my first birthday party

[andie_g]

I'm so nervous and anxious cause I'm having a b-day party organized bymyself for the first time, I'm so afraid no one shows up because I realize I don't have friends and I'm not popular and I don't want to have all the party stuff and no one to enjoy it. That's my fear cause I told many people but no one actually confirmed just my bf and I don't want to stand alone just with him. This is exactly why I never had parties before it's too stressful, I  can't think about anything else but me staying at the party just waiting for the people to arrive hours and hours til it's too late and I get to see no one gave a 0103. I don't feel I'm important to anybody I feel the people I invited have more important things to do than going to my party and that makes me feel awful so worthless what would happen if no one shows up? I would feel humilliated and lonely because I'm not like my best friend and like my other friends that make awesome and crowded parties and I think this party was a bad idea I would like not to show up and go away. help please

[crazylady]

I really wouldn't worry about it until it happens. Then if it happens the way you think it might, it's really not the worst thing in the world. I know that sounds like a cliche, but really your lucky if you ask me. If you have a few people that you know you can actually count on, that you can call anytime and they will be there day or night no matter what you have achieved more than by having lots of friends that don't really care about you. So cheer up, whoever comes they really wanted to be there for you.

 

[CaliLady90]

When you go to someone elses party you are most likely watching what the host is doing, how many people are there, if everyone is having fun etc. DONT DO THAT  lol
Your judgement of others is causing a fear that they are thinking the same things your thinking about of them. But dont worry im not trying to say your judgemental at all. Im just suggesting next time you catch yourself analyzing and watching someone and what they are doing. Stop. Refocus. And continue on with your normal thinking of what your gonna have for lunch or whatever. Make sure not to scold yourself for doing it either that can make the problem worse.

It always important to remember that there is always a reason why we have a fear. Psychologists and Doctors may have you believe it is a deep rooted complicated fear, but most of the time you just need to re evaluate of what you are really scared of. Dont ever let yourself get the easy way out. So make sure no matter how nervous you are that you still have the party. For my own social anxiety i would run away from situations that made me nervous. At first that was fine but what happens when theres no where to run. You suffer for so long trying to hide things when the first time you were nervous you could have sat there and realized it wasnt so bad and never even gone the anxiety road!!! Lol

Hope you have a great time at your party!!
 

[beesylady]

You mentioned that your best friend had confirmed that he will be there. You are so blessed to have at least one really good friend. One great friend is better than a dozen rainy day friends or casual acquaintances. If they don't come, they are the ones missing out on spending time with you! One thing that I have realized is that many people who seem really popular don't have many real friends. They often have a lot of "friends" who hang around them to catch a little of the "glory".

[southpaw]

This is so similar to a situation I just went through (and am still going through!!)!!! See my post on the GAD board (hope the link works):

http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,15887.0.html

I planned a party for my son, who is turning 4 years old. Not many people responded to the invite, and most of those who did said they were out of town. I decided I was totally unpopular and had horrible visions of no one showing up, or just two kids. So I canceled the party. And now I TOTALLY regret it, and am having the hardest time getting over that regret. Turns out that enough people would have come - and if I had sent reminder emails to people, I would have known that people were coming. I just let anxiety make the stupid decision for me. And now I'm having even bigger problems dealing with the regret and anger at myself. But that's me, sorry... got on a tangent. 

Anyway - email people, ask if they're coming because you want to know how much food/cake to get, give them a phone call if you can (I can't because I'm afraid of the phone  ). You might be surprised at how many can come. And lots of people make the decision at the last minute. I threw a substitute party very last-minute for my son, and we had a great turnout!!

Happy birthday!!