Newbie here~Loosing hope

[Blessed08]

Hello. My name is Heather and I'm from NC. I have an 8 month old beautiful daugther. I have been battleing w/ anxiety for over 11 years now and thought that things were looking good........but of course not! Here recently I have been having major panic attacks which require medical attention. I am just so focused on something physically being wrong with me that I can't look past anything else. It's like anxiety has grabbed me and isn't trying to let go. I normally can talk my self through it or use some techniuqes I've learned over the years however this time, nothing seems to work. I finally have broken down and accepted the offer to see a psyc doctor next weeks, which I'm also nervous about. I just feel so disconnected from the world and reality that I feel my life is nothing but anxiety and that's all it's ever going to be now......i'm just going on and on....sorry. I just hope for some good support thats all   

[sixpack]

hi there and welcome

Recently there have been quite a few new mommas here at the ZONE.  So there are quite a few women in the same ole leaky boat as you.

I understand that you've had anxiety for several years, but did you realize that you could be suffering from ppd/anxiety?  It can appear anytime from birth to one year postpartum.  It actually takes up to a year for your body to get back to its prepreggo hormones.  Probably longer if you are breastfeeding.  Women who already have anxiety before pregnancy have a greater risk of developing ppd/anxiety.  This part of anxiety is caused by the wildly fluctuating hormones.  I have 6 kids (eldest is adopted).  Following three of my pregnancies I definitely had a huge increase in anxiety.   So my opinion is that this what is happening to you.  The nutty hormonal imbalances are also the likely cause of your techniques that normally work for you, not working now.  I know it is hard.  I've been there and done that.  I think it will be great for you to see a psy.  That should help you get back to your normal self---hey maybe even better. 

[Blessed08]

Thank You. I thought the same thing about the PPD, because right after I had her, maybe a week later, I felt like this. So automatically I thought it was PPD so I went back to my ob and saw the therpaist there, however she said that it just sounded like regular anxiety and left it at that. So I left the office with nothing more than I came in with. But about a week later I was back to my normal self. That's why I can't understand why this time I can't pull out of it.....it just doesn't add up to me.

[constant_fear]

I suffered from PPD/anxiety more than i realized after my first daughter was born.  I didn't seek help and I feel like it really took away some bonding time that I should have had with her because I was so pre-occupied w/ my own nervousness and fear about being a new Mom.  The hormones definitely played a part in it, but I'm actually still struggling even 4 years later just because I had anxiety before -it's just snowballed as my responsibilities and my investment in this life have grown with having a husband and kids.  I do hope that you stay strong and find help from a counselor and even medication if you need it.  And hopefully your hormones will return to normal and you can return to normal in the next 6 months!  Congratulations on your new baby!

[sixpack]

silly ob.  she should know better imo. 

I really think ppd is having the greatest impact on you right now.

[Blessed08]

Thank you all. And it really may be PPD. I have actually suffered from anxiety/panic disorder since i was 12yrs old. So that does play a part in it as well. It just seems so bad this time like I can't pull all the way out of it. I just have this horrible fear that something is physically wrong with my health and I have some sort of sickness. I never felt like this before but since I had my daugther its like I have a reason to live my life and not being here scares the mess out of me.