Schizo-Affective Disorder

[atvsamala]

Hello,

In 2006, I have been diagnosed with Schizo-Affective disorder, a psychological illness that is a combination of mood disorder and psychosis.  Before, I was hearing voices even when I was alone and whenever people are around me, I felt like they were talking about me.  And it's not just a feeling.  I actually heard that what they were saying to each other was something about me.

But now, I know that my illness has affected the way I perceive things and I realize that hallucinations aren't real.  In fact, I can function normally now and even enjoy my work.  But I can't stop thinking about what happened to me years ago and I still question myself if everything I experienced before really happened. 

Did anybody ever have this experience?  Could someone please tell me why hallucinations happen?

Regards,
atvsamala

[SexPistolsfan77]

Well, if you now know that the hallucinations weren't real or whatever, then it sounds like you've recovered. I wouldn't dwell on it. =)

[abeja_reina_1989]

wow! that must be a lot to deal with.. I can't even imagine.. I'm glad you're doing better tho! :)

I'm not really sure why hallucinations happen.. I think it's some kind of 'mis-firing' of neurons or something like that in the brain. things just aren't being read properly, I believe

[theoriginal]

Heh, I know how you feel so much that it hurts inside. In April 2008, I experienced psychosis for the first time. It was a scary experience. I thought that someone in Europe was in love with me and she was speaking to me telepathically. Everyone around me looked different (I don't want to go into detail about that hallucination since I feel embarrassed discussing that). I also thought that I was some character from a video game and I felt that I had a special mission every since birth.

So many thoughts were racing to my head earlier that day (There was a point where I thought I was a genius) accompanied with a series of mood swings. I won't go more into detail but you guys should understand where I'm coming from by now; it's something no one wants to go through in their lifetime. Ever since all of this happened, my life isn't the same anymore and I keep thinking about why this happened to me (I even think about why is it that only me in my family has to be burdened with this). Everyday, I keep thinking more and more about that experience, stressing myself at the same time, resulting in me having very little motivation to do things and hating almost everything around me. As I'm writing this, the pain of remembering that experience continues to haunt me. 

[abeja_reina_1989]

I can't even imagine!! I'm very sorry to hear that theoriginal. However, I know there are TONS of people on here that have experienced this and can probably help you with it. My heart goes out to all of you

[shrublet]

Well, if you now know that the hallucinations weren't real or whatever, then it sounds like you've recovered. I wouldn't dwell on it. =)

I don't think the OP is dwelling on it. I think that they are just trying to figure out the how and why of something that they've struggled with. Which is something I really admire, actually. It's absolutely FANTASTIC to hear that you've overcome this to the point where you can function now, atvsamala. I can only imagine how much of a struggle that must have been and I think you are incredibly brave. And same to you, theoriginal.

Unfortunately, I do not know much about hallucinations and do not feel comfortable just regurgitating something I pulled off the internet. I truly hope that you find some more supportive and sympathetic people on here such as theoriginal. Also, have you looked into any books? Or it could help to have one or two sessions with a psychiatrist, purely to find out the biology, etc. of the disorder, if not for therapy.