Does Anxiety ever interfeer with your relationship?

[Nanoo]

Why is it some days I can seriously look at my boyfriend and say I love him and want his children, and then hours later feel like my feeling changed. It's like a light switch that is turned on and then gets turned off...
Has anyone ever experienced this before.. I am almost obsessed about it.

[Snuz]

My anxiety makes me overly emotional. It affects all my relationships negatively. It's worse the more anxious I am and also the more I'm ignoring and not dealing with the anxiety.

[ajzapfel]

My anxiety makes me feel like I have to be happy, romantic, and not a problem the entire time I am with someone. I feel as though if I have a bad day or am upset they will leave me because I am too much work. I also get bad anxiety attacks thinking the person is cheating on me or does not want to be with me anymore.

Its tough

[FeelingOptimistic]

Anxiety has affected my relationship in many ways.  I often feel guilty about that.  But feeling guilty is also a symptom of anxiety.

Feeling Optimistic (most of the time!)

[Nanoo]

I am still feeling like one day I am in Love and another I am not. This is very difficult. I need to be strong and make up my mind. I really don't know what to do. When I am unsure that tells me not to make any decisions, until I am sure!

[lr2412]

I know exactly what you mean.  I am currently struggling with the same feelings - in love one moment, questioning my feelings the next.  It is horrible.  I wish I had an answer as to how to stop the rollercoaster.  It would certainly make things easier on both of us.  All I have to offer is to tell you that you are not alone.

[Penny10]

I used to use relationships to manage my anxiety and depression. When I was depressed or anxious I would fall in love with someone and that would work!! I did not do this maliciously, I simply did not know that anxiety was the root of my discontent. It always felt like a very natural thing to do and indeed I think it is without alternatives. Self preservation is very natural and healthy.. obviously. With antidepressants and Benzos I do not need to rely on creating my own brain chemical stabilizer by creating new relationships that cause those nice "in love feelings". I still feel out of love often but now I wait, and after a while those feelings come back. What keeps me in my long-term relationship is knowing that my partner is a good man, and he cares about me, and he is my friend. I look to those things when my feelings are in question. I don't know if we make the best partners sometimes...

[Chunky]

The short answer:  Does Anxiety every interfere with your relationship?  H*** YES 

The long answer:  I can relate to a lot of whats been said in this thread.  In the past before I spent a lot of time with a good therapist I never understood like Penny said that anxiety was the reason I was so unhappy.  I had such a need to control my life and everything in it and every imperfection no matter how small could send me into fits.  And I mean literally screaming, throwing things, and real abuse.  I was horrible to live with.  I know this because I was even harder on myself and even I couldnt stand to live with me.  It's a miracle my husband stuck around through it all.  When I found my therapist half the time I talked to her I kept my hands over my face because I was so ashamed of the things I was telling her.  Finally I found a medication that worked for me and between the medication and the therapy those voices in my head quieted down.  I'd never thought like a sane person before and it was unbelievable the difference it made.  Unfortunately I had to give up my meds due to side effects.  Now instead of focusing on my hb and his imperfections I can't let go of the guilt and shame I feel for what I've put him thru in the past and how now I feel like all I'm doing is pulling him down.  He seems to contribute so much more while I struggle just to get a few simple jobs done every day.  I want to be a good listener and a support to him but when he tells me whats bothering him it worries me more and then I start worrying that he'll lose it too, and I wont be healthy enough to carry the load for him like he's doing now, for me.  I feel worthless a lot of the time and the worst part is, I get so obsessed with those feelings that when we do have private time to spend together it distracts me and keeps me from completely being there for him, which just makes the feelings worse, its like a self perpetuating cycle.  I know he has his faults but its hard for me to recognize them because I'm so conscious of my own.  Sometimes I even wish he'd do something unforgivable so I could forgive him, then at least I'd feel like I'd earned everything he'd done for me.  Now how crazy is that??
My sister and her live-in boyfriend both have errrr various disorders and take a whole pharmacy of meds between them.  Life sure must be interesting in their house.  But at times I swear I envy them because hey, at least they understand each other.

My hb said he knew I was crazy when he married me, he loved me then and he loves me now.  We've been together now for 15 years.  So I try to remind myself that as hard as it is for me to see, I must be doing something right.

[Krisse]

Anxiety has always interfered in my relationships, but I met and married a man at 24 that was so supportive and really helped keep my anxiety in check.  We've been married for 6 years (together 10) and I am now 31.  At the beginning, I took Paxil, which I believe really stabilized my mood and panic attacks.  Once we were married and thinking about a baby I switched to Lexapro and am now on Zoloft.  I can definitely say that when I'm NOT on the correct dose, I start worrying things that don't make sense...

