English class presentation (thinking about leaving the country)

[pinky5]

Hi everyone,

Just thought I would share my latest challenge/nightmare with the social anxiety. I am taking 2 English courses this term and the one that I am doing right now is a literature one that requires a lot of in class participation and discussions about stories poetry etc. Now we have to do a presentation about literary terms in groups of 2 or 3. I have been wrestling with myself for weeks about whether or not I will do it, or try to get out of it. I have decided to try. I think there will be a lot of blushing and sweating, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm so sick of being run and limited by my fears.

I started thinking about what my life would be like if I started to do the most I could to get over things instead of the least like I usually do. I was even thinking about taking some really drastic action like joining a group like toastmasters. (public speaking club) I could either go through the next few years of college dreading presentations and avoiding the ones I can, or I could do something really major to get over my fear of speaking in front of others. Still pondering this idea.

So the presentation is a week tomorrow, hoping I don't pass out or start crying. I really want to feel like an adult in all aspects of my life. I think that is what I hate most about the anxiety, that in some ways I feel like a capable adult and in others I feel like a scared little kid.

I was talking to my presentation partner about ways to make it easier. I came up with the idea of having a few drinks at lunch before class (really bad idea, don't think so) or I was thinking I could go for a week of intensive sessions at the tanning beds so my blushing won't be so noticeable. I might be looking a little crispy, but maybe a little more casual and relaxed? Have good skin though, would hate to mess it up, maybe a few sessions wouldn't hurt.

Rachel

[Janey]

Hi Pinky,

Somehow i know you will be able to do it with flying colours!!

I think the idea of doing something like toastmasters or something a little less full on is a great idea. I told you guys how i have gotten so much courage by doing the littlest thing like going to the gym around a lot of people by myself, and it has helped me a crap load!!

Are you quite comfortable doing most things like going to the shops or anywhere by yourself? If not i reckon you try that at least to start with and then work your way up.

You definitely have the strength mentally to do it.

Remember you can't let this take over your life.

Go on and do it cause i know you can.

Gook luck mate 

[GMan86]

That takes alot of guts rachel. I had to do a presentation this year in one of my courses and I managed to pull through. I know you can do it as well. Good luck.

[o-ren]

Ah, the dreaded presentation day of where not only you speak of humility in front of other people who judge you but also from yourself.  Did you know that according to World Statistics that the most common fear of man/woman is public speaking?   To get nervous, scared and feel vulnerable is common for about 3 billion people in the world Rachel, but to surpass this with your condition and situation proves that God himself created such strong and remarkable beings.   


You make momma proud.    

[pinky5]

Janey, GMan, and Ryan,

Thanks so much. Your words are inspiring me to try harder.

Janey,
I'm comfortable going around doing the day to day things like shopping, although I used to get really freaked out if I had to wait in a checkout lane.

GMan,
Congratulations on doing a presentation this year!

Ryan,
I have heard that statistic that more people fear public speaking more than anything else, except maybe death. I recently read a quote from Jerry Seinfield "At a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket, than giving the eulogy."

Rachel

[o-ren]

haha, I actually just remembered that episode.  I think thats where I got it, I must have not been consiously aware but it is there.   Now that you have mentioned it,  I am also looking to join Toastmasters, I have just realized that in any situation that I am in, I will always be publicly speaking.  It's quite ironic that a person with SAD works as a Business Analyst and talk in front of people and meet clients everyday.    It's so difficult, unberable and challenging and it shouldn't have to be.

I hope I will see you publicly speak in a stadium someday Rachel  , like Tony Robbins.

[NightOwl]

So how did it go?

I used to hate those, but once you finish and get out of there, you feel soooooooo relaxed usually.  lol

[pinky5]

NightOwl,

Thanks for asking.Too soon to say. My English class seems to be running way behind schedule, so not sure when we will be doing it. Maybe this coming week.

Rachel

 

[mprinceton]

hi Rachel,


How did the Presentation end up going? I'm sure you did just fine and ended up surprisng yoruself as to how well you did. I found a drug "Propanynol" it's just a simple drug that keeps your heart rate for going sky high always helped me. I know exactly where you're comming from and still don't know how I made it through the presentations I had in College.

[pinky5]

mprinceton,

Thanks for asking about the presentation. I'm ashamed to admit that in the end I did avoid doing it and still got an A in the class. Quite disappointed in myself, but just being in college is so much of a challenge to me, I have decided to not beat myself up about it. Will try harder next time. I think if it were something that was more interesting to me I might have an easier time with it.

Good for you for getting through college!!

Rachel

[lt33]

Hi Rachel,

Maybe you shouldn't be ashamed of having avoided it, you did try hard.

I also have SAD, and allthough speaking with people individually doesn't usually bother me, I have problems with speaking in public. I always tried that not to stop me of doing what I must, and that included some public presentations that were required to finish some classes. Up to now I managed to do that, allthough it is one of the most difficult things for me to do (I get shacky, sweat, talk irregularly, feel sick and about to faint, etc.).
I did a couple of presentations that turned out ok, but usually I have anxiety just by being in class (fearfull of the panick attacks), and that led me to miss classes completely this term, I don't know yet how I will finish college, and for the time being that's my main problem.

Anyway, excuse me the personal detour, I think that it's great to deal with it as assertively as you are but that taking it too hard on ourselves will probably not help, since it increases the pressure so much.

[pinky5]

It33,

Thanks so much for the words of support and for sharing your school experiences. I'm sorry that you're having a tough time and you're not in school this term, but just remember that you have already been successful in this area and that you can do it! I really admire how brave you have been to do presentations.

I know what you are saying about being fearful of having a panic attack in class, I just tell myself that if I get feeling too bad I can leave anytime I want. I don't have to offer an explanation, I can just grab my bag and go. People leave early from class often, no one thinks anything of it.

You are right about being hard on ourselves not helping. That is something that I am working on still. I am trying to be positive and give myself credit for every small challenge that I face. I just have to believe that things will be easier as I work through them.

Rachel

[lt33]

Hi Rachel,

(Reading my own post some days later I thought it sounded a bit critical/judgemental. It really wasn't, just me expressing myself poorly, so please disregard that part...)

Lately I have though about the being hard on yourself issue and got to the conclusion it has made me stay put instead of going many times, so I'm now trying to change that as well, and, instead of building high expectations, just go for it as distracted as possible.
Although I often give up when I'm almost there, there are times in which I handle it, and, like you, I try to give myself credit for it.
Just like not doing things make us feel bad, we should celebrate success as well!   

This school I'm in, both students and teachers are strange there, so I'm not really confortable about being around.
Last year there was a class where I explained a teacher why I'd leave so often (packed classroom...). She acted as an understanding person, but by time of evaluation I was given the same low grade as the students who didn't even show up in class, nevermind doing all the works I did (including one public presentation that was very hard for me to do...). And that made me feel bad. Was I in the know of how that class evaluation worked and I wouldn't have bothered showing up at all.

There's the second semester soon, so I still hope to finish it and move on with life. (Thinking of leaving the country as well)

Wish you luck with school. It surely would be great for us to get that sorted out for good!

[frenchpastry]

Ugh, I hate doing presentations in front of the class. I usually try to do everything in my power not to do it at all. I skip those days when we have to do it, or if I still end up having to do it, I just say no. I mean, I've done presentations mutliple times, but I've also had to go to the nurse more times for anxiety attacks. How embarrasing.

I have to take a Speech class next year in college, and I have no idea what I'm going to do. I mean, I can't just talk to the teacher or anything and try to get out of it.. it's a speech class!

Good luck with your presentations. I think you're strong for trying.