I feel I have been robbed.

[1mom2angels]

Hi everyone im 23 years old married to a very wonderfull and supportive husband and have 2 very beautiful children. We dont have all the money in the world but just a few months ago I felt very blessed and happy. Then we took our daughter to the movies and I experianced a panic attack which at the time I had no idea what it was. The ride home was just awful as soon as I got home I threw up and had horrible diareah I thought I was dying I even told my husband Im dying. i thought i had food poisening or somthing. Then several days later I got my infant son to sleep and went to go to bed myself when It started happening again. I felt as if i went to sleep I would die in my sleep so I stayed up intill 4am when i finally passed out to sleep. After that I have been plauged with daily panic attacks. I went to my dr. and i had a attack right there in his office. He put me on Busbar and a beta blocker. I took it for 3 weeks with no effect at all I still had the attacks. He then put me on Paxil. Im starting my 2nd week now I still feel very anxious and tired my arms feel tense and weak and the back of my neck feels very hot. but havnt had a attack since sunday. But im not bragging just yet. I will not leave my home. Im scared to. I feel like this panic disorder has robbed me from my life and my kids and myhusband. I just want to go back to that great mommy I used to be just a few short months ago. I hate to think I have to live with this for years to come. This has made me severaly depressed even thoughts of suacide. The paxil has seemed to help with that though cause I havnt called my husband to race home from work before I do somthing stupid. I have even told him im jelouse of him cause he can just go jump in the car with no worries about if your going to have a attack or not. I have had 1 attack recently where I did pass out luckily I was at my parents when it happend and not home alone with the kids. My dr reccomended therapy but were barley surviving as it is. I do not have that kind of money.

[BCadd15]

Wow, It seems that the panic is hitting you pretty hard. I've been dealing with panic attacks for the last 2 years and feel the same way sometimes. I actually feel constant tension all the time in my chest which causes me to think that there is something wrong with my heart.
  What I have learned from many books, forums, and experience is that worry and fear make impossible to recover from panic attacks. Panic attacks are fueled by us worrying about what is happening to us. Do you find yourself worrying a lot? Whatever sensation, feeling, or thought that we have directly results in whether our panics are worse or get better. I get lightheaded, dizzy, chest pressure, tightness in chest, nausea, and many other things. The more I focus on my sensations, the worse they get. When you get your sensation, acknowledge it and then let it pass by realizing there is no danger. I got a book called Panic Away that really helped out. Also, you need to take action immediately by seeking out help and changing your thought patterns before you allow it to get worse. Trust me, I wish I could go back to my first panic attack and allow it just to pass. Now, its a constant thing that I deal with from minute to minute. Do whatever you can to seek help! You will be fine, and just keep telling yourself that! If you've been checked out by a doctor and nothing has been found than trust in the doctors.

[jwinn]

I know how you feel as the exact same thing happened to me but it started when my first son was very young.  It went away for a couple years only to come back after the birth of my second daughter.  I would like you to know that there are clinics that offer reduced and no cost services for you.  Please ask your doctor or call social services to find out about this.  It can put a severe strain on your relationship with your husband and it is frustrating knowing he doesn't understand.  It also can make you feel bad because your so scared your going to panic and do something bad around your kids or get upset and hurt their feelings so on and so on.  Meds can be a tricky thing sometimes it takes several attempts to find the right one.  I am currently on buspar and xanax after being on lexapro and xanax.  This current one seems to be more effective but one thing that works for one person may not work for the next.  You will be okay just keep doing what your doing and keep up hope it can take sometimes months to get the medications just right but I am sure that you will!  Also if you have anything that calms you try doing that when you begin to feel panicky.  I personally use music, yoga and boxing a punching bag.  Not the same thing will work for everyone, I have heard everything from running to crocheting to gosh knows what that people use to help themselves calm down.  You will get through this!  This is a great step you have taken in getting better just by coming here there are lots of wonderful people that will be happy to listen and give advice to you.  Good luck hun, you will be okay.

[1mom2angels]

thanks for the replys! yes i do beleive it has hit me hard I have always hated drama and this has caused alot of drama in my life. My poor husband tries to understand and he is concerned but i think he is just getting so tired of hearing about it everyday. but i feel like i have nobody else to talk to. The thing  do not like about the paxil is it makes me feel kinda cloudy...like my head isnt completly clear. this weekend my mom wants me to go to the mall with her im so nervouse of even thinking of leaving my house.

[DIESEL]

Hi, I have dealt with all of your symptoms and many many more.
The fear that your going to die if you fall asleep definitely sucks.
I've gotten myself past that one for the most part. (still get it sometimes)
The best therapy I have found is talking with others who have the same problems as you do (like posting on here or reading what others have posted).
After all, who can help more than someone experiencing the same thing.
Everyday is just a constant struggle.
Different meds work for different people.
Paxil didn't work well for me, but has worked well for many others.
What you need to realize is that that 'cloudy' feeling you get is the medication working to distract your mind.
Many people find it hard to focus when taking certain medications and it is for a good reason, the medication is keeping you from focusing on your symptoms.
Try to think of it as a good thing and that the medication is supposed to be doing this.
I have been dealing with anxiety for over four years now, started when I was 27.
If you need a fast acting medication to have on hand ask your doctor about xanax or klonopin.
They work within 15 minutes. (for anxiety as opposed to most of these other meds which are more for depression)
It's good to have if you feel you are going to have an attack if you leave the house. Sometimes it can just help knowing that you have them if you need them.
The paxil is more of a time released med to have in your system that is constantly working to help you.
Try to keep your mind preoccupied on the day your mom is coming. Whatever works for you to keep you distracted.
Hope this helps.