Hey Ecnal,
While the thought of telling your families and friends about your condition sounds dreadful, I feel that it is necessary for you to find comfort within your own home and your close friends. If you can't trust your family, whom can you trust? Don't be scared of what they will think because you are family and they will understand. Maybe confused at first, but at the end they will see things your way.
I have been suffering SAD for about 4 years now. I have made a post about how I beat anxiety, not 100% gone but it is deteriorating. I still have some paranoia left in me but it's not as bad as before. I can go out in public now and not worry about SAD. Here is the link
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,1555.0.html I was on Celexa for about 5 months and felt horrible. I hated antidepressant due to its high-risk side effects but they can sometimes work for other people. That being said, it does not mean that they do not work at all. For me however it made things worst, so I tried conditioning myself rather than taking Celexa. The fight against anxiety is a long hard road but never give up. Keep believing and praying and you will get through this.

We are all here to help and assist you in any way that I can. Take care
