College...

[JesE]

I dont know if I will even make it to college or not because I have ZERO money and my grades aren't good enough for a scholarship or anything.... But if I do I have no idea what I am going to do with my life.
The future terrifies me and I hate thinking about what job or career or whatever i want. I dont know what to do because that one question
What are you majoring in?
OR
What kind of job do you want.....
I DONT KNOW people terrify me and I dont know how I am going to make it in the "real world"

Any Advice please?   

[sixpack]

Most kids fret about what to be when they grow up.  Some have issues with money and/or other personal issues.  My hubby has a couple of nephews.  One will be graduating college this year.  He was a junior before he chose History as a major.  Of course, he doesn't have any idea what to do with it afterward.  The second nephew, and brother to the first, is dropping out of college this year because he can't be bothered with studying and is failing miserably.

I have a nephew (my sister's boy).  He is the same age as the History major nephew.  He didn't go to school for 2-3yrs out of high school.  Smart boy but not motivated at all.  He did have a part time job but mostly just schlubbed along.  Finally he got fed up with his life.  He knew he was responsible for himself and decided to go back to school.  He is finishing up his second year at a community college.  He is majoring in Math.  He has a 4pt GPA.  And wants to be a teacher (just like his dear aunty ).  He works full time. His mom helps out with $$$$ some.  Hell she just had a brain tumor removed last august and she doesn't have insurance!!! My nephew knows he needed to do something for himself so he actually made the effort to look for grants and scholarships this year.  He got them. 

*edit*  Sometimes you just need some time out of school to decide what you want out of life like my nephew.  Hopefully hubby's nephew will be able to use this 'out of college' time to help him decide.  Perhaps that's what you need to do too.

****BUT**** I've read your posts.  I'm honestly concerned about your well being.  I think you need to get into counseling.  The drug use absolutely must stop.  You aren't doing yourself any favors there.  The thing is you need to want this.  It won't be easy--not by a long shot.  I am certain there will be many roadblocks along the way be it unsupportive family, friends that want you to just hang out, or your own fears.  However it is your life.  You need to start with small steps.  Eventually the small steps become miles.  I have no doubt those first steps will be terrifying and some days you'll feel like you went backward.  But it is you that needs to want this.  Nobody can want it for you or make it happen for you.

 

[laura124]

The first 2 years of college are basically just required courses anyway, so don't worry!  A four year college is not for everyone and all of these options can seem overwhelming when you're young.  Start with looking at your strengths and passions.  What are your hobbies?  Ask your family, friends and teachers what they think your strengths are if you're having a hard time.  What professions could you possibly see yourself in?  Check out some of the two-year vocational studies at your local community college.  Do any of them spark an interest? Some colleges offer career counseling.  Also, most colleges offer financial aid counseling and will walk you through all of your options and applications, instructions, etc. 

Don't feel discouraged --education, whether vocational, traditional four year,or technical instruction, will open the door to a better, more secure life in the long run.

[reachforthesky]

I dropped out of college after one semester (after finishing high school and jumping into post-secondary). I worked full-time (in my now career) for 3.5 years. I decided if I wanted to move up in my career I needed to go back to school. I completed a college diploma and university degree in my field. I then successfully moved into a supervisory position in my DREAM job!

IT will happen, just don't force it. My grades sucked in high school and I never thought I would ever be accepted into University!! But here I am, still standing and with an amazing job!

Take your time and find out what you love...it's much easier and your life will be much more fulfilling!!

Take care and take a deep breath. Life is meant to be lived, not forced.

xoxo

Reach

[Door]

****BUT**** I've read your posts.  I'm honestly concerned about your well being.  I think you need to get into counseling.  The drug use absolutely must stop.  You aren't doing yourself any favors there.  The thing is you need to want this.  It won't be easy--not by a long shot.  I am certain there will be many roadblocks along the way be it unsupportive family, friends that want you to just hang out, or your own fears.  However it is your life.  You need to start with small steps.  Eventually the small steps become miles.  I have no doubt those first steps will be terrifying and some days you'll feel like you went backward.  But it is you that needs to want this.  Nobody can want it for you or make it happen for you.

I agree.  Give therapy a thumbs up.  Had I had therapy at 17, I doubt I would still be in this anxiety crap at 33.

College can wait.  Or, don't go.  In Europe, it is extremely common for high school graduates to take a few years to find themselves before entering a university ... or not.

I googled "career assessment tests" and got this:
http://www.google.com/search?q=career+assessment+tests

You might learn something interesting about yourself.

Take care.

[laura124]

Therapy AND school....don't wait-you may never go!

My husband worked as futures trader/broker in the stock market for 18 years and was very successful without a college degree.  Until his job was replaced by computers (electronic trading), which lead to many people becoming jobless--including my husband.  With no education or training to fall back on, he's SOL.  WE"RE SOL!  He's now 49 years old and his options are few at this point.  He would have made a great cop--too old to attend the training, he would have made a great physical education teacher/football coach but by the time he finished his schooling he would be almost 55 years old!  This is the age close to retirement.  And how is he going to support his family while attending school?   

My advice to my own daughter and son is that they are going to college or vocational school after high school.  End of story.  Therapy will help you work out your issues and steer you in the right educational direction at the same time!!

[Door]

Therapy AND school....don't wait-you may never go!

