I almost feel bad posting this, but I feel like I just can't get past it...

[justanothernervousgirl]

Please, please, please realize I'm not trying to give anybody another story to reference when they're afraid they're really sick. It's not my intention, and I'll feel really bad if it ends up used that way.

I was sick for 7 years. I couldn't eat anything without becoming physically ill afterward. I was exhausted, I got headaches daily, and I caught every cold, flu, and virus that went around. I had a fever more often than a normal body temperature. Countless visits to the ER, Urgent Care, and doctor after doctor. They all gave me a temporary diagnosis, or would just say there was nothing wrong with me. For years, all I heard from my teachers, friends, and even family members, was that I was a hypochondriac, and it was all in my head. All I ever heard from doctors (if I didn't have a flu or virus at the time) was that I was healthy.

Ends up, it wasn't all in my head, like everybody told me. I had multiple undiagnosed food allergies (including one to wheat, which most people eat every meal, it's in so many foods). I also found out that a medication I took daily for 5 of those years contained wheat in it as well.

So, with a special diet, all should be well, right?

I keep coming down with crazy symptoms. Not a day goes by where I don't have some sort of stomach pain, chest pain, muscle cramps, tingling, pain on my right side, migraine, these sharp headaches that only last 15 seconds, blurry vision, ringing in my ears, joint pain, vein pain.... I'm sure you've heard similar lists. And I'm always so sure it's serious, or life-threatening.

I realize that my health anxiety is most likely the cause of a lot, if not all, of these. My anxiety levels are through the roof. I've always been fairly anxious, and I suffer from a long list of phobias. I started becoming anxious about my health after the diagnosis. Every twinge in my body, every ache and pain, started to scare me. I took to Google with every symptom. I read about all these diseases, becoming more and more sure that I currently had whatever I was reading about, and it made the symptoms worse. After several months of this, I came across an article on health anxiety. It made sense.

The question is: How am I supposed to get past this? It's hard for everyone, I'm certain, but in my case, I was told for 7 years that it was all in my head, and it wasn't. Even though I realize that now it is in my head, with every new symptom and every clean bill of health from a doctor, I can't help but think, "What if all the doctors missed this, too?" The thought and the anxiety are taking over my happiness, my symptoms, and my life.

Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated.

[Nina000]

I think what is going on is that you were told you had nothing wrong with you in your past to only realize it was something wrong. Then to have these issues, you are feeling the past creeping up on you again. I personally would be going through the same exact thing you would be going through. I too am in the "what if" part of my anxiety. I keep telling myself, what if this is it and I dont seek  help. Or, what if I dont focus on this issue? Will I die? Will I wake up the next day? Its all apart of my OCD. I also wanted to add that you are not alone. The anxiety seems to take over your whole life and its so hard to take back what you used to have. Only thing that is best for you right now it acceptance. The isolated issue that you had was allergy related. These other issues that you are having are anxiety related. I know people usually tell you to trust your instincts but in this case, its anxiety. Your doctors need to earn your trust back considering it was something that was not caught earlier on. It will take time. Try talking to a therapist. It might help you more than you know.

[shrublet]

Hello,

First of all, thanks for the disclaimer.

Is your allergy to wheat considered celiac disorder? The thing with food allergies is that MOST people will have them- and a LOT of people have allergies to wheat. Maybe not to the extent that you do, but you'd be surprised. I have an allergy to wheat and I like bread too much so I just don't care...   But regardless. A couple of my friends have celiac and it took them a long, long time to be "diagnosed" with it. A lot of doctors, unfortunately, consider food allergy stuff best left to the nutritionists and naturopaths. It's just not in the forefront of their mind.

The thing is, doctors just don't miss the really big stuff that you're now worrying about. Life is not an episode of House! I know you feel like you've lost some trust with the medical profession, but please try not to. You have to trust your doctors. I agree with you that anxiety is causing a lot of your current body complaints. The fact that you realize that is really great! That's a big step. Is it fair to say that the whole thing (or most of it) keeping you in the health anxiety trap is the lack of trust you have now? Maybe it would be worthwhile to talk to a doctor that you really trust and be really honest with how you're feeling. Maybe the doctor could explain why so many doctors missed your food allergies, and how legions of doctors don't just miss something that's really serious. That might ease your mind a bit.

You might also benefit from reading Pan's sticky called "Accepting the Diagnosis" if you haven't already.

[justanothernervousgirl]

Nina000 -   Thanks for your support. What-ifs are so frustrating. I have considered seeing a therapist, but I don't want the family member that carries my insurance to know I'm going to therapy. I'm afraid it's too expensive without insurance.  

Schrublet - You eat bread with your wheat allergy? Lucky.   I'd do the same if I could. Nope, mine's not Celiacs. Celiacs isn't technically an allergy, oddly enough, but an intolerance to the protein gluten, which is found in wheat, rye, and barley. Getting a diagnosis on that is nearly impossible if you don't request testing for it specifically. I was tested for it, came out negative. Still eat gluten free because I don't know what in wheat I'm allergic to.   I wouldn't say most of my anxiety is because of the lack of trust in doctors, but a portion of it is. I have a doctor I (mostly) trust for now, which is nice. Haven't read the book yet, thanks for the recommendation.  

[Nina000]

I think personally if we find a doctor that we do like and feel comfortable with, we might not have so many issues. At least a doctor that is understanding to the issues as well. For me, its embarrassing to come out and say that I am a hypochondriac. Its also embarrassing to say that I have really bad anxiety. SO its hard for me to open up to someone about myself. This is another reason why I can't be social as much as I used to. I used to be a social butterfly, now I'm all wrapped up in a cocoon. I'm hoping I will break free and enjoy life again. AS of right now its not that easy. Hopefully I will get my time and actually trust a doctor. Then I wont want to move ever again lol. I also wanted to add that I too had an issue and I thought it was anxiety, it was actually my ribs that were out. Although there was swelling where the cartilage is, it also helped my back pains that I had for years. It was all because of my ribs. Many doctors told me it was stress and anxiety that hurt my back so much. You wouldn't believe how much better I feel after 15 minutes of realigning compared to 7 years of pain.

The therapist issue can be easily resolved by finding someone that will take a sliding scale and go by your income if you would rather be discreet about it. I wish you the best of luck.