hello
I am new to this forum and having read the forum list I can quite safely say I have experienced : Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Hypochondria (Health Anxiety), Clinical Depression, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - some being mild others more prominent
I found this site interesting in realising other people experiencing similar feelings
I wanted to discuss something that perhaps others would relate to - particuarly if you are from England
I was born in London - have lived here all my life and have never liked it - and am only still here because I want to finish my degree before I go to Italy to find work.
I have family in Italy who me and my family every so often go down there to visit during a holiday : and over the years I have realised the difference between our family & the families of our cousins
Despite my oncle always complaining about it here and wanting to go to Italy - he is still here as he has a family, and a wife who is not interested in Italy -so perhaps in a sense he feels stuck here.
I don't want to bore everyone - so I'll get more to the point
In bringing up his kids, I have noticed the difference between the way they do it in Italy and England
there are certain things that make me angry - in the sense that the way they are bringing up their kids shapes how they will be whe they are older
I have wrote a least of points of both in relation to my cousins and myself
main points:
the things he says to kids
"careful you might fall over" (when child around 3 is playing)
when kids are laughing and playing "right that's enough now" making an excuse to stop playing by saying "your near the television it's dangerous"
when the kid wants to play with him "go and watch a cartoon"
when the kid wants to outside and play "no it's cold, there's the naughty man, there this, theres that etc"
"say please" [this is interesting - as in Italy when you ask for a coke for example you say "Uno coca" [one coke] - my aunty was trying to make my cousin to say please to be polite -but the point is they just don't use superficial politeness]
and he says to me:
when driving "slow down" , "careful", "don't go to fast" [it's almost as if there is a danger that I might actually want to get somewhere] - in Italy you have no choice but to drive fast - the pace of life is faster, whereas people here live liked their repressed (under the thumb of the British)
I'm sure everybody has heard of "The British Reserve"
well in comapring the way of life here to there - I can see that all of these small things are what shape a child/person into being British/Reserved - whereas my cousins in Italy are happy, laughing, happy go lucky, everybody goes out in the evenings - whereas here people tend to stay indoors
and a distinct thing I remember is my cousin (from England) when we were at our cousins in Italy - she didn't want to play with the italian kids - not because of the language barrier - but because they were so much more full of life / my cousin looked depressed in comparison
It is in noticing these things that I have a growing hatred of the place - in the sense that people are brought up to be polite, reserved, quite, yes please,
and in being here I feel trapped - I know you might say then just leave - which is exactly what I'm doing - but I just wanted to share my thoughts and observations with others
Rich
