the low grade depression hangs on. We just keep on plugging, I guess.

[eduk8or]

waterbill,

Although I am not retirement age, my parents are both retired and are enjoying it.  My dad spends his time with doing things like fantasy football, reading, taking his dogs hunting, walking, taking his dad out for lunch every week, napping.  My mom reads, takes care of things around the house, jogs, goes hunting with my dad, takes her mom out for lunch every week, napping.  They both are just enjoying relaxing and not HAVING to do anything.  My mom said it was difficult to get to this point when she first retired, but now they both say there aren't enough hours in the day.  Maybe you should just try to accept the way things are now and try to "go with the flow".  If you are enjoying reading and relaxing, then just do that right now and don't force anything.  You'll develop a pattern soon enough, it's what we humans tend to do.

[waterbill]

Eduk8or,  thanks so much for your encouraging words. I guess I never realized how much we measure our worth by the work we do. Also, although I retired mostly because of unpleasant issues in the workplace, I did love the social interaction and 'most of' the people I worked with. I am doing a little better now and realize more each day that this is a process that might take some time and that I need to accept myself for who I am, not what I do. I'm glad to hear that your parents are enjoying their retirement and doing the simple things they like. I have joined a yoga class and WILL join a local gym. I go out for lunch with friends, market, go to the mall and walk for exercise. Most of my retired friends have grandchildren that keep them busy, but my kids aren't married. My health is generally good and I should be able to enjoy a full life, just having trouble seeing that "silver lining" right now.