I got food poisoning, vomiting is my "worst case scenario" with anxiety..

[nmrx]

I believe I got food poisoning, and like my title says, vomiting is what I fear would happen if I were to lose control. And I have never vomited from my anxiety. 

I haven't had a panic attack in a month!! No meds, I've been doing very well!

I feel my anxiety may be triggered... I was at work and felt this sickness, more like uneasyness that I could NOT shake. It felt EXACTLY how I feel when I am anxious (but it's definitely me being sick)
I am so afraid that now when I go back to work I will be anxious and think I'll be sick.
In the midst of not feeling well I felt like WOW I really want a normal morning! Like I DID question myself that I may not be anxious, like I would have spurts of calm.
The problem is it felt EXACTLY like anxiety... I don't want my mind to be confused.. I have thrown up since I got home and have NO appetite and have a bowel movement that suggests I'm sick. I am definitely sick right? I even am almost positive I know what I ate if it's not a stomach flu.

I know I'm rambling... Should I stay home either all of tomorrow or just the morning so I can make sure my mind understands I'm ok, if I stop vomiting for a while? I only did twice and it was bad.
I may do that.

With vomiting being such a fear, it isn't pleasant but to actually experience my biggest fear, something I've not done for almost 8 years, it wasn't THAT bad... I just got out of my office and went to the ladies room, that's all. It wasn't like how I keep fearing... So I hope I can take this as a good thing because I really think it is, I'm afraid of my anxiety being triggered when I go back to work but now I know, it's not THAT bad if you throw up and you're out somewhere! I hope that helps someone too.

[Door]

It sounds like you are sick.  Food poisoning is NOT FUN.  Please have a doctor check you out or call a pharmacist to in order to determine if there is anything you can do to make you feel better.

Stay home.  You have good reason.

When I had food poisoning, I pooped my pants.  I put a plastic chair the bathtub, sat on it, turned the shower on, and let everything run out.  I can not believe I am admitting this to you.  To the whole internet.  To the whole world.

[nmrx]

Thank you for the reassurance, it's really not a fun feeling but thankfully I haven't vomited since around 10 this morning. The vomiting part wasn't as bad as I thought and I always obsess about it like what would happen if I vomited when getting anxious...
I just hope I can have a normal day and not think I'm "permanently sick," like a bad ocurence making me anxious about the place I was at at the time.

[sixpack]

See how you feel in the morning and decide about work then.

Sounds truly strange about what I'm going to say.......but I'm kind of glad this happened to you.   I'm certainly sorry you are sick and throwing up is gross, but you survived it.  The world didn't collapse AND you lived to tell the tale.   Perhaps now this won't be a fear of yours any longer.  congrats on weathering a major fear.

[laura124]

It's probably stomach flu.  Vomiting sucks but being nauseous is worse!

[nmrx]

for some reason I am uneasy about cancelling my appointment with my therapist for later today. Before yesterday things were going fine anxiety wise, just a few things to note.

For some reason I feel like if I don't see her I will have a problem. I have seen her every week so that is why. It would be better for me to cancel from being sick...

[nmrx]

I just cancelled and I feel nervous about doing that... I just really feel like I need to see her weekly but I don't know if I could push myself to go. I probably COULD but I don't know... it's a tough situation I guess.

When I was feeling sick yesterday, it felt almost exactly like panic, that nausea... exactly the same. It was not unique.

But then again, how unique can being nauseous actually BE? Is that right? Isn't nausea... nausea? So that is why they were the same?

I suppose I'm not so afraid of the act of vomiting but now I am finding the similarities in how they felt are bothering me a lot and I can't relax.
My work is understanding, I know that when I go back to work tomorrow, if I had to step out for a few they would never mind on any day but I would know I have being sick to help cover for me, etc. Like I know I shouldn't feel as if it would be strange or embarrassing to have to leave or walk out for a few, etc. (basically, I SHOULD feel less "Trapped" as I have an excuse)

I would really appreciate any words on these thoughts, I feel sensitive without seeing my therapist later today. I think not seeing her is helpful also because I wonder how I will go without seeing her one week when I DON'T need to, I don't want not seeing her to be triggering, so I can hopefully use this to my advantage too.

[Door]

Hmmm.  I don't know.  I want to see my therapist weekly because I think it helps me.  I especially need to see her on my very bad days.  I think it helps her to see my symptoms right there in front her.  This way, she might be able to figure out more effective ways to treat me.

Oh how hard it is to get to her office on my very bad days.

[laura124]

It can very hard to distinguish nausea from severe anxiety and the nausea you get from flu.  When I have the flu, I know it.....I feel too sick to function: achy, chills, lethargy, along with intense nausea, diarrhea.  You have to do what you can:  if you feel too sick to go to therapy don't beat yourself up about it, just reschedule and go when you feel better.  If this nausea persists, it is probably anxiety induced so don't miss your next appointment!

[BobPhilo]

nmrx,

There have been about four or five times (in 27 years) when I just could not physically make it to my psychiatrist's office.  My appointments are always for 10:00 am.  So I called his answering service early and asked them to put me through to his voice mail and I just told him the only way we could have an appointment that day would be if he would call me at 10 am and we could do our session over the phone.  Every single time I had to do that, he called me and we had our weekly session on the phone.

As for your vomiting that is one of the worst things that happened to me after I had "the big one" that put me in the hospital and the time I started receiving complete therapy.  About a half dozen times I could feel the anxiety building in my gut.  I started deep breathing, tried to put myself into self-hypnotic trance state but I was always too late.  I'd stand up, walk around, splash water on my face, walk back to my office and promptly throw up all over the floor at work.  I had made it a point to tell everyone that I had these really nervous spells that no one knew how to treat.

I was seeing a Medical Social Worker who himself had agoraphobia and panic attacks.  He taught me a lot of the little tricks but his bag was not full of very many tricks.  Then on July 20, 1987 there was a front page article I had consented to in one of the two big papers in town.  I did it because I felt I owed it to others who might be suffering the same fate that I was.  By the end of that day I had received over 120 telephone calls from folks asking if that was me? I told them it was and then they started telling me about their anxiety disorders.  It's one of the reasons I continue making speeches about once a week.  Until I consented to the article about me I never had any clue, not one, that so many people that I knew and worked with occasionally had the same symptoms I did.  For me, it was all about giving back and it helped me to move forward.  Call me an idealist but I don't care.

Just remember it is possible to get therapy while you are at home by using the phone.  Right now I'm working on my psychiatrist to install a web cam and I would start a separate company and have people take web cam enabled computers around to patients so they wouldn't have to leave their homes.  He's starting to at least think about it and over the years I found that sometimes it may take me four or five years to train him to do something new.  He'll come around I think and so will a lot of other therapists.  It's not a substitute for an in-person session but for someone who has been homebound for years, it can be the little lifesaver that helps them get to the therapist's office.

Windy this weekend?  Go fly a kite and laugh,

Bob