not much family support

[lilgina]

Lately I have felt extremely exhausted from the moment I get out of bed; it's also a fight to actually get out of the bed.  I'm a person who doesn't recognize whethor I am depressed or not but I don't think this exhaustion is illness so it must be that I am depressed so why don't I see it?  I help my parents out everyday by driving my dad to work and doing some house chores for my mom and they depend on me a lot.  My dad is an 'old school' sicilian man who says "I never heard of depression in sicily", or, "depression? yeah that's what I went through during the war".  He thinks it's the depression is when he had no food to eat as a child, and had to pick olives with his tiny hands to help his parents.  He means well, but the other day when I told him how tired I was he said with his cute italian accent "I'm going to build a hospital".  In other words, he was tired of hearing me complain and thinks this is something I should just 'suck up'.  He's had to deal with my mom and her illness (schizophrenia) for the 40+ years they've been married and has been through a lot with it---as have I.  So he is really sick and tired of us sick and tired people. Anyway, his response kind of made me feel guilty for saying such a thing after all he's been through I don't want to burden him.  But I do feel like my life is at a stand-still, and I feel like I'm in some kind of monotonous rut or funk.  Nothing thrills me anymore, nothing interests me, I don't pay attention to what other people say when they talk to me enough to respond appropriately, I'm forgetful, I'm tired, I'm just 'blah' and I want to get out of this depressed funk and be lively and energetic again. I'm considering couseling again even though I was not a fan of my couselors approach, I'm that desperate to go back.


lilgina

[cubmanben]

Well, for whatever it's worth, some people just don't understand depression. My wife is one who thinks that I should just be able to plow my way through life and doesn't understand why things bother me the way they do her. My mother in law was in a bad car accident about 5 years ago and can't work and can't ride horses anymore like she used to love to do and didn't get depressed, and they both like to remind me of how if anyone should be depressed it should be her. Which is a vaild point to an extent. I would look at it more of "That's great that she doesn't get it, but I still do." The one thing that is tough, but very important to remember when going through this is that we're all different. Some people are prone to depression, others are not. You and I may have had some similar experiences with how depression has made us feel, but the way it effects each of us will still be different on some levels.
I think for you perhaps therapy is a really good option. I believe personally that there are some things that you need to work on getting off your chest and get out of the funk that you're in. It's soooo hard to do on your own when you feel lousy. If you don't like your counselors approcah, try a different one. There are thousands of them out there. Keep posting too, keep talking your way through things. Remember that it's you who needs to get well, so while it's hard to not have the support sometimes, it's ok in circumstances like this to be selfish and think of your and your health first and foremost because you'll be a better person when you're well!

[lilgina]

thank you so much cubmanben, I appreciate your reply; you're right about talking things through with counseling maybe it will help me figure out why I feel this way and how to change it.


lilgina