The Party Invitation

[pinky5]

     Last night my aunt called while I was cooking dinner and invited me and my boyfriend to her 60th birthday party. I think that it's interesting that even though my anxiety is for the most part much better, my initial reaction to these things is still. "NO I DON'T WANT TO GO!!! Before I have even really had the chance to think about whether or not I do want to go there is this little kid inside me having a total tantrum and raging against going. I was posting about the little kid inside us that is doing their best to protect us still from things that happened so long ago in another thread recently.

    Often I relate myself to a cat that has been startled and has bolted up a tree to avoid danger. Before I have even had a moment  to think, there I am, up the tree, hiding. From what? Not always sure. I just know that the calm adult part of me spends a lot of time talking myself out of that tree.

    A couple of hours went by and I called my aunt back and told her machine that we would be there, even though we can't be there at 7 when the party starts. We will probably be able to get there by 9, after everyone has already arrived. Oh well that will just up the challenge, right? I am just using my usual bag of tricks on myself, telling myself that we will go and if I feel toooooo uncomfortable we can leave anytime.

     So for anyone out there struggling with something like this, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in it. You can do it! Go to that party, even if it's just for a little while.

     I was thinking about what would be the opposite of what I usually feel about going to these things. It would be excited and happy and looking forward to it. It would be glad that I am invited. I think I am going to decide to go as that person because that would support me in having a much better time and being happy.

Rachel

[kiara]

thanks for sharing that story with us rachel it definitaly makes sense when you compare with a cat bolting up a tree and not even knowing why your up there i do that too! i hope you have a really good experiance at the party the more good experiances you have the better it will get !

[o-ren]

That is a great inspiration for everyone here who are experiencing SAD.  We all know how difficult it can be to do simple things because anxiety controls our lives.  Deep down, we are all kitties. 

[Janey]

Hey Rachel,

I think you have a positive frame of mind in the fact that you want to fix this and you want to go.

This might be the ice breaker and really give you a chance to get back out there to enjoy yourself.

Good luck and make sure you try to have fun and let us all know how you go.

Janey   

[apple]

I get that feeling for overnight things, dread and terror and no reason for it.  Congrats on your strength to try and overcome!!

[pinky5]

Thanks everybody for the words of support. I can hardly wait for Saturday night. ha! 

Rachel

[GMan86]

Your a very strong individual Rachel. Thats very inspirational to hear. I look up to you hun! Go get 'em!

[pinky5]

Thanks GMan, you're a sweetie!

Rachel   

[pinky5]

Hello everyone,

Well, tonight was the party and I arrived feeling pretty nervous, but also glad to be out and going to something, instead of hiding at home where I feel safe (and bored). Had a couple sweaty/anxious moments, but just went to a lower light situation. Pushed myself to talk to a couple of people that I didn't know and ended up meeting some interesting people.
I had a really good time, and was glad that I went. I told myself that I could leave anytime that I wanted to, but I didn't want to and ended up being one of the last ones to go.

I read something a while ago that I thought was really great.
                             "Courage is doing something that you're afraid to do."

I want to live my life doing the things that I'm afraid to do and I think if I do this after a while, there won't be anything left that I am afraid to do.

Thanks everyone for the support.

Rachel

[apple]

Rachel I'm glad it went well!! 
I like that idea of doing what your afraid of.  Hard to practice but worth the effort.

Good on ya!!

[Janey]

Good on you Rachel!!!!

This is the start of something great for you.

I think that first hurdle is always the worst.

Just think from now on how well it went for you and how easy it was.

Congrats to you 

[o-ren]

kudos Rach. 

[GMan86]

Great job Rachel. That quote does really hold its weight because anybody can back down to fear, but its those who look at it square in the eyes and say I'm not going to let this beat me. Awesome job, proud of you!

[pinky5]

Thanks for the words of support. I really appreciate them.

Rachel