do i have ptsd

[froggy]

I am putting this here because I don't know if I have PTSD.  I do know that I have been treated for anxiety and depression for over 20 years.  I was a victim of domestic violence for 25 years (was married).  I felt trapped.  I was abused physically, emotionally, financially, sexually and psychologically.  I didn't remember most of the abuse til after i was divorced.  The abuse happened almost every day in varying degrees.  Within hours of the abuse happening I would forget it.  I remember it sort of slipping away.  The doctors tell me that this was my minds way of protecting me.  I would try to write the incidents down to document before they would slip away.  Now that I am divorced, I am remembering the abuse slowly.  It's as if the memories are coming back by themselves a little piece at a time.  I am having depression as well (a lot of sleeping).  I can't focus on anything.  It has taken me hours to get to the point where I can write this post.  Not because I am shy but because i couldn't focus.

[sixpack]

it could be that.  Although, and I'm not an expert by any means, I thought PTSD mainfested itself in a way thay the person not only remembered the incidents but actually felt they were reliving them.  The memories felt like it was happening at that moment.  So that's what I know about PTSD.

What may be happening here is that you are now, since you are out of the abusive situation and safe, that you mind is allowing you to remember.  So the memories are surfacing.

When you talk about doctors, are you meaning psychologist/psychiatrist?  I think if you want to get through all of this, you may want to speak to a therapist.  He/She could help you through this more easily and help you to move through the memories without as much anguish perhaps.

I'm so sorry you went through so much HELL for so long.  I could only imagine how horrible it was. Probably that wouldn't even be close to what it must have been like for you.

[froggy]

Thank you for replying.  Yes, I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for meds.  I just want a name for this and to find others like me.

[Raiyne]

I had similar problems when I was 17 and I was told it was PTSD. I wasn't having flashbacks, but I was really out of it all the time.  Like I would leave class and wander the halls at school, had trouble remembering to eat or how to dress, etc.  It's really hard to explain the way I was feeling back then.  It was like the present was no longer real, and while I wasn't technically reliving the past, I was sort of stuck thinking about it all the time.  Looking back now, I'm really embarassed by how I acted in school, but at the time I couldn't focus on anything outside of my mind to even consider how other people saw me. 

I'm really sorry about what happened to you.  In my opinion, you could very well be dealing with PTSD.  I'm not sure what advice I could give, except try to take it easy for awhile.  I ended up dropping out of school, but I came back and got my diploma 2 years later.  Do whatever you need to do to give yourself time to heal. 

[Lykourgos]

I really wish I could tell you, but only someone really licensed could diagnose you with anything specific.  However, I think the fact that you are here and looking for answers speaks wonders about what you are trying to do.  You are trying to move on from the past and recover.  I commend you for that.  I'm relatively new here as well, but I have found that this community is extremely helpful and a great resource.

Welcome to the Zone.

Ciao,
-Lÿ.