Hello! I'm new :)

[Goober1312]

Hello,
I am a new poster here and just wanted to say hi/give a little of my background info.

A little over a year ago, I started my senior year of college. My boyfriend unexpectedly (I'm talking totally out of the blue here!) broke up with me. I assumed that we'd get back together, and when I began to realize it wasn't going to happen, my world kind of came crashing down on my head. My boyfriend and I shared many of the same friends, so it was hard for me to just "get away" from him - I was always hearing his name and spending time with people who were mutual friends. It was a very, very difficult situation for me and caused me to start having panic attacks. I felt like everything I'd planned on for the future was gone. It was like my entire life had been taken away from me. I never understood before how people got so upset over breakups, but now I do. I have never been one of those girls who is dependent on a guy for support   and I had many other friends to lean on...but it was still very traumatic.

Around the late spring, just as I thought I was beginning to really heal from that, it was time to graduate. I never realized how much graduating would affect me. Again, I felt like my world had turned upside down. My close friends were far away and all I could keep thinking was "things will never be the same." I again began having panic attacks and major anxiety again.

I'm now working full time and living at home because 1) I'm saving money and 2) I don't feel like I'm ready to live alone considering my family is my only support system here. (None of my close friends are living in my home town and I didn't keep contact with a lot of people from high school.) As far as anxiety goes, I'm trying to learn how to deal with it on a daily basis, because I've realized it will always be a part of my life, and if I don't learn how to manage it now, I won't make it through all the challenges that life has to offer!  

Thanks for "listening"  ;)

[sheknits]

Hi Goober!

I read your story and it really resonated with me. Particularly your break up. I am going through a divorce right now, so I know how your whole world and future plans can just disappear like that. It's a scary thing.  I separated from my ex about 5 months ago which was the easy part (considering he cheated on me) but the strange thing is that the new guy I'm dating has become a trigger for my panic attacks. What's even stranger is that its going really well with him, but I almost don't like to hear from him or walk past places we've been together. I screen his calls because "in case he dumps me" i don't have to hear it live and in person. It's almost too painful to be reminded of him and how good things are....because I'm afraid its going to end abruptly. Much like my relationship with my ex-husband and several relationships with nurturing figures in my childhood.

I know how you feel in that I've never felt that dependent on men. It's more like the guarantees and safety that I have become accustomed to...or rather addicted to. It's not a great feeling.

I never realized what i was feeling was anxiety. I just thought it was normal.
 

It will get better now that we know what the problem is and we can deal with it. Rock on Goober!

[z99]

hello, I'm even newer than you! Believe it or not knowing you have a problem is the first step in solving it. You're doing great. Best wishes as you navigate this crazy world.

 :love:

[lilbluinsomniac]

  i'm so sorry about your breakup! that must have been difficult, college is a challenge anyway. it sounds already like he lost something great when he left you. i'm new too, so this isn't quite real to me yet. but best luck in your life and healing.

[Sassyfur98]

This is probably the oldes clliche in the book, but works for me is......Everything happens for a reason.  My husband also cheated on me (together 7 years) so many times I still dont know how I didnt end up with some STD.  When one, or I should say 2, of his girlfriends became pregnant within 1 month of each other, I didnt  think I would be able to go on.  I had 3 kids, no college education.  what was I going to do?!!!!  Well, I did it a day at a time.  Looking back now, that was the best damned thing that ever happened to me.  What a freeking looooooooooser.  I cant believe I wasted 7 years of my life on him.  Thank god he got those girls pregnant, otherwise I would have wasted even more years.  I am now remarried to the most wonderful man in the world.  (I am not joking) and have 2 more kids.  Boys. (the first 3 were girls, and needless to say Iwanted a boy sooooo bad.   Oh yah,   guess what my ex had.......2 boys).  Looking back, I would not change one single day of crying, one single day of hatred, or one single day of self pitty.  Why?  That is exactly what made me who I am today.  And if I do say so myself, I am a pretty darned good person.  I have great kids, (no thanks to my ex-husband) and a great life.  Remember, and I know it is hard, but adversity really does build character.  As long as you can learn from your experiences and mistakes, none of them will be bad.....
Good Luck....

[GMan86]

Best of luck to you! 

[anxiousinfla]

 

And keep posting. Lot of help here.