"Your Town"

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"Yourtown", the use of metaphor in the support context.
Towns grow haphazardly over periods of time, with varying governing bodies at varying times. Likewise, people grow rather haphazardly over time, and in a way have varying governing bodies. The town is the product of the actions of all who went before, but its future, is in the hands of the current governing body and of its residents who have the power, if they use it, to elect a new governing body.

"Yourtown" is due for an election, its inhabitants have the choice to re-elect the current governing body, or if they like, elect a new one. If the residents of "Yourtown" are not happy with things about their town and feel that they would like things to progress in another direction, then they have the power to bring about the change that they desire. They simply have to elect a new governing body that promises to do the things that they want.

Change requisites.
On a personal level, this simply means that if you are not happy with your life, you have the ability, just as the residents of "Yourtown, to bring about change. Some the things required to do this are listed below.

An honest feeling that change is required.

A vision of what the situation will be like after the change. A vision of the future.

A commitment to change.

A plan of action.

A survey of the current situation, enabling a gaining of knowledge as where changes are needed in the old structure.

A survey of available resources and liabilities, both internal and external. Such as support services, learning about onesself and one's problems, how and why they occur.
In what areas and in what ways are changes desirable. Such as health, enertainment, freetime, worktime.
Look at how change will not only effect you, but also significant others in your life.

A commitment to become functional and intentional.

A need to be honest with oneself.

An understaning of the difference between self-esteem and self-efficacy.

An understanding that reality is subjective.

Understand the link between subjectivety and the feeling of inferiority, and how one is only one of the vast number of various human types that are possible because of the size of gene pool and the number of possible types, that humanity has the capacity to produce.

Understand feelings and their place in the greater scheme of things. Look for the reasons behind the feeling, feelings are tools used as aids in survival. Feelings allow the "computor" to talk to the concsious, they allow one to be aware that something is occuring at the physical level. They make one aware of what effect that the current interaction is having on the stability of the organism, don't forget random transient chemical change

Understand the importance of social interaction from a support point of view.

Understand the importance of "having hope".

Understand that being "future orientated" is not easy, because at its basic level the human organism lives in the now. One has to make, what happens in the future, important to the organism in the now, and if one can do this successfully, then one has are very good chance of remaining focused and committed to achieving the goals that they have set for themselves.
Realise that change is not only a slow process, but is also an up and down process.

Any plans made must have a degree of flexibility to handle the changes in circumstances that are inevitable.

Human responses.
All humans have a range of automatic responses to various situations and tasks. These reponses come in two types, one, genetic dispositions and two, learned behaviours. When an interaction occurs with the person and something external to them, their "control system", after scanning memories to elicite the relationship between the person and the other object of the interaction, searches for an appropiate response, be it genetic or learned.

If no appropiate response is found, the "control system" - for want of a better way of saying it, "feels a sense of loss of control", and takes the only action that it can, that action being, the switching on of the alarm bells. This switching on of the alarm bells, causes the person to feel anxious. This anxious feeling is a message from the "control system" advising caution and also warning that in the very near future, the person may be required to either fight or flee.

After the alarm system has been turned on, that is the person is experiencing anxiety, the "control system" starts searching for an appropriate response to the anxiety, and in the case of the socially phobic person, the response is usually always withdrawal from the interaction. Withdrawal is a learned behaviour that has been found to work, so in similar circumstances it will be used over and over again, entrenching itself more firmly as the only correct response.


It need not be so much as, not having the responses to needed to handle the actual situation, but more a case of not having the responses to handle the percieved situation, that is, all the possibilities that are envisaged by the "modern brain", all the "what ifs". It,s a case of having realistic thinking and learning to leave the "what ifs" behind.

Futher to this, if the "control system" decides that the danger is too great, it will initiate action imediately, that is, you will become aware that you have acted only after the act has occured, you will have no conscious recollections of any thoughts concerning the action, previous to the action taking place.

It all boils down to stress, loss of control. The situation is the stressor, and because you think you have an inability to handle the situaion [negative self-efficacy] you become stressed and have a typical stress attack.
Self-efficacy is the key.

Social phobia or any phobia in fact is the belief that a particular situation will be stressful. It is only natural to want to avoid stressful situations, because it has always worked in the past, and has become entrenched as an automatic response.

Psyching up.
Psyching up is gaining self efficacy, gettng to the point where one believes that they possess the necessary efficacy to do the task.
One has to be able to adapt to the ever changing environment and have a range of skills to cope with varying circumstances.

Feeling comfortable.
Lots of things can help one to feel more relaxed in social situations. Sunglasses, check out by doing trial run, have a pill, have a gurgle, take someone with you,

Initiating conversations and socialising.
Whilst shopping etc. practise simple conversation, enquire about another person. Fridays and Mondays are good days for this.
e.g.. what have you got planned for the weekend /
going out tonight?
how was your weekend ?
This gives the other person a chance to talk about themselves and most people enjoy talking about themselves and their own thing. Whilst talking in this simple manner, one is exposing themselves to their problem and putting in place in memory a less stressing more positive experience which helps to over write the negatives already in memory.

Whilst out and about, when you catch the eye of someone, give them a smile and maybe a hello, remember to be a bit cautious and selective with whom you do this to.

Before attempting a desired task that is anxiety producing, make sure you obtain as many of the skills required to do the task that is possible for you

Disorder breakdown.
Not forgetting the importance of the "whole picture", disorders must be broken down into their component parts.
e.g. social phobia, is there also depression, post traumatic strees, mild to extreme flashbacks,generalised anxiety, specific phobias etc.
Then the component parts disected further.
e.g. social phobia - specific phobias - phone phobia.
breakdown - all phone action? - making calls? - recieving calls?
look for reasons in both past and present, but don't over emphasise, it is
more important to move forward than dwell in the past.

Look at your present resources, also at what new skills you may need to obtain, to gain self-efficacy in the problem area.
Look at the usefulness of hobbies, book reading, use of leisure time etc. - look at a typical week in your life of - a typical month etc.