My advice to my own daughter and son is that they are going to college or vocational school after high school.  End of story.  Therapy will help you work out your issues and steer you in the right educational direction at the same time!!

You have a point.  I guess it's different for everyone.  I'm speaking as a person who had a full-ride to a top engineering school and flunked out after the first semester.  I was way too depressed and SI-ing to attend class or study.  All I did was cry.  In hindsight, I wish I had put my mental health first.  I could have delayed my education for a few years.

I'm in college now at 33, working on my 3rd degree.  I earned 6 figures before any college education.  How I did it was that I was mentally healthy and ambitious.  After stockpiling money, I went back to school.  I want a career change.  My mother changed her careers three (mabye four) times in her life.  She earned her teaching degree at 53 with no financial aid or savings.  I hope your husband can do the same.  Actually I know he can.  It might not be easy and Ramen noodles for dinner are involved, but he can.

[laura124]

Door, was your mother able to get a job in a school?  Your story is inspiring and yes, some people can make tons of money without an education. My husband was making six figures and even topped out at a million dollars.  Now we're flat broke, in debt and barely making our bills every month.  And he was never pro-active but rather re-active--even when he knew the change was coming. He now works for his friend who has a roofing and siding business doing sales.  We live in Chicago, so it's a seasonal job.  He spends most of his free time fishing and hunting.  We have two kids and no health insurance.  And you wonder why I'm depressed and filled with anxiety?

It takes a unique personality combination, along with intelligence to push to the top without an education.  But the majority need some type of training or education to open a door or two, you know?

[Door]

Door, was your mother able to get a job in a school?  Your story is inspiring and yes, some people can make tons of money without an education. My husband was making six figures and even topped out at a million dollars.  Now we're flat broke, in debt and barely making our bills every month.  And he was never pro-active but rather re-active--even when he knew the change was coming. He now works for his friend who has a roofing and siding business doing sales.  We live in Chicago, so it's a seasonal job.  He spends most of his free time fishing and hunting.  We have two kids and no health insurance.  And you wonder why I'm depressed and filled with anxiety?

It takes a unique personality combination, along with intelligence to push to the top without an education.  But the majority need some type of training or education to open a door or two, you know?

In 1993, my mother got her nursing degree.  While she was in school, she worked as a cashier in a grocery store for $4.25/hour.  She had $40,000 in credit card debt, 4 teenagers, a mortgage, and no alimony.  I remember when she started selling her jewelry.  Our health insurance was taken care of by my dad, which really, really helped.  She eventually sold the house.

In this economy, it is more difficult to be broke because it's impossible to sell your cars or your house in order to get money.

What's ironic is that once my mom became a nurse, she hated it and immediately began an exit strategy.  Today she is a tenured school teacher with the most awesome health benefits.  It's never too late to go back to school.  Never.  My mom was in her 50s when she got her teaching degree.

I feel as if I have to add that my mother was a doctor's wife.  She had a high standard of living before her divorce.  Then, she had nothing but her children.  She swallowed all her pride to work at minimum wage.  One of my high school friends was her boss.  How embarrassing is that?

I'm really, really sorry about your situation.  I've been seeing so many people getting laid off.  These people were earning $200K+.  They are typically in their 30s with a stay-at-home parent and small children.  I have no idea what they are going to do.  They have debt from getting their graduate degrees, mortgages, car payments, etc.  Their parents are probably broke too, with their IRAs and 401Ks dropping by half. 

Have you tried getting public assistance?  I used to get food stamps and Medicaid. 

I realize the importance of having skills and training for a secure job.  The reason I suggested that JesE might want to put off higher education is that she does not seem to know what direction she wants to take and she seems to have a lot on her plate right now (drugs, SI).  She's young too, I think, 17.  Having a year or two of "me time", working out her issues, dedicating herself to therapy, might be good for her in the long run.

[alcleme]

Hey, i dont normally post here, but wanted to let you know your not alone. last year i started college, first two weeks for me were hell, i was constantly nervous and fighting panic attack and to this day still fear the future and life after college. i have recieved lots of help from my friends and one thing that seems to help alot is to remember... the future is later, the present is now! focus on what is going on with your life now, and worry about that. Take life one day at a time if you have to. confide in a best friend about this too, im sure they will understand and letting someone else know helps greatly! as for the college major thing, think about what you like, and persue it. personally ive loved animals, so im going into biology, i know i wont make a ton of money, but im ok with it because im confident i will be making enough to have at least a decent life. just remember, God knows all, and will help you through your life's crisises!


Hope this helps you! there are also many excersizes to help panic attacks, like controlled breathing, mantra's, etc... look some up if you need (or ask for them here, im sure we all know at least one!)

[Neelee]

Employers now take more notice of experience than ever before, so despite the kind of grades you get, you can still work your way up the career ladder. Taking any job can give you something to add to your CV, even doing paper routes, as it shows you have dedication to the job and are willing to get up early (If you take morning shifts)

You'll find something that interests you eventually. I was going thinking of either going down the law or medical route when i was little, as I grew up I could see the ICT business being my career of choice, I'm taking my science degree in ICT now and am bored as hell of computers, so I might have a go at some entrepreneurial adventures during my summer break. I was scared at my leap from education into work too, I still am. Find some careers advisors in your local area, talk to them, and see where you go from there.