Has anyone ever gone through this?

[Jeska16]

I have severe anxiety and depression. I can't get unwanted negative thoughts out of my head. I know they aren't my true feelings but I still panic about them. I get very anxious around my boyfriend and I have crazy thoughts I may not love him anymore, but I know it's the Anxiety and Depression causing me to feel this way. I'm scared and constantly worry I wont get better and afraid my boyfriend will get tired of this and leave me. Everyday I cry and panic. How do I cope with this and what medication helps with anxiety and have you experienced something like this? Thanks

[cubmanben]

Hello Jeska and thanks for the background. I lost my dad a year ago and it kicked off some major anxiety and some depression around the holidays back in November/December. I worried all the time, I couldn't focus, I couldn't stand the negative thinking. I wondered all the time how I was going to get through this. I worried about telling my wife about what was going on because I was afraid she would think I was going crazy. I worried about losing my job over my anxiety, losing my marriage, everything. I worried that I was just going to keep spiraling down hill until one day I'd finally end up just getting thrown in a padded room and eating oatmeal 3 times a day and drooling on myself. It sucked horribly. The worst part is that I have a great job, a wife that I love and who loves me and a lot to look forward to, but I just couldn't see the light for anything. As far as things that help, writing helps me a lot so does exercising, reading things like that that keep my mind busy. As for medications, that would be a good thing to discuss with your doctor. I personally have found Lexapro to be pretty helpful thus far. I wish you all the best and let me know how you're doing.

[Jeska16]

Thank you cubmanben for reading my question. I will let you know how I am doing. I hope you are doing well.

[Deanne]

Have you ever talked to your boyfriend about your fears?  You might just find out that you are worrying for nothing, and what a great relief that would be. 

I really do hope that you feel better soon.  Sending you lots of warm wishes.

[vikirich]

Jeska, i go through EXACTLY the same thing.
i have a wonderful boyfriend, and yet my anxiety causes me to worry about whether or not i love him properly or not.
i know it's just the anxiety (i particularly worry about our future, what with us going to university this year) but sometimes it can really affect the health of myself and the relationship.

As aforementioned, exercise and distractions can work really well, since i've had my anxiety, i've pushed the negative feelings into a journal, and into my college work, so that way i'm channelling the energy productively :)
i hope things are still well with you and your boyfriend :)

have you tried talking to him about it? because you might find him to be very understanding :)
best wishes :) x

[Lozza]

I'm also going through exactly the same thing.
I thought I was alone in feeling this way...it's nice to not feel alone...

[bubbles]

I am also going through this same issue. It's so frustrating because he is everything and more to me, yet by constantly thinking about "do I love him?", "what if we're not happy forever?", even "will I be attracted to him in the future?" is making the time I spend with him anxiety ridden because I am thinking too much and not just letting my real feelings flow. I don't know if you all do this too, but i am constantly comparing my relationship to other couples and thinking "are we that happy?" or "do we smile at each other and love each other like they do?" My bf is getting sick of me always comparing us and saying WE ARE NOT THEM. The most frustrating thing is I know in my heart this must be from my anxiety and it's not really how I feel but it's so automatic in my head that it feels real. My boyfriend is in the military and I only see him about once a month so this already makes a difficult situation worse. I just feel so empty sometimes and like I cannot enjoy anything. I feel better just knowing others are going through the same thing. I just hard for me to accept anxiety for this particular issue because it is so close to my heart and so difficult to feel so sad about the one thing that makes me truly feel happy and like myself.

[dbirm77]

Dealing with negative thoughts can be difficult.
They seem so real and have us questioning our own feelings.

"Thought stopping" worked well for me.

Thought stopping is a technique that when you have an unwanted thought, you internally scream at it to leave at once. At the beginning I actually screamed outloud until I got better at it.
Sounds strange but if done properly it works wonders.

Everyone has irrational thoughts.
Non-anxiety sufferers do not validate these thoughts, they simply come and go.
When dealing with anxiety, we let these thoughts fester in our minds and they then seem real.

They mean nothing.
This is normal when dealing with high levels of anxiety.
Like all other symptoms, these thoughts will no longer matter to you once you learn to fully accept them as anxiety.

Good Luck,

Drew

[tigerpaw]