What to do?

[Ecnal]

Hi. Im a 20 year old male with what i know is social anxiety disorder. Ive always been very shy, but at the same time i always have had lots of friends, girlfriends, and at times felt normal. Within the last year or so my anxiety has reached its peak. I cannot do anything in front of others without being extremely nervous. I can't go to a store without panicing in my mind that i will see someone i know that wants to talk to me. I drink a lot to cope with it. I go to a lot of parties and when im drinking, everyone loves to be around me. I make lots of friends, im funny, outgoing, and just have a great time. But when im sober, im just the opposite. I will avoid meeting any new person, i constantly worry about being scrutinized by others, making a fool of myself, etc. I have goals in my life that i cannot accomplish with this. I want to be a firefighter more then anything in the world, but i know i cant when im like this. My doctor prescribed me 10 mg of prozac that i have been on for depresssion, about 2 months. Since i started taking it, i notice my nervousness, anxiety and what not is getting worse. Im thinking about switching to Paxil. What do you guys think?. If anyone takes the time to read this PLEASE give me some advice and tell me what you think. Thank you all. 

[pinky5]

Ecnal,

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and desperate right now. This will get better. you have to believe that. Are you going for any therapy? If not, you need to go. It's really hard to go to someone and open up, but living with this is a lot worse. The first time I went for therapy I was shaking and I just sat down in the chair and started to cry before I could even get any words out. Don't worry about looking silly, they've seen it all and heard it all.  I once heard 0119 defined as "a permanent solution for a temporary problem" and that really stuck with me through some of my worst times.

I know what you mean when you say that drinking makes you feel much better and comfortable. I used to feel the exact same way and drank too much in my 20's. The downside to this is the mood swings drinking leaves you with for the next couple of days.

Strangely it's common for people with social anxiety to be well liked, funny, and even to appear outgoing. People are often surprised to find out the extent of your discomfort. The way out of this is to be really open and honest about how you are feeling. The more you admit to it and let it out in the open the more it loses it's grip on you. Seems like the opposite would be true, but it's not. Just go and do the things that make you feel uncomfortable and tell people how you feel. Give yourself permission to  leave a place anytime you want to. Just go and try, even if it's for a few minutes. Everyone with social anxiety worries about being scrutinized, but just remember that whatever someone thinks about or says about you reflects them, and really has nothing to do with you anyway. You have no control over it, so just let it go.

People here are probably sick of me recommending my favorite book, but you sound like you could really use it so I'll tell you too. It's a book about releasing feeling called "The Sedona Method" by Hale Dwoskin, available on Amazon. It teaches you how to release all those built up feelings that overwhelm you and drive your anxiety. Please buy it and start reading. I found this book when I was 35 and would have done anything to learn this earlier in life. Hugs.

Rachel

[o-ren]

Hey ecnal,

The first thing you should do is quit drinking.  Alcohol triggers anxiety and it is often one of the reasons for having high anxiety.  You can do all of those things you mentioned without alcohol.   You should just look into yourself and believe that you can make it through this.  Anxiety is just a phase, it will go away but it is up to you when you actually start fighting it.

Don't let go of your dream to be a firefighter.  Keep that as an inspiration to you get through these horrible times.  I use to be in the same position as you.   Always scared from people even though I have no reason too and always trying to find ways to get myself out of social interaction.   The 2nd thing you should do is let go of your fear(easier said than done, I know).   Anxiety feed on your negative thoughts, it grows more the more you panic.  By letting your fears go, you are slowly defeating its purpose.   Keep this up and you will back to yourself in less than a year.  Good luck.

[Janey]

Ecnal,

Nothing is ever that bad in life that you should end it all. And trust me this is a forum with people who are experiencing the same difficulties as you and truly do relate to you. By the sounds of it you have so much going for you, and all you need to do is see someone or change your medication.

If you ever feel down, please please please send anyone of us here a message and we will be here for you.  But most importantly you need to see someone there in your hometown who you can sit down with and chat to and find solutions for your anxiety.

I hope you are feeling well and remember everyone is here for you even though we are all miles apart!!

Chin Up!!

Janey   

[Ecnal]

Thank you guys all very much for the advice, i appreciate it. I may try a therapist sometime, if i do not feel any better. Have any of you ever tried Paxil? If so, did it help any? Im just wondering. Thanks again.