Deployed to Afghanistan Husband, Depression and GAD

[ainsecuregirl]

Okay, so I don't expect my husband to be an expert on depression or GAD. But is it too much to ask that he at least educate himself a bit about it???

My hubby is currently deployed to Afghanistan. My grandfather died about two weeks before he was set to deploy, which both of those were very traumatic for me. It was during this time that my husband suggested that I see someone because I would go from being happy to depressed and crying over nothing in one hour, which was not like me.

What I hadn't told him was that I had been diagnosed with depression before. I didn't think to mention it because I had hoped I was over it, and I mean, how do you exactly say that to your new husband?

Anywho, fast forward, I've been to a shrink and been diagnosed with Major Depression and GAD. I'm seeing a therapist and am on medication. BUT I just had a huge fight with my husband online that started about money, and devolved into him telling me to grow out of the "funk" I am in, which he meant my depression. I'm also a cutter, and he figured that simply telling me to "stop" would do it. It was obvious that everytime I had been telling him about depression or the medication I am on, he wasn't listening. So I ended up yelling at him about how if he had been listening, he would understand somewhat.

He admitted that he's just not able to grasp psychiatry. He's also a very positive person who seems to have EXCELLENT luck and never had a problem with depression, etc.

So I'm wondering to all, is it too much to expect with my husband deployed for him to understand my depression? And is there really any way to drive it home to him that this is just something that happened because he's deployed? It makes it worse, but I AM NOT doing it for attention. He's also suggested that my piercings and tattoos are an extension of my self mutilation, which while technically true, that is not the reason I got them. I did so because I like them.

BTW, my husband is not as bad as he sounds. He's a dream otherwise. And I miss him terribly.

Megan

[concrete_angel]

Not be judgmental on the men...

But some times men have a harder time accepting that there is such a thing as depression.. It's like the crying thing with men. We humans have put it in our male children to be strong and not show emotion. Cause it show a side of weakness, when in fact that it is not. Getting back to the depression and all. Some family avoid the subject of depression and other types of metal health issues. It's like a type of phobia in a way..

I am married to a great man.. He treats me like a princess. But when it comes to my depression and etc.. He looks at me like I'm talking a different language here. I tell him that I feel depressed and his responds is always, "Why". I like know why I'm depressed. LOL. Panic attacks and the consent worrying I do gets to him to. He tells me, "Why worry or there is no need to get upset over some thing you can't change. Thats not the point here, that's just me I tell him all the time.

Just remember, even if he does not understand your depression and GAD. That does not mean that you have to feel alone. You have great people here that understand the struggles that you face each day.. So remember to reach out to others around you in your time of need