Checker

[elusivesystem]

I'm somewhat new to this... I've had undiagnosed OCD since I was about 12. I'm 15 now and its gotten worse, but, I guess that's why i'm here.
I mean, its not that bad, I guess. Compared to some people with OCD, I suppose I am lucky.
I'm a checker. I check everything. The doors, the hall, the phone number before dialing, (and even if it is the right number, dialing it five more times somehow makes it more right...). I have this fear that someone is watching me, so I put black tape on my PC lights that go to the speakers and the moniter, everything. I also put black tape over my satellite's little light thingy.
That's why I lock and check my door so much. I just have this fear that someone is watching me and that if I don't close and check the door to see if its closed so many times, that they'll run in my room and kidnap me or something.
I also put cloth over the vents.
One time, when I was tanning, I forgot to check the door number and to check if the door was closed and locked. I tried so hard to fight the urge to get out of the tanning bed and see. I sat there for so long, it seemed, panicking. Finally, I got out of the bed and checked the door and everything.
Also, I'm homeschooled. When I'm home alone, I'll walk throughout the house many times a day to simply be sure that no one is watching me. Many times, I will check the front and back door by twisting the knob until I am assured that no one can get in.
I also have this fear that there are cameras everywhere watching me. Whenever I go the grovery store with my mom, the cameras freak me out so badly. The entire time there, I look for them, making sure where they are. I know where most of them are in our local mart and try to avoid being in total view of them when going. However, as it is inevitable, I usually just try and convince myself that there are only cameras in places like that and that they are not in my house or anything.
anyway, i was just wondering if anyone else has the same stuff going on. Is anyone else a checker? Does anyone else feel like they're being watched?
-Miranda aka elusivesystem

[GMan86]

It sounds like you definately have OCD tendancies. I would seek a therapist and a psychiatrist because there are many drugs out there that can do a great deal of good. DO NOT be fearful of seeking help. That is the WORST thing you can do in your situation. Keep us updated on your progress!

[Janey]

I was exactly the same and was ashamed and embarrased about things that i did,  until i realised there are so many people out there like me. Even friends that i confided in have come out since abou their problems. It's more common than you think.

Do not think you are alone, therapists see people with this condition everyday.

You need to remember that you are not alone and that there is alot of support for you out there and even more so here.

 

[pinkpenny1uk]

hiya,
i'm new here. i have only started suffering anxiety and panic attacks in this last year, but i have suffered with ocd for countless years.
i too am a checker. i have to go around checking all doors and windows are locked,no dirty ash trays left anywhere,all electrical things are off. i then either sit down or go to bed for a few mins then i'm off again doing all the same checks.
i am worse at night and it can take  me ages untill i finish and finally settle.
i feel i have to do this and keep checking otherwise someone will get in or we'll have a fire.

i know everything is secure ,out or switched off but at the same time i still feel the need to go and re check and so the cycle continues....
i am currently waiting to c a therapist and have been since feb.

all the best to u

penny

[kiara]

Hi i think i can relate to what you are going through i suffer from panic disorder and at one stage acute anxiety im definitaly a checker , id leave the house walk outside the gate and have to go back and check everything was locked pluged out etc when iv already checked it before  the same when im inside the house our house was broken into 6 years ago while we were all in bed car stolen money taken cds stero pulled out window smashed in all while i was in bed asleep i dread to think wat might have happened if i woke up and went downstairs. so i think this is where this fear originated from in the last 2-3 months i have been getting so much better with therapy even the checking things have calmed down ALOT! you should really try some therapy

[NightOwl]

At 15, maybe you could get through it without medication.  I used to have many OCD characteristics and I am much better now, although I still do a few annoying things such as doing something a certain # of times.  I think all of these anxiety disorders boil down to people thinking too much.  Whether it is a physical reason, past experiences, or whateever main reason, they all boil down to overthinking.

[GMan86]

Fear is where anxiety stems from. Overthinking is just a result of Fear.

[cheryjeff]

I am a checker too. And no matter what I tell my mind it does not listen. I have to do it. If I try not to it makes it a 1000 times worse. The life of an OCD, GAD person is sooooo much fun. I am having a hard time standing it:-)