I don't know if I should change the situation at work or change my thinking

[nmrx]

I've been working at my current job for a year and a half.
When I'd been there 7 months is when my anxiety came back.

We go out to eat at restaurants EVERY day for lunch. At first I was bothered by the money I'd be spending as well as the possibility of gaining weight (which thankfully that doesn't seem to be happening from my choices) I spend between $160 and $200 a month on food at work because of this.

Like I said, my anxiety came back 7 months in, after I got sick.

I feel like going out to lunch takes a certain amount of effort from me, having to all lets get up, lets go -walk- to the restaurant, now let's -wait-.
I hate that my coworkers ask me what I want to do for lunch when its like 45 minutes after we get there in the morning!

I can't tell if I'm just aggravated at their excitement over food or if it's entirely my anxiety. I know that it's -important- to change the way you think/approach things instead of avoiding things. I suppose its always bothered me, but I'm just not sure what to do!

We're a close knit group, it might be weird for me to not go out with them all the time, and I wonder if it would -hurt- me to not go out to lunch with them because I wonder if too big a part of me is avoiding it due to anxiety. I do get genuinely aggravated that I'm asked about lunch in the early morning and that it is such a BIG DEAL. I think they make it into a big deal and my mind translates it into an even bigger deal and in a bad way.
Like instead of not taking 30 minutes for us all to decide where to eat and some people getting aggravated over nobody deciding and the asking ALL morning long what do you want to go have for lunch and then just all the effort into it really bugs me... what can I do to change how I think about it or what else can I do?

[nyiaca]

That sounds really ANNOYING. It sounds like people would much rather focus on anything rather than work, so lunch is the daily topic of conversation. I've had jobs like that. It's not you.

I don't think it would be out of line for you to say, "I can't really afford to go out to lunch everyday," especially with the economy the way it is. You probably will get some grief from your co-workers, but you need to decide whether it will really be that bad or not. There may actually be other people who feel the same as you, but don't want to say anything either.


I don't think it's anxiety, just annoying co-workers  which puts you  in the uncomfortable position of having to make a decision that may have real consequences which affect your social-working environment.

I'd like to hear what happens.

[Door]

^^^^

I agree.  I'd be annoyed.  When your coworkers want you to eat lunch with them everyday, it seems like a burden.  Not only is it expensive, you could be doing other things with your time, like work, exercising, or running errands.

I would pull the "I can't afford it" excuse.  Or tell them I have go to dialysis.  Kidding about the last one.

Yes, I know how difficult it is to graciously decline lunch invitations everyday without causing a chaotic mess at the office.  It's hard to tell them that you'd rather be saving money and doing something else because they can take it personally.