"Do I really love him?  Are we meant to be together?"

Because we've always been so close, I've always shared these fears/thoughts with him.  I've even called him while he was on a golf trip and said, "I don't know if I love you and maybe we should divorce."  Even though in my mind I NEVER wanted that, I panicked and freaked out by the illogical feelings of not being in love with him that very moment (or so I thought).  That hasn't been easy on him, but we've always managed to work through it and realize it's the anxiety talking.

Now, fast forward a few years.....still don't have a baby.  I'm very scared to go through pregnancy/childbirth/raising a child because of my panic disorder.  Will I fall apart, be unstable, able to handle the stress?

Recently, my husband shared with me his concerns.  He recently was promoted at work and due to an "in house" unethical decision by a colleague, my husband has been picking up the slack and basically trying to put the pieces back together, dealing with examiners, etc.  He's been STRESSED OUT, tired, working late, working on days off, along with everyone else at the company.

In the last two months, he's seemed distant.  I asked him about it and he blamed it all on work stress, but this weekend finally admitted it's a bit more.  He wants to advance in this career, which would bring on more stress at times, which he worries will be difficult for me to handle (it HAS been hard on me lately).  He also said he wants to be able to travel with me (I'm not too into traveling, like my comfort zone), and he can't picture himself not having a baby (I think I want one, but am scared because of the disorder). 

So, he says he doesn't want to wake up 30 years from now and have nothing in common and have us miss out on things we want to do.  I don't know if it's just this immense amount of work stress or if my anxiety is making him question things.  We love each other so much and he's asked me to be patient (which he's done for me when I've felt anxious/disconnected).  The problem is, I'm scared to death he's going to come home one day and tell me he wants a divorce.

Has anyone dealt with a situation similar to this one that would be willing to offer tips and advice.  I feel like my whole world is crashing down right now.  Then, I think....'I've done this to him before, always wanted to work things out, but needed some "me" time.'  My husband has always been my biggest cheerleader.  How do I assume the role he's been taking on for so long?  The one of the supporter/the one who has to be patient?

[Penny10]

Have a baby!!!! anxiety is a small thing in the big world. My mother had untreated anxiety disorder and she was a great mom!! Anxiety should not keep us from the real joys of life. Anxiety is not insanity its just a strange misdirection..I am telling you this because I avoided having kids because i was afraid. I waited until I was 43 to try and have kids. It was too late and I was devastated. Anxiety disorder is a very real thing. It kept me from having a baby until I was properly diagnosed and treated. It was a bit late but at least I can pass that on to you. You will never regret having a baby. Do you have any other concerns? Is there an  issue with your husband? I mean is there another reason apart from your concerns about anxiety disorder that you are addressing? That is my impression.

[Krisse]

Thanks for your advice, Penny!

My hubby and I seem to be going through a rough patch.  I think my anxiety has really taken a toll on him and it's built up.  We love each other very much, but the anxiety has gotten in the way of many things.....having babies, traveling, even our sex life (thanks to the wonderful SSRI's).  I guess I never realized how important all these things were to him until he really thought about it.  The *only* reason I haven't had a baby is because I'm scared.  Scared of everything from pregnancy to childbirth to raising it.  I just don't want to fall apart.  Unfortunately, when I do experience anxiety, I focus it on my relationship with him.  It has ALWAYS been this way.... even with old boyfriends, so I know my anxiety is just displacing my fears onto our marriage.  We're actually going to counseling tomorrow to get through this.  He would make a wonderful father, and I can see him running in the yard chasing a little one!  I just always worry about the future and think, "if I was making all the right decisions, then why would I have anxiety?" So, it makes me question things....I think too much!

[yeahnah]

No, I don't have one 

[sarahlee20]

I can say yes and no. It didn't really start to affect me/us until i saw the extent of our relationship the more we got to know each other. We've been together lmost 1yr 7months  now 5 more months will be 2 years . we really started seeing each other for who each other  was.At times i did  have are feelings of overwhelming and wonder can i do it? I love him but I am just confused feeling. I've had it. However all we needed was a good talk and some letting go and realizing we were what we were. Now that we're accepting that and loving each other that overwhelming feeling disappeared. I think it's not only some part of anxiety but also some parts of really being with someone and loving them for them. I think whether you have ANXIETY or not I think all couples cross that path. But none the less  we're still going strong and still very much in love and totally commited to eachother . If you have a great wonderful guy like i have. Don't let him